Hakolhevel wrote on 25 Jan 2021 14:32:

I curious why my post made you think of that?
I totally know how it feels. For me the biggest thing when telling someone faults is that I fear that I will get asked and confronted about why I didn't fix the issue sooner or why I continued to make the mistake.
The amazing thing was that when I spoke to our Rov about it, he didn't confront me about those things and we mostly spoke about how to move forward, what are the main issues etc. 

Where can I find Grant thread? Do I have to be let in to the BB forum? I'd probably enjoy it a lot. I think I tend to like Grant's stuff

Bt6475 wrote on 25 Jan 2021 14:48:

First of all, I am very honoured that your first post is on my thread.

Suffering for that long in marriage sounds draining and heart wrenching.

What do you find helps from the SA & 12 step stuff?
I think that I would feel too embarrased to do one in person (although that would probably only be the first little bit). Do you feel that it helps you significantly differently than the amazing chevra here?

change bochur wrote on 26 Jan 2021 00:06:

Chizuk from real people is very powerful. Whether through SA or other mehalchim, meeting real people is very therapeutic. 

The mehalech for SA - 12 steps is designed for addicts. Although many of the components are helpful to almost anyone, a non addict will possibly not benefit from some of the SA mentality as much as learning to take responsibility for his actions - through other mehalchim offered here on GYE and through therapists. You can look through the forums and find quite a bit of "back and forth" written about this sugya.

To subscribe to the balei batim forum, inform GYE that you are married and would like to join.

change bochur wrote on 25 Jan 2021 23:53:

You wrote it took you a while to get the courage to reply, and in #2 you said your not sure why. I have a possible reason
Its very Kedai for many reasons to get over to the BB section

change bochur wrote on 25 Jan 2021 23:37:

Yup, all of the above.
Like, u got filters? Where/when/how r u nichshal etc, just trying to help. Whatever u think

Hakolhevel wrote on 26 Jan 2021 02:18:

Ok that makes sense.

I have been given access to the BB section. Do you have a link or remember the title of the thread of Grant's that you were referring to?

thanks

Striving Avreich

YeshivaGuy wrote on 26 Jan 2021 20:17:

Thanks for the help.
3 people in the past couple day asked me about struggle and I am just lost for words (which isn't regular for me, I have worked on being able to articulate and be expressive a lot). I think it's partly that I have no idea how to talk about it. I haven't really talked about it other than with my psychologist (well and you guys now).
I'm really tired but I'll try write somethings now with more to come later.
Being tired is a HUGE trigger for me.
Also being bored late at night.
I have a phone, computer and ipad at home that my wife and I use. The phone's screen is recently broken but could search on google for pictures that the filter wouldn't take away. The ipad is currently whitelisted with installing apps disabled and BH is very safe. Since I was caught by my wife, she has the password to the computer which has covenant eyes on it. It's a mac so can't have techloq and we are going to switch to Gentch or Netspark soon and HHM helped me realize that I need to do that ASAP!!!
I have realized a whole bunch of things lately that I would love to share if the oilam is interested. Hopefully soon. But Again talking about these kinds of things in a productive way will IYH help/assist my recovery is challenging. 
Looking forward to working on it.

Dear Friends,

The is not only for striving, but for everyone.

Hash it out. Hash out your struggles.

There has been a forum called "chanukah Challenge" started by Reb Grant400. It is chmishah osor b'shvat tonight. We can regrow that forum and allow people to posts their stories. It is a good place without judgement to post your stories.

So whoever reads this post and have not yet posted your story, please post. Dont live in that dark story yourself. Bring it out. There are so many real people here that want to help you. So let us help you.



Hatzlacha dear guardyoureyes.com/forum/profile/my-profile/userid-15241" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/profile/my-profile/userid-15241" rel="nofollow" title="">Striving Avreich thanks for joining. You made the right choice for you and your family. You will see a change in your live. Mazel tov on 5 days. MAy hashem give you the strength to see it grow to even a bigger number.



Happy tu b'shvat



Eyes

1. We are interested in hearing your thoughts
2. Grants story is actually in the just having fun section. Although there are two other great ongoing stories in the BB section

Striving Avreich wrote on 27 Jan 2021 23:25:

As awkward as it is being able to talk (to safe responsible people) openly about sexuality is extremely beneficial. Learning to speak clinically about the issues and comfortably saying the words - pornography, masturbation, penis, erection, sex, etc, brings the "monsters" out of the closet and places them on the table. Now the issues can be calmly dissected and resolved. The panic of p***** and m****** and s**** handicaps us in our drive to break free. So chaver, continue discussing and b'ezras Hashem solving!

Hello, long time no update.
Boruch Hashem 58 days of no Pornography or Masturbation at all! Also, 55 days of no intentful suggestive content or touching myself.
It is emotional to write such a thing, because I don't remember the last time I went this long. Definitely not in 2 years, and before that not for over 10 years I think. That zechus goes to all of you Heilege Yiddin keeping this place active, being real, letting us knowing what is going, sharing you insights and showing us your tremendous gevuroh.

I owe a tremendous amount of gratitude and the fact that I have my marriage and life back to R' HHM and looking_to_improve for speaking with my on the phone and changing and willdoit for speaking with me on chat. Without you chevra I would not be able to makes changes in this area.

Thursday night and Motzei Shabbos I slipped a little. IYH I will write more about it tomorrow.

Well done! Keep going strong and inspiring us all!