I was gonna write that which was written in a deleted post.

Even if we are actually all addicts, there's a benefit in sharing the struggle together, and not sailing in the dark night. This gives us the comfort of normalcy that there's many similar bojo's trucking together

Is SA normal?
Is SSA (that I have slightly) normal?
Is low sex drive normal?

So I agree gye gives us a comfort level of "my normalcy"

But to say that I'm normal like many others therefore I'm not an addict is illogical.
The one is irrelevant to the other
(I did not say you are or not an addict)

Theres 1 question
Are you interested in recovery

Do you want to cut objectification (explained in "Free Towing" #3) out of practice in your life (even if the feelings may take longer or never to remove)?

Do you want to stop running to P&M outlets every 2 weeks (more or less)?

Do you want great GYE recovery, or would you rather suffer in marriage with these 'normalcies', and it doesn't get better then - sorry

I believe you are in "Recovery Trucking" with all us similar "addicts" and hope you have a great weekend 

Birshusi wrote on 20 Aug 1974 18:20:

By all means, no need to jump right in and heap a lable on. Gye offers a whole bunch of new tools and outlooks that you may not have tried before.  Go for it, keep on trucking, and see if you can lick this thing (at least mostly) once and for all. Not everybody who comes on this site has an addiction. (unless you include coffee and cell phones - then we all have an addiction). This thread with all of it's posts arent going anywhere. Many of them contain a lot of truths, since the topic of having an addiction is very close to the hearts of many people here. (I believe that reconizing that one has an addiction - If he does - is very important) But there is no reason to jump to that right away, there are other things to try first, and those other things might work! 
KUTGW
KOP
KOT
KOS
KOB
KIT
KOSG
sg
Gut shabbos

So many good things were said over the last bunch of posts. It all deserves consideration.

Good Shabbos.

markz wrote on 06 May 2016 19:44:

I sure am markz.

I sure am.

markz wrote on 06 May 2016 19:44:

Great post, Mark. Couldn't have said it better myself. That is the question, "Will you go to any lengths to achieve sobriety?" That question is different for everybody out there, for me it meant committing to SA and what it entails, for others it can mean getting a filter or making a call. Regardless, without that, I have not found any semblance of continual serenity in my life. It doesn't matter if one is an addict or not, what matters is that one is willing to do what HE, (not anybody else), needs to do to live life... erm... normally.

Heading back to yeshiva tonight. B'ezras Hashem I hope to hold on to the inspiration that I've gotten from GYE over Bein Hazmanim. I'm going to try to stay connected as much as possible, though I'm not sure how just yet. That'll probably be decided after I finally sit down with my rebbi to tell him about all this.

Hatzlacha to all!

My 2cents? Plan for your summer vacation today

I wanted to add, that my wife totally doesn't understand this whole gye thing and citified Asifa etc etc, and there's a chance your Mom doesn't really understand the Lust struggle from your perspective even if she can commiserate with you

WE ARE GONNA MISS YOU

I'm sure you can easily setup a weekly group meeting in Yeshiva :-) and send us the invite (if your Rosh Y allows)

I'm heading back tonight as well.

I generally don't have as hard of a time in yeshiva because of lack of access but I do need to stay connected. 

Keep up the great work and keep us posted.

Hatzlacha on the new zman and chavrusos.

I decided that it's not an avlah to come home every now and then to use the computer, even though it's the middle of the zman. My yeshiva is close enough to home to make this possible, and being that it's entirely for avodas Hashem, I paskened that it's muttar. And there's no chance I'm gonna fall in the short time I'm home, that I know for sure.

Being aware of my lusting self while in yeshiva is an interesting experience. On the one hand, the knowledge that I have people supporting me in my struggle makes it easier to fend off the loneliness that often triggers me. Meaning, even though I'm not on the forums, I know the oilam here is rooting for me and expecting me to do my best, and that is very comforting.

On the other hand, I've realized a couple of upsetting things about myself. One is that most of the time when I let my mind wander, I end up in the same place: a feeling of loneliness that quickly morphs into no good thoughts.

Also, there is a house next to yeshiva that has three windows that have been magnets for my eyes ever since I came to yeshiva. They are in direct view of the main hallway of the building, and whenever I walk through that area, I involuntarily and subconsciously move my eyes to look. It was shocking to me that I was so accustomed to looking in that direction that I now do it without thinking; it's an automatic reaction. I'm really upset about it.

I'm trying to figure out how to change this behavior. One idea I had is to do practice walks through that hallway in order to get used to not looking. I haven't done it yet and as of now it's my only idea.

Not a bad idea I think.  How about walking through with someone else? Does it help to have someone else to talk to and look at while you walk through? Or, get something in your mind to think about while you walk through.  Review Bameh Madlikin Ba'al Peh, a paragraph in Davening, think about a Rashi you learned.. whatever.  Finally, practice walking through the hallway with your eyes closed. Or use your binoculars to help you walk! You'll be so focused on not bumping into things, that as long as your feet keep moving, you should be great!

Or decide beforehand that looking doesn't do you any good.

I know....that's not much of a trick....my bad.

B'hatzlachah

thanks613 wrote on 13 May 2016 19:05:

These are good ideas, but I'm not sure it'll help. Even when my mind is in learning, it doesn't usually help because it's so ingrained in my subconscious movements to move my eyes in that direction.

It sounds crazy but that's how it is.

And the binoculars are in cheirem. I made a kabbalah not to touch them, and anyway I didn't bring them to yeshiva.

Birshusi

have you ever stopped in the hallway to watch the sights (as I did in the good-bad old days)

markz wrote on 13 May 2016 20:53:

Not only have I stopped in the hallway, I've gone outside to find a better view.

Why do you ask?