Teshuvahguy wrote on 20 Dec 2022 03:47:

I  asked 10,000 times what his original post was about. Not a single guy told me actions. The only guy that told me, told me it was just desires. 
Do you really think i would tell a guy who posted things implying he did/will/wants to molest his child that he's ok and normal?!

So it’s my fault I’ll take the blame…
sorry!
but I did learn a lot from what you posted so thx a million hb! And I’m so sorry…

HB, I truly and honestly didn’t recall the details of the original post. Maybe I saw a partially-sanitized version…I would have told you the details (within moderator limits) if I had remembered them. It was not intentional just to whip you up into a frenzy. I would never do that. 

Geshmak! wrote on 20 Dec 2022 04:43:

Omg that was embarrassing but I'm getting over it. Thank god I'm anonymous sitting here in my basement of basements eating cigars and chewing tires while playing poker against myself.  :-)

Teshuvahguy wrote on 20 Dec 2022 04:47:

It wasn't your fault. I had the info wrong. You said the correct things. Good night!

Teshuvahguy wrote on 20 Dec 2022 04:47:

Hi I would like to be honest, I am in SA, a great place for this kind of thing, I personally have watched porn and that is pretty much it, but that crazy world of the yetzer Hara can play tricks in people, I personally have lusted after prepubescent children! and I am sure others in the world have also, but there is a difference to lust and acting on it, of course lust is toxic but the halacha states that a girl of 3 and over is problematic according to some. some say 7 and some 9. Is it normal to have lust after a toddler? I dare say absolutely. Is it ok? Absolutely not! this is when a person needs to pray for the toddler and look away. Also it is not halachically ok to bathe ones child over a certain age. This is when the Rav must be consulted in order for the wife to hear from the rav that it is no longer ok for him to bathe his child. 
(BTW the Yetzer Hara for lusting after family members was eradicated in the times of the gemmara but today it seems to be coming back based on the pornography that is popular)
The age thing that people are not able to lust after toddlers is hogwash, made up by goyim, take a look in the gemara and halacha sefarim, they are far more reliable.

Misgaber96 wrote on 20 Dec 2022 05:05:

Thank you misgaber. Your post means so much to me. i had such a hard night and this post means the world to me to see you have the caurage so many of us dont have and to post it with such confidence. You are also very level headed in explaining that having desire doesnt allow us to act on it. Thank you so much.

I would like to share that there is an individual who lives near a place that we sometimes visit, and he used to have a tendency to try to kiss my very young children, and to tell them to kiss him. This made me and my wife feel very uncomfortable, and at a certain point the next time he tried it, I told him I am sorry, but we do not let our children kiss strangers. This person, to whom I am not related and have no specific or significant connection got very insulted. He’s claiming that he knows them since they are Newborn children. I told him I am sorry, but you are not family and just because you know who they are doesn’t mean that is appropriate for you to tell them to kiss your for you to kiss them. The person may not have been doing it maliciously, and I’m pretty sure he cried when I turn around, but there are certain behaviors that’s not OK, and a child is a human being, one who is in a very delicate state and any thing that happens to them in their youth will have a big affect on their adult life. So my two cents are that if it is between protecting a child versus someone’s feelings, that is the feelings of an adult, who is behaving somewhere in appropriately towards a child, and absolutely the child has complete 100% priority. Regardless of how insulted or sad the other person will be.

Totally with you ILH247. It's silly to get the people riled up and into a senseless argument on the merry-go-round, but even those who disagree have to hear the people who say it the way it is. When a person has constant and unrestrained access to a toddler and has this desire that brings him to tears, he has to be told he's sick. I wouldn't do it because I'm not the forum policeman, people like me are here to encourage others to post, to keep trucking, offer some advice etc., but thank goodness the policemen are here. Yes, we know that we all need help, and we usually use the positive route. But we have to remember that sometimes it's time to for the appropriate people to step in put away all the niceties and put on the brakes. When that should happen? For that there are moderators to figure it out. Heaven help them do their job. Most of us seem to agree with them(I among them), some clearly disagree, but for us to argue is merely academic. So let's all just go to sleep. Ah lichtige Chanukah all my dear friends!

And HB, I really respect you and enjoy your insightful posts, I think the moderator would have no issue with the expressions you used above, being that you used a * in the word. I totally get that you were so upset, but may I suggest thinking it over? The call is yours, just bringing my sensitivities to your attention:) Keep trucking my holy friend! And keep posting!

Eerie wrote on 20 Dec 2022 05:51:

reading nivul peh affects us negatively. asterisk or not.  no matter what side of the argument one is on.  when someone speaks those words, it is unfortunate, but it is a onetime thing.  When it is written, it has the ability to impact many times over each time it is read.  (i understand the intensity that can lead to such language and i am not condemning anyone for expressing their pain.  one still needs to be aware of the consequences.)

Vehkam wrote on 20 Dec 2022 14:56:

That post was modified by removing 2 words... 
Please keep the forum safe and clean. 

ChaimMod wrote on 20 Dec 2022 15:10:

Chaimmod, please, also modify Cordnoy’s language under “Tryin’” because he also used profanity with an asterisk and that profanity is still there. I’m sure you would agree that the rules should apply uniformly to everyone. See attached screenshot…

Teshuvahguy wrote on 20 Dec 2022 15:29:

It seems that the MODS are trying to do their jobs and they do it well! Let's not pin one against the other.
for a change let's try to focus on recovery and helping each other instead of getting lost in other details that will not help anyone... 

I’m sure the moderators are capable of speaking for themselves. Now, how can I help you with your recovery? I’m happy to try to do so.