Wow! POWERFUL! I can't believe I didn't reach out to hear from other people earlier. החייתני!! Your words are a balm on my poor soul, because it's beginning to think it ain't so poor! I also appreciate that you want me to keep posting, it's hard to believe people really want to this hear from me...I hope to one day be mechazek people like you were mechazek me

Eerie wrote on 25 Nov 2022 19:55:

Of course we want to hear from you!! We are here for you to support you and each other. This is the place where we can be open and honest and know that the people reading understand. No judgement here! You are among friends. 

erie" wrote on 24 Nov 2022 21:44:

Welcome! I didn't get to read your amazing posts because Shabbos comes early here in Eretz Yisroel. As someone who is in the age group of many of your Talmidim, I don't lose respect for anyone for being normal and falling. I have heard from R' Elya Ber Shlit''a that the Mashgiach Reb Matisyahu Shlit''a told him that if one of the Rishoinm was given an unfiltered phone he wouldn't be Oimed Binisayoin. If my Rebbi came to me one day and told me "Once every few months when I eat breakfast it's not 100% L'sheim Shomayim", Should I lose respect for him? Because he gave shmussen about not overeating? The representatives of Toirah are only here on earth to work towards perfection. No one is ever perfect. But the road to Hisgabrus in this Inyan many times runs through GYE. For Roshei Yeshivah, Rabbonim, Bochurim, Baalei Teshuvah, and all who are Mevakshei Hashem alike, this forum has become an invaluable resource to those with any level of struggle in the Inyonei Kedusha. Hatzlacha! (I don't lose respect for Yeshivos either. I am from a top Yeshiva in Lakewood and I know that from my Shiur at least 1/4 of them had / have repeated exposure to porn)

jackthejew wrote on 26 Nov 2022 17:03:

A gut vuch! Hey jackthejew! I never knew u live in the holy land… I always wondered what takes you sooo long to respond to my emails ( I thought your pushet a masmed)lol

very nice post! I love what you said from r’matisyahu… but the truth is you can see this from so many gemaris that tanyim ( off course we have no hasugah in them or this gemaris but…it’s a gmerah) that they nisyeins of real sex not only porn etc( not that internet can’t bring you there too r’l) and only cause in shemayah they told the y.h. To stop they if not they wouldn’t be able to control … and this that it’s says Kol hagudel mechavari… is not just chasidshah safer trying to give you chizuk ( not that it’s any less) but it a gemarah and it’s a fact! So what can be a bigger then that…

Eerie wrote on 25 Nov 2022 19:35:

Sorry I’m just getting you back for what you called me…
and abt not talking to me again… help do you mean we spoke ( or speak)?!?! ( you never know…)Lolol!
גוט וואך!

I see you sent me a private message… don’t ask I’m locked out of my pm, embarrassing story. I can see you sent me but I can’t respond. So I’m responding here. First thank you so much!! Second please posted what you sent I think it will be a chizuk for others maybe they’ll read for first time or they’ll read it again and get ungivaremt… so if you  feel comfortable please post it. thx!

Hi Geshmak, I have no idea if we ever spoke (or speak) I have no idea who you are, it's just an expression! I feel like I'm really among brothers here, and especially with someone who understands the guilt of being in chinuch, teaching Torah and on the other hand....about my private message, here it is "Dear Geshmak! I read your post about tefilla, it mamash made me cry. I'm also a very emotional person. The way you wrote it, the tefillos you pointed out, I had a real chizuk from it! Be gebentched!" for those reading and want to read what Geshmak! wrote here is the link https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Very well said, I agree, I am a bit lazy in regards to typing and being mechazek people. But I 100 percent agree, if there's any way to broadcast this. Maybe do it slow with each person one at a time, family at a time, and then eventually spread as a plan B. I love it when you write, just reading your comments and/ or other's responses to help aid all of us is WILD. Like the reason I say this is because what YOU EXPRESSING YOURSELF is YOUR REALITY and as well as MOST OF US, but YOU came FOWARD and describing with detailing, which I believe is what gye's mission is, for everyone to not be afraid and express your thoughts to help others and be helped. Once again Bravo, Kol Hackavod, Keep it coming you are very much appreciated! I will bz"h be in tune with this post.     

Ah gut voch to all my new-found friends!
I must tell you all it's been a long time since I've felt this good, this calm, this relieved. And I have only you, my anonymous friends, or should I say my newest bestest brothers, to thank. I was thinking over Shabbos how I have had a 'shvache' Yomim Nora'im these past 3-4 years, I had a hard time connecting, thinking to myself "I know I don't really want these things, but why will this year be different? Why would Hashem give me a sweet year or listen to my pleas if I can't pull my act together?" Especially this past RH and YK, being that this past year right before RH I had  a very difficult personal tzara which inflicted a lot of pain, and I felt that my teffilos the year before were not exactly answered l'toiva, and I didn't have to wonder why... 2 amazing things happened these past few days. Number 1 I opened up and shared my story, and that itself changed everything for me, to just get it out. The experience was exhilarating in the feeling of freedom, of relief it gave me. But even more powerful for me was how all of you responded with such positive messages, and I'm looking back to my earlier posts, I was incredulous, I couldn't believe it, these people know what I did and they respect me, they care for me, they want to hear from me. If they think that way, don't you think Hashem, who loves all of us more than we can ever imagine, don't you think He thinks that way? I realized that it wasn't Hashem who doesn't want to hear from me, it was me who didn't want to hear from me. And Hashem is standing there waiting for me to believe in myself, to respect myself, and to open my mouth and talk to Him...and you, my dearest brothers, you opened my eyes, when I saw how each of you responded with such feeling, how you all wrote how much respect you have for anyone that's trying to be a good Yid, I starting respecting myself. I have a way to go, I have to undo years of negative thinking, but it's amazing what you guys have done to me. Can you all give yourselves a hug from me? I can't stop thanking you enough! Hashem should bentch you all, and when Moshiach will come I'll come up to the dais to shake your hands!

Oh, and Geshmak!, one more thing...after what you describe in that piece, I have a request. when Moshiach comes and we can all know each other I want to come to your Shabbos seuda 

Dear Jack, I have no words for the chizuk you gave me! It's years of negative thought on my part, it's not easy to stop thinking that way, but every word from people like you goes a long way!

You mentioned numerous times about the position that you are in and how one might not think it necessarily makes sense that you are human and have or give into urges. I think the fact that you are in the position that you are, and you still had the courage to post this is even more admirable! It takes a lot more vulnerability for a person like you, that has accomplished so much and seems to have such wonderful relationships! To now come here, with your wonderful life bh, and put this all out there, is something I very much look up to!
I think that you will in fact be sitting at the head of the table by the seudas livyason

_doubled by mistake

_tripled by mistake

Lechaim! Would love to have you on a text message away, just reading that, I was thinking if only one can have that chaver a text message away LIKE............ RABOSAI...G  Y  E  is that TEXT message from SHOMAYIM, that's it, try listening-writing back-speaking with melachim on here- if this is where you are right now on gye's website; there's no reason for you to not feel a warm love from hashem  showing you what he means to you. The oilam here are messengers (I would say) from H'. Shkoyach for the text message