bear wrote on 29 Jan 2018 20:37:

I totally recommend it. Excellent idea.
Hatzlocha Rabba!

My Story - Tank

pg 97 "Many of us also, before going to sleep, surrender our lust again and ask to be kept free of it throughout the night. We discovered we had to surrender the entire self-subconscious included, for lust had permeated our entire being"

Pushing this surrender till 3am doesn't seem to work for some odd reason 

its nice to see the truck back
is karls AWOL or banished forever

i miss you on the chill spot it seems ieeyc has taken over and is doing agreat job

Rabbi A Twersky who should live and be well writes as follows - hits the nail over my head :ouch:

"We are all quite adept at diversion, at amusing ourselves one way or another, but many of us are unable to truly relax.

We entertain ourselves by reading, watching television, playing golf or cards, chatting with someone, listening to the radio or stereo, or in any of many other ways.

But to be entertained is to be diverted for that is what all these activities are: diversions.

By focusing our attention on these activities we divert our attention from other things, from everything, including ourselves.

When all those diversions are eliminated, we are left alone with ourselves, in direct contact with our human condition or conditions that trouble us and this is where the difficulty lies"...

I believe that I read that as well. It made a big impact on me. R Twersky says that he got his "self-esteem enlightenment" (and followed by a million books on it) from his inability to sit in a spa bathtub for 10 (or 5? don't remember) minutes. He says that his consent directing of a mental hospital and a bunch of other things was really just a distraction from himself. For him, it was easier to run a big hospital than it was to sit in a spa bathtub for 10 minutes.
I found it interesting that I would have no problem sitting in a bathtub for much more 10 minutes and not be busy at all... except with my thoughts of course. 
I don't think I was an ounce healthier than Dr. Twersky. 
My hunch is that this concept is much deeper than merely not watching YT videos or running a Mental hospital. Perhaps there are diversions that aren't physical. 

Haven't seen your thread for a while until now Mark. I felt my stomach lurch when I read your posts. Just going to second the many other fans in the bleachers over here and say that you're the man and that I owe a lot of gratitude to you. I hope you got yourself back on your two feet (or four wheels?), and I hope you keep in mind that if I can change your avatar I would put a picture of a nice big pick-up truck there (was that blue one a pick-up truck? Trying to remember). 

KOPUT
Shmira 

Ha.. wrong truck. meant tow truck...  
in that case
KOTT

"It is possible that, once relieved of the compulsion to act out our habit, we may feel cured and start coasting along with our TANK on EMPTY. But the same personality defects that energized our addiction are still with us and, unattended, will take their toll again, sooner or later.

Why are they still with us? Because they are us

Progressive victory over these defects, not their eradication, is the power of God at work in us.

What we really do battle against is not other people but our old natures, the negative force within us we can obey anytime we wish, the force that is always willing and able to wrong another. This is why our program must come to fruition in our daily living or there is no recovery"

That was from Pg 131 and is the story of my tank...

Markz wrote on 13 Feb 2018 04:44:

I have found that after a significant period of clean living the pull of the temptation has subdued considerably. It can raise its ugly head with a fury ONLY WHEN I don't nip the urges as they begin to reappear - if I ignore instead of dealing with them, they then linger and ultimately fester into a dynamic sinful filthy vacuum. 
Yikes!

I think you are saying the same thing. Mark quoted the word "unattended" which seems like the same as your "ONLY WHEN, I don't nip the urges..."

Hatzlucha

"It is possible that, once relieved of the compulsion to act out our habit, we may feel cured and start coasting along with our TANK on EMPTY. But the same personality defects that energized our addiction are still with us and, unattended, will take their toll again, sooner or later.



Why are they still with us? Because they are us



Progressive victory over these defects, not their eradication, is the power of God at work in us.



What we really do battle against is not other people but our old natures, the negative force within us we can obey anytime we wish, the force that is always willing and able to wrong another. This is why our program must come to fruition in our daily living or there is no recovery"



That was from Pg 131 and is the story of my tank...

 However the Free Lust Truck Towing company came to this conclusion, it should only lead to an even more inspirational story then (at least I believe) what has been till now.

Is Karl going to business meetings now?

I guess you can call it a work business meeting because this Sunday Karl is scheduled to meet Workingguy for the first time since joining gye

[Although we met once prior to gye at some party but I'm not good at remembering faces so it will be like a first time, although now with all our texts and calls he's not a random fake name guy either]

Oh and yes, on the agenda we'll be discussing about joining SA and the path to sobriety in general cos distractions and games aren't working for me. I don't think he's a therapist, but a friend in arms and has some common sense too

hi, it looks like youre doing great ,keep it up!

Sounds good. I hope thinks go well. 

I'm putting a bigger focus on life with inspiration from Rabbi Twersky who should be well, and it's a lifetime's work

One of the old time 12 steppers here shared what he's doing to get out of lusting and he listed for example
1. Helping the wife
2. Compiling his Gemara Shiur...

Im like "what has that to do with 12 steps? He must be drunk"
None of what he mentioned was anywhere in the white book

The answer is that our/my problem is not lust, but how to be "Living life to the MArX"

Any form of escape from life is escape, and את חטאי אני מזכיר היום בפרהסיא, escaping to post 30 posts a day with just-havin-fun was for me another form of escape from life.

Q: "Oh but you're a Tzadik, b/c you're posting and not masturbating now"
A: If life doesn't mean much and the only concern is if you masturbated today, please disregard this post

KOL!

Mark, I have felt that approach for years and PMed you on that.

You are an extremely capable person. Don't sell yourself short.

I am very excited for you!