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TOPIC: Just getting started 2409 Views

Re: Just getting started 04 May 2023 18:08 #395353

  • cordnoy
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Eerie wrote on 04 May 2023 17:17:

cordnoy wrote on 03 May 2023 15:47:

cordnoy wrote on 03 May 2023 15:23:

monseyyid41 wrote on 03 May 2023 14:57:
Okay, confession time. I spent an hour and a half yesterday on Youtube. Nothing bad, just sports. So maybe technically not a fall, and I guess I should be happy that I'm still "clean" but I'm feeling more anxious than happy. I have been on this road before and I know where it ends up. I desperately want to turn around and go back to where I was the past 2 months. 
Growing up as a fan of a particular sports team, I always had a passion for this sport. When I went to yeshiva and got serious about my learning, I left it behind, but it never completely left me. So, a bunch of years ago, when I started slipping and spending a lot of time on youtube, one of the things that I got into was following my old team. I would watch highlights of the games, and things like that. Thankfully, for the last couple years my team hasn't made it very far. But yesterday, after almost 2 months of completely cutting myself off from any kind of news, I had some extra time on my hands and the Y"H convinced me to check the scores. When I did, I was shocked to see that my team had won the first playoff series, something they haven't done in a long time. I immediately got such a high from it (sports fans out there know exactly what I mean) that I decided to go on Youtube and watch all the highlights from the series.
Now I'm really conflicted. This fever has really gotten hold of me, but like I said, I know where this road leads to and I don't want to go there. How do I extract myself before something worse happens?

You can hope (or pray) that the Lightnin' or the Heat knock your team out!

Oops, I'm slippin'.

I was thinkin' the same

We communicated somewhat via pm and straightened out the teams. Go Panthers and Warriors!!!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

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Re: Just getting started 05 May 2023 04:43 #395383

  • cordnoy
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cordnoy wrote on 04 May 2023 18:08:

Eerie wrote on 04 May 2023 17:17:

cordnoy wrote on 03 May 2023 15:47:

cordnoy wrote on 03 May 2023 15:23:

monseyyid41 wrote on 03 May 2023 14:57:
Okay, confession time. I spent an hour and a half yesterday on Youtube. Nothing bad, just sports. So maybe technically not a fall, and I guess I should be happy that I'm still "clean" but I'm feeling more anxious than happy. I have been on this road before and I know where it ends up. I desperately want to turn around and go back to where I was the past 2 months. 
Growing up as a fan of a particular sports team, I always had a passion for this sport. When I went to yeshiva and got serious about my learning, I left it behind, but it never completely left me. So, a bunch of years ago, when I started slipping and spending a lot of time on youtube, one of the things that I got into was following my old team. I would watch highlights of the games, and things like that. Thankfully, for the last couple years my team hasn't made it very far. But yesterday, after almost 2 months of completely cutting myself off from any kind of news, I had some extra time on my hands and the Y"H convinced me to check the scores. When I did, I was shocked to see that my team had won the first playoff series, something they haven't done in a long time. I immediately got such a high from it (sports fans out there know exactly what I mean) that I decided to go on Youtube and watch all the highlights from the series.
Now I'm really conflicted. This fever has really gotten hold of me, but like I said, I know where this road leads to and I don't want to go there. How do I extract myself before something worse happens?

You can hope (or pray) that the Lightnin' or the Heat knock your team out!

Oops, I'm slippin'.

I was thinkin' the same

We communicated somewhat via pm and straightened out the teams. Go Panthers and Warriors!!!

Next time, that's where I should have put my money.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 05 May 2023 04:44 by cordnoy.

Re: Just getting started 05 May 2023 14:37 #395401

  • monseyyid41
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connected wrote on 20 Apr 2023 15:00:


There is a famous letter from Rav Hutner Zt"l



Where can one see the letter?

Okay, just an update. I previously quoted a line from a letter that Rav Hutner wrote and I was asked where it can be found. "retrych" responded with a translation from Torah.org. I don't know who translated it, but he did a good job, It was pretty accurate. Nevertheless, I am attaching the original letter here in לשון הקודש for anyone who wants to see it. It is written so beautifully and I have received much chizuk from it over the years.
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My thread: Forum (guardyoureyes.com)
We are not all in the same boat, but we are all in the same lake. And when one boat is in trouble, the other boats in the lake can quickly come to his aid. Feel free to reach out to me to give some chizuk or to receive some. monseyyid41@gmail.com
Last Edit: 05 May 2023 14:38 by monseyyid41.

Re: Just getting started 07 May 2023 12:55 #395433

  • Hashem Help Me
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Thank you for this letter. A masterpiece - not that the Rosh Yeshiva needs my haskama. A great tool to show anyone struggling who feels yi'ush.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Just getting started 14 May 2023 15:53 #395652

  • monseyyid41
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Hey, everyone. I just wanted to give a shout-out to our friend Gevurah Shebyesod. I was thinking about you all Shabbos 
My thread: Forum (guardyoureyes.com)
We are not all in the same boat, but we are all in the same lake. And when one boat is in trouble, the other boats in the lake can quickly come to his aid. Feel free to reach out to me to give some chizuk or to receive some. monseyyid41@gmail.com

