Sorry, I am not authorized to answer to your knock.

squaters of all religions, lend me your ears,

i was feeling good today
then i began to feel in my mind like i was going nuts and that maggots were eating my brain and scorning me

i feel powerless to Hashem
i have tried to be bisimcha
i have talked to rbso, and davened

i thought i was doing real good inching up to my test on thur. when all of a sudden the ANXIETY has pinned me to the mat and has got me in a mount

i felt almost as if i was havingan anxiety attack (which feels like your dying)
i grabbed one of my anti-anxiety pills, swigged it down

im still kot-ing, and always was, but it seems like the yh has unprecedentedly jumped out from behind a rock and blown away layers of my truck with katyusha and T.O.W missles

my gunners have all suddenly gotten blown to smitherines in the sudden ambush, the 50. cal on the roof is sitting dormant

wheels on the truck are full of holes

smoke coming out from hood

the only survivor is me, the driver

i decided im just gonna be crazy and keep driving straight into the enemy

take a few of em' with me

i have watched enuff movies to know that right b4 the truck hits,
your'e supposed to roll out the door and roll five times behind
cover while the truck blows away the security outer perimiter line

then, just charge in, while bleeding from your arms, throwing grenades and spraying bullets
this is usually followed by a lust scene but NOT IN MY MOVIE!

FOR THE BACKGROUND MUSIC, I THINK I'LL USE THE SOUNDTRACK FROM THE ROCK, OR ROCKY

MY STUNT DOUBLE WILL BE CHEF BOYARDEE

you know, they say that 11:46 at night is a real auspicious time for not being answered....
maybe i should use this flare gun?
or my reflective blanket?
or tin whistle

HMMM
I'M NOