Mazel tov!! Its a chizzuk to hear.

הטראק כמעט מתהפך

Been a good streak

Been having some slips, stronger than until now.

Trying to do my hishtadlus, by posting this, BEFORE the fact.

KOT!!!!

ineedchizuk wrote:


ואם זה לא התהפך הכל יתהפך לטוב!!!

ויקויים מה שנאמר ונהפך הוא

Deep, DD. :-) shkoiach.

Baruch Hashem I am still clean.

Had this spell. It FELT like I had to act out.

I kept entering searches that just might bring up what I didn't want to see. Kept telling myself 'just do it and get it over with'.

In between, I reached out to quite a few gye friends, davened, then posted here.

I don't know how I was able to pull myself away. But I'm very very thankful I did.

גם מאחורי הדברים הקשים ביותר, הוא שם, הוא שומע, והוא עוזר.

אלמלא הקב"ה עוזרו, אינו יכול לו.


Feels like I experienced a נס גלוי

WOW!!!!

SO GOMT!!!!!

I fell today.
Moving forward, I need to focus on now. Nothing in the world has any significance to me except for now.
I hope to be clean, and to be thankful for every moment that I am clean.
Surrender. That's a biggie for me. So much as I'd say it's impossible for me to fight it. Surrender to Hashem is a whole new concept I've learned here ,and I will need to reinforce that in my head.
I daven that I should be able to just move on, and not stay stuck.

Learning from the past to use for the next now, I identify a bit with Dov's nuclear reset button thing, but pashut pshat, stress, fear of rejection and perfectionism, is what led me down my yiush spiral.

You know R' Nachman's version of KOMT?
א קלאפ געכאפט, און וייטער געהאקט! !

sent you a pm earlier; did you get?

I got your pm, and I appreciate it, Cordy. Just not as quick as you to respond (which is why chat works better for me).
Hope you're okay.

ineedchizuk got a lot of chizuk from the following gye email after updating my 90 day chart. Perhaps you will too.


Hi ineedchizuk,

It seems Hashem loves your divine service too much to just let you be happy with your current situation. He often brings us to fall, just when we thought we had it all under control. This is so that we realize that without His help, without true humility in the knowlege that only He can help us, we cannot really succeed. He also wants us to keep taking our fences to a new level. He wants a higher level of purity from us, He wants our hearts.

Remember, the Yetzer Hara wants you to get DOWN about the fall, even more than he wanted you to fall. Once he gets you down, he OWNS you.

Being clean today (day 1) was as wonderful as being clean 2 days ago (day 114).

ODAAT! !!!!!!!!!!!!

dd wrote:


Tis da season!

Good point- Thanks

Let me go update my chart....

cordnoy wrote:


And that's one of the beautiful things about gye its always the season!!!

From October 2, 2014
ineedchizuk wrote:


Yankel's Back. I am here.
Forget sticking around. Come back!!