I choose to use the bechirah that Hashem gave me, to allow - to finally allow - Him to put changes in me. To grant me free gifts of change on His schedule and in His way. I agree to take the steps necessary to live in a sane and useful way, for a change. And to accept the changes he puts in me and live with them one day at a time.

Dov,

I agree with you that no change happens unless Hashem wills it but my point is that I cannot make that change unless I really want it.  That includes asking for Hashem's help and doing the best I can from moment to moment.  You see I have been really troubled lately by the fact that I suffer from this addiction and why others are able to seemingly control themselves and not do this behavior.  After all, what is the difference between me and them?  Hormones? I do not believe that.  So it must be that others are able to make better decisions to control lust.  I just need to make those same decisions otherwise my failure not to is my own weakness in character. 

I do not get it. First you say that you are an addict. Then you wonder why non-addicts have an easier time with their lust.

What is the question?

Dov,

That is the question.  Why do I struggle with this addiction and others ie. non-addicts,  have no affinity for this behavior?  So I conclude that if two males have attraction for the opposite sex and one of them becomes obsessed with that attraction then it must be about control. 

chaimchuna, nice to see you back. Dov's off the forum for a while, he's taking a break, but you can reach him by pm if you want.

Any recommendations on how to work on arrogance and anger? I feel these are big reasons for falling into a lust cycle. Thanks

Mussar, chassidus, and self-mutilation. And lav davka in that order.
Joking aside, I wholly agree that those two factors are huge in bringing out lust.
The question is, what have you tried already and why do you find its not working for you?
Mottel

Mottel-great question you ask. I can read the most fiery mussar or even hear it being screamed out from chashiv rabeim and yet when challenged in the moment such as losing my temper, those words are not echoing in my ears. Could be I just need review it a few million times but am curious as to what people recommend to cause change. Your advice would be highly appreciated.

I haven't read the whole thread, so maybe this was already said.

When I realize that everything comes from Hashem, that He is in control of my circumstances, this goes a long way toward controlling my anger. Since I know that everything Hashem does is in my best interest, it's self-defeating to get angry with Him.

Now once I'm recognizing that everything comes from Hashem, everything I have is an unearned gift, what is there to be arrogant about?