I still think im partly to blame for it.. If I would have clean thought through out the day I dont think this would happen...

And its just a bad feeling waking up and noticing seed has been wasted..

For the first thing, maybe your right that it could be avoided, shmiras ainayim for me is a constant struggle, I am very sick in that issue, so I don't have anything intelligant about that.

For the second thing, I think that maybe that feeling is the Yetzer Harah trying to get you down

Either way, great luck!!

For the passed two nights since posting, as I got into bed after saying shema, I said a quick kapitel tehilim and asked H' to protect me during the night...

clean for two days

You know that the sforim say that the more terrified you are about having a dirty dream tonight, the more likely you are to have one.

The assurance that Hashem will actually protect you after you saying Sh'ma and tehillim is actually far more valuable than the Sh'ma and the tehillim themselves, are! For, the fact that it calms a person down, removes their unfortunate focus on their porn memories, their penis, and their terror of sperm. No wonder many people in recovery report not having wet dreams in decades!

May Hashem help you relax and let Him take care of you completely....and relax.

Oh, and smile a lot more. You are a good guy!

Smiling !!! Still clean