Vehkam wrote on 20 Dec 2022 14:56:

That post was modified by removing 2 words... 
Please keep the forum safe and clean. 

I would like to share that there is an individual who lives near a place that we sometimes visit, and he used to have a tendency to try to kiss my very young children, and to tell them to kiss him. This made me and my wife feel very uncomfortable, and at a certain point the next time he tried it, I told him I am sorry, but we do not let our children kiss strangers. This person, to whom I am not related and have no specific or significant connection got very insulted. He’s claiming that he knows them since they are Newborn children. I told him I am sorry, but you are not family and just because you know who they are doesn’t mean that is appropriate for you to tell them to kiss your for you to kiss them. The person may not have been doing it maliciously, and I’m pretty sure he cried when I turn around, but there are certain behaviors that’s not OK, and a child is a human being, one who is in a very delicate state and any thing that happens to them in their youth will have a big affect on their adult life. So my two cents are that if it is between protecting a child versus someone’s feelings, that is the feelings of an adult, who is behaving somewhere in appropriately towards a child, and absolutely the child has complete 100% priority. Regardless of how insulted or sad the other person will be.

Totally with you ILH247. It's silly to get the people riled up and into a senseless argument on the merry-go-round, but even those who disagree have to hear the people who say it the way it is. When a person has constant and unrestrained access to a toddler and has this desire that brings him to tears, he has to be told he's sick. I wouldn't do it because I'm not the forum policeman, people like me are here to encourage others to post, to keep trucking, offer some advice etc., but thank goodness the policemen are here. Yes, we know that we all need help, and we usually use the positive route. But we have to remember that sometimes it's time to for the appropriate people to step in put away all the niceties and put on the brakes. When that should happen? For that there are moderators to figure it out. Heaven help them do their job. Most of us seem to agree with them(I among them), some clearly disagree, but for us to argue is merely academic. So let's all just go to sleep. Ah lichtige Chanukah all my dear friends!

Ok…time to say goodbye to GYE. I no longer find it healthy or helpful. In fact, it’s at times a bit toxic.  I will continue my count and that’s it. No more interactions with other people on the site. To those who have helped me, thank you and hatzlacha. I wish you all only the best. 

Teshuvahguy wrote on 20 Dec 2022 17:29:

You keep this place so alive!! Please don’t go! If you do you’ll be greatly missed… but of course if it’s better for you to leave than I guess it’s our lose…

Geshmak! wrote on 20 Dec 2022 23:51:

Sorry…Cordnoy is driving me away. Too much entitlement and attitude and negativity. 

And HB, I really respect you and enjoy your insightful posts, I think the moderator would have no issue with the expressions you used above, being that you used a * in the word. I totally get that you were so upset, but may I suggest thinking it over? The call is yours, just bringing my sensitivities to your attention:) Keep trucking my holy friend! And keep posting!

Cordnoy is doing his best, dealing with crazy guys all day long who go on preaching rants. Yes, I disagree with him on many things, especially in the area of always being positive and always accepting people, but listen we all have different opinions on what helps people grow. We are all here for the same reason and we all must learn to get along with those of us who have different approaches.  I would like to take this moment to thank Cordnoy for being on Gye everyday, helping countless people overcome their desires and get healthier and happier. You put in so much effort going through all posts and threads, and spend an unbelievable amount of time just being there for others. You are selfless and its time to say thank you.  human being

Eerie wrote on 20 Dec 2022 05:51:

reading nivul peh affects us negatively. asterisk or not.  no matter what side of the argument one is on.  when someone speaks those words, it is unfortunate, but it is a onetime thing.  When it is written, it has the ability to impact many times over each time it is read.  (i understand the intensity that can lead to such language and i am not condemning anyone for expressing their pain.  one still needs to be aware of the consequences.)

Vehkam wrote on 20 Dec 2022 14:56:

That post was modified by removing 2 words... 
Please keep the forum safe and clean. 

ChaimMod wrote on 20 Dec 2022 15:10:

Sry to keep you busy lately! (funny, while I thought it was insensitive of me, i thought it was allowed, is this a change or it has always been like that?)

Absolutely. But we have got to stop letting arguments between ourselves and our disagreements in general from getting out of hand. We gotta breath deep and relax. It's great to post your opinion about anything, RESPECTFULLY, but let's not get worked up. Like my friend HB likes to point out, we gotta separate thoughts from feelings. We can think what we want, but let's not let our feelings carry us away to who knows where. And let's get cracking at the recovery thing:)