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Re: On Board again 30 Jan 2018 05:09 #326136

  • HakolMilimala
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But I see now that you’re 13 days sober, so I’m not sure why this conversation is still so dreary.
Seems like you’re doing something right! Good for you!

Re: On Board again 31 Jan 2018 00:26 #326197

  • chaimyakov
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Aside from the forum, the 90 day chart and the GYE Chizuk messages, I am not doing anything to remain sober.  I am either a dry drunk, or doing enough for the time being.  B'ezras Hashem it should continue.
Thankful for another sober day.
Kol Tuv

Re: On Board again 31 Jan 2018 00:33 #326200

  • HakolMilimala
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chaimyakov wrote on 31 Jan 2018 00:26:
 B'ezras Hashem it should continue.

Amen. 

Re: On Board again 31 Jan 2018 10:38 #326227

  • Singularity
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chaimyakov wrote on 31 Jan 2018 00:26:
Aside from the forum, the 90 day chart and the GYE Chizuk messages, I am not doing anything to remain sober.  I am either a dry drunk, or doing enough for the time being.  B'ezras Hashem it should continue.
Thankful for another sober day.
Kol Tuv

Is being a dry drunk satisfactory?
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


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Re: On Board again 01 Feb 2018 22:15 #326307

  • chaimyakov
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Singularity wrote on 31 Jan 2018 10:38:
Is being a dry drunk satisfactory?

Great question.  Long term no.  However, bli ayin hara, I am not experiencing any of the withdrawal symptoms I have had in the past, so maybe it is not a dry drunk.  Maybe I am doing enough now to remain sober.  Back in my ancient times, the effort I am currently exerting would not have been enough.  I will wait and see and keep you posted.
Grateful for another day sober.
Kol Tuv

Re: On Board again 01 Feb 2018 22:28 #326309

  • chaimyakov
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Something happened to me last week that gave me an opportunity to gain some personal insight and if sharing helps anyone besides me, even better.
I went into a place of business.  When I exited and went back to my car, I noticed an item of value on the ground. I was excited by the metzius and picked it up.  I thanked Hashem and felt a little bad for the person who lost it.  As I put it into my pocket, I quickly realized that the item had fallen from my pocket and rolled away when I got out of my car.  I was no longer elated about the metzius because it was mine in the first place and I was thankful for not losing it after all.  As I drove away I realized that I was wrong to feel this way.  I thanked Hashem for providing me with the object and the means to acquire it in the first place. I was also grateful for everything else that I have including the opportunity to learn from the incident.
Kol Tuv.

P.S. Summary:  I had to lose what I already had and find it before I could appreciate having it in the first place.
Last Edit: 04 Feb 2018 19:28 by chaimyakov. Reason: adding a ps

Re: On Board again 06 Feb 2018 21:56 #326565

  • chaimyakov
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Baruch Hashem, I keep trucking along.  I am tired and need a nap, so that is all for today.
Grateful for another day sober and wishing the same for you.
Kol Tuv.

Re: On Board again 15 Feb 2018 16:24 #327003

  • chaimyakov
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Baruch Hashem, still trucking.
Grateful for another day sober and wishing the same for you.
Kol Tuv.

Re: On Board again 20 Feb 2018 21:25 #327197

  • chaimyakov
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I am not sure why(really), but I have the ridiculous idea that looking at forbidden images right now on the computer will do something positive for me.  It is amazing how just typing that sentence and putting the feelings into words mitigates the desire.  
Grateful for another sober day.
Kol Tuv.

Re: On Board again 20 Feb 2018 21:32 #327199

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The YH works in mind-numbing ways. Keep trucking

Re: On Board again 23 Feb 2018 01:18 #327333

  • chaimyakov
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Baruch Hashem.  I just returned from a trip with my sobriety intact.  The Shmuz in the CD player and GYE Chizuk on WhatsApp get kudos for helping me along.  I left my unprotected tablet locked in the filing cabinet in the home office because I don't trust myself to do the right thing in yichud with it.  I did have some invading thoughts that I had to vanquish as quickly as they arose.  Being alone in hotel rooms has always posed additional challenges for me. 
Any of you have things that work for you when you find yourself in a location that is the most challenging for you?
Kol Tuv.

Re: On Board again 23 Feb 2018 03:02 #327337

  • mayanhamisgaber
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Call someone immediately 
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: On Board again 28 Feb 2018 15:24 #327624

  • gibbor120
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Plan ahead.  Keep busy.  Tell someone you will call them periodically.  Stay out of isolation as much as possible.  Stay connected to people, even if only by phone.

Re: On Board again 06 Mar 2018 21:16 #327826

  • chaimyakov
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"No situation is so bad that acting out won't make it worse!"
I don't know the source or when I heard that first, but at the moment it fits me to a "T".
Grateful for being able to vent and for another day sober.
Kol Tuv
Last Edit: 06 Mar 2018 21:17 by chaimyakov. Reason: misspelling

Re: On Board again 11 Mar 2018 16:47 #328092

  • chaimyakov
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Lies, Lies and D*&N Lies
Just look at some inappropriate pictures, enjoy yourself.  You aren't hurting anybody.  Nobody will know.  You will feel so much better.  Everybody else is doing the same thing. Just this one time. Just a little peek won't hurt.  You wouldn't have been given such a desire if you weren't allowed to fulfill it.  Go ahead, you have earned it.  You have been so good for so long, so enjoy.  Are you sure your computer is really safe? You better check to be sure.  See if they have patched that weakness you found before.  This will probably be the last chance you will ever have to see...  I wonder if I can sneak anything inappropriate past my filter.  What if I try this?  None of this will have a lasting effect on me, my wife, our family.  If it was really so bad, how is it possible that I have been doing this for so long without any ill effects?  Isn't it natural?
Please feel free to add more. This is just a sampling from (not)our friend, the yetzer hara
Grateful for another sober day, Kol Tuv
PS he is not our friend when we fail, but definitely our friend when we succeed. (hamevin, yavin)
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