Re: Just getting started 15 May 2023 14:31 #395701

  • monseyyid41
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So I came really close to slipping this morning. Instead, I reached day 70 of my streak. I should be happy (ecstatic even), but I'm not. And I don't know why. It seems really unfair. In the past, whenever I had a fall, I would get that awful, disgusting feeling that we are all familiar with. But it doesn't seem to happen the other way. Why am I not in a state of euphoria that I overcame this test, and reached a milestone? Instead I feel very bland, and even a little bit down that I almost slipped. Anyone know what I'm talking about?
My thread: Forum (guardyoureyes.com)
We are not all in the same boat, but we are all in the same lake. And when one boat is in trouble, the other boats in the lake can quickly come to his aid. Feel free to reach out to me to give some chizuk or to receive some. monseyyid41@gmail.com

Re: Just getting started 15 May 2023 15:33 #395704

  • retrych
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It's similar to the opposite extreme, when someone already entrenched slips. It doesn't feel as bad as a smaller slip when you're clean, because it's continuing what you are doing already.
You've already become someone who doesn't fall, so it feels natural.
Mazel Tov

alternately, this shows the feeling of disgust is at least partially the yetzer hara trying to make us give up. If it were really all us feeling we're too low, we'd also feel the opposite.

Re: Just getting started 15 May 2023 22:34 #395725

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monseyyid41 wrote on 15 May 2023 14:31:
So I came really close to slipping this morning. Instead, I reached day 70 of my streak. I should be happy (ecstatic even), but I'm not. And I don't know why. It seems really unfair. In the past, whenever I had a fall, I would get that awful, disgusting feeling that we are all familiar with. But it doesn't seem to happen the other way. Why am I not in a state of euphoria that I overcame this test, and reached a milestone? Instead I feel very bland, and even a little bit down that I almost slipped. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

Very normal feelings. Fully relate. Possibly because we don't see sufficient reason to rejoice, based on many silly excuses... It's the Yetzer Hora. wether or no t u feel it, your neshama is dancing, it's enjoying itself in your guf, alot more than in the past. Get up, go buy yourself a treat as a reward, and share with us here what you bought... 

Re: Just getting started 05 Jun 2023 15:00 #396878

  • monseyyid41
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The Yetzer Hara is a Ganev. Plain and simple. He doesn't jump on you to go straight to the bad aveiros. Rather he steals a glance or a peak. Just one look is all he needs and then you're in the quicksand. This morning he got me to go somewhere I should not have been, and from there it was easy for him. So although technically a slip, not a fall, I'm now feeling angry, frustrated, and anxious. Angry at myself for being somewhere I should not have been, frustrated that instead of celebrating reaching 90 clean days, I'm dealing with all the negative feeling that the slip caused, and anxious that the slip shouldn't turn into a fall. 
My thread: Forum (guardyoureyes.com)
We are not all in the same boat, but we are all in the same lake. And when one boat is in trouble, the other boats in the lake can quickly come to his aid. Feel free to reach out to me to give some chizuk or to receive some. monseyyid41@gmail.com

Re: Just getting started 05 Jun 2023 18:50 #396885

  • true_self
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monseyyid41 wrote on 05 Jun 2023 15:00:
The Yetzer Hara is a Ganev. Plain and simple. He doesn't jump on you to go straight to the bad aveiros. Rather he steals a glance or a peak. Just one look is all he needs and then you're in the quicksand. This morning he got me to go somewhere I should not have been, and from there it was easy for him. So although technically a slip, not a fall, I'm now feeling angry, frustrated, and anxious. Angry at myself for being somewhere I should not have been, frustrated that instead of celebrating reaching 90 clean days, I'm dealing with all the negative feeling that the slip caused, and anxious that the slip shouldn't turn into a fall. 

Reb Yid!
Celebrate your reaching 90 days, TODAY before its too late.
Its all עצת היצר, he doesnt want you to keep on sheteiging, he knows that celebrating victories, brings along more victories, and that's exactly what he is scared of, he wants to ruin it all.
Don't let yourself into his trap! there's nothing to be angry at yourself now, in fact being angry at yourself is the worst thing you can do right now. Look at your past 90 days, can you imagine what kind of tremendous nachas ruach that brings for Hashem? its unbelievable!!! so keep on shteiging, celebrate your victory, get yourself a special treat, so that you will stay with the sweet taste of victory, and reach many more bekarov!
Rooting for you!
True self
My thread: From two identities to True self

If you want to reachout to me to talk please email: wish2banonym@gmail.com

Re: Just getting started 05 Jun 2023 20:23 #396892

  • eerie
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monseyyid41 wrote on 05 Jun 2023 15:00:
The Yetzer Hara is a Ganev. Plain and simple. He doesn't jump on you to go straight to the bad aveiros. Rather he steals a glance or a peak. Just one look is all he needs and then you're in the quicksand. This morning he got me to go somewhere I should not have been, and from there it was easy for him. So although technically a slip, not a fall, I'm now feeling angry, frustrated, and anxious. Angry at myself for being somewhere I should not have been, frustrated that instead of celebrating reaching 90 clean days, I'm dealing with all the negative feeling that the slip caused, and anxious that the slip shouldn't turn into a fall. 

My friend, you said it so well. We all know that the simcha that we feel when we feel accomplished in our struggles is what gives us the strength and the desire to keep fighting. Sometimes our nisayon is not whether we should do or not. Rather, we are faced with a challenge of whether we should be excited and happy with what we have accomplished, whether we will let the YH convince us that we are _____, or will we remember that we are Beloved children of Hashem, who give him such nachas, whom he calls His malachim to show as examples of true servants who fight for His honor. My friend, don't let him steal your inspiration, your happiness, your true accomplishments. Kick him really hard in the pants and move right on! You have come so far and done so much, and beH you'll keep trucking onward and upward for many long, happy and healthy years!
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com
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