you drooling scoundrels, i see u are online, its two min. to early mincha

so i didnt have time today to post
or say hi, save for this little michtav

drink a lechaim and have all us in mind,

and i can tell you the tale of durdaya and the seven dragonslayers another day

avi sweetsiepoo, your friend with the m-60 with na nach stickers all over the barrel

sweet avi,
please have us in mind when you go out in the hills of Tzfas with your white bekishe and white shtreimel and usher in Shabbos kodesh with your talmidim and chasidim. remember us when you smell the two haddassim in the silver besamim holder and when you make hamotzi on the yud bais challos. keep us in mind when you eat the farfel (keminhag habal shem tov) to signify that everything that happened this week is 'farfallen', past, history, and we live for now.....
have a sweet joyous and restful shabbos!

zem, thanks
just saw this post now, much needed to hear here

have much to post, maybe will do egged bus typing but im a workaholic so i gotta play it real careful

too much going on, but just like the millenium falcon flew out of the death star while flames licked its trasperasteel sidings, and they made it out, i'll make it out to
with surrender, and friends like you guys, and God most of all, the graces of God will come more the more i clean house

as for the pics:

that first pic was of this sabra looking mural of popeye in the tachana in beer sheva, about the only thing mutar to look at in that bus station

hey guys.
so i feel now like my recovery is in no way solid or lasting. Sa and all, it means almost gornisht. why? because i just started this program, barely worked it yet. Am i planning to act out? i dont think so. But do i have solid sobriety? not at all. its as precarious as can be.

I saw this idea in the 12&12, second step. true, i have something. but its not yet much. it's just a start.

it's like having a little first aid kit of recovery with me, and running headlong into rechov ben yehuda on a thursday night, and we and know what that's like, don't we.

soyou know what? it's okay, because that's where i'm holding. uh oh...wife walked in...will return.....till then, sing the pink panther tune...

so as i was saying...

originally i used the at risk kid do whatever you want mihalech. then the torah and chizzuk approach. it never really kept me sober for more than a week or two, until i got married and did it so intensely that i fried my brains with 10,000 volts of intensity-i got dry for a year, and then.... .
so then i put down the torah approach and went for Bards simcha truck. it helped, sure, the whole model of KOt is similar to surrender, except your'e driving forward instead of letting go. okay. well, it wasnt enuff for a true addict like me, no siree. this is because my problems were too heavy for his fleet of trucks to haul. i emailed bards on his pesel michah. he agreed with me completely. he said the truck works for ''lower level people''. i even spoke to battleworn, he agreed too.

so then i went for SA, the big guns. so i'm on the way. but now i am coming back to torah and chizzuk approach IN ADDITION to being in a program. i am a jew, arent i? better than that, i feel i can use all tools to help me. torah is designed to help me, the problem was i was too sick to use it. maybe now its just faintly begining to return. slowly, very slowly in fact. boruch H'.

and then i looked at my old dusty gye handbook, and right there in tool two it says about gaurding your eyes as a tool, so simple but so useful. i hope to implement this once again alongside everything else.

i cant do too much at once, that's for sure. but i can slowly become a jew again, and a human, and ever so slowly use the torah once again with the derech eretz training of AA. and that is something i cannot wait for, when the time is right.

for my own sanity i must add that i am not even ready yet for the torah approach, but i can see it. that is where i am today. like seeing the coast of seattle from the mayflower. it is there. i can begin to see it through the mist and fog and stormy waves and jumping tuna fish and dolphins. off in the distance. far away yet, but i can see it! halleluja.

sure is quiet today.....
    maybe just when i got online everyone had to go somewhere?
zem went to macy's, durdaya to a red sox game, bb is in second seder learning kadshim, yoisef h is using google earth to find bards, geshertzarmeod is taking the class to doctor toast for some heartburn, dov is in the middle of doing brain surgery on a obese precocious octopuss somewhere on fisherman's row, who else is missing?....oh yes, sturggle is shopping for an al haeish tomorrow in gan sacher, or is it on tuesday, what a poor israeli i am.....
      and then.....
because if...
i think therefore i am
i think, therefore i am insane-descartes after doing the first step

if only....
good night chevra, just me and my higher power now...

I am listening.... your never alone my friend.  Good points you have... too much will melt. Add ons are ok as long as you have a program.

Tah-dum, Tah-dum, Tah-dum da-dum duh-dum, da-dum da-dum (Bwraaaaaaaaaahp) -tuh-duh duh-dum

Tah-dum, Tah-dum, Tah-dum da-dum duh-dum, da-dum da-dum (Bwraaaaaaaaaahp) -tuh-duh duh-dum

Tah-dum, Tah-dum, Tah-dum da-dum duh-dum, da-dum da-dum (Bwraaaaaaaaaahp) -tuh-duh duh-dum

Tah-dum, Tah-dum, Tah-dum da-dum duh-dum, da-dum da-dum (Bwraaaaaaaaaahp) -tuh-duh duh-dum

How long do you think I can keep this up for crying out loud?

That's it, I'm going to hum the A-team song for a while.

P.S. Avi!

The pilgrims couldn't even see Seattle from the Mayflower, they couldn't even imagine that it existed!

Hint: The pilgrims came from the Atlantic Ocean...

Think Plymouth Rock, and save me some turkey and cranberry sauce!

The truck and Holy Torah are essential for all!

KOT and KIT!

E

PPS -I wear white socks, not red socks...

Hey there, just dropping in to wave hello. Sorry I haven't been more active, of late.

You're still awesome!

Yeah, maybe he is awesome....but he's a Red Sox fan.

A Red Sox fan.

C'mon.


:

the A-team, now that's more like it
i mean, how do you think i am more like, murdoc or mr .t? the truth is my last name starts with a t so guys in yeshiva would say ''aaa pitty da fool that mess wit da tee''

you know, forget this surrender business, maybe i should just do martial arts again and join the A team, and beat lust to death with my big black arms and mohawk, and turn my van into a motorized howitzer and blow away all the ____ in geulah

well, im really shaky as far as recovery goes. im on thin ice. but im happy, thank god. until i meet with sponsor and WORK more of these steps, i think im gonna need a cheulent of surrender AND suppression

to twist my arm a bit, and surrender the cherry on top

bec. i dont wanna _____

i better go to the bus,
i found a point of connection in my relationship with god, you see weve been out of touch for a few years
so today im gonna try only a bit in shmiras einayim, and that'll be the shidduch date today between me and god, our reconnection, only a bit.....

Sorry chief. Ive been inactive for a while. I was not at Dr Toast with the class! Just trying to figure out whether I need to be posting or not. Got some clarity from others by PM. Got back into it alittle and saw that you were here calling out for friends, and i was on vacation. :'( sorry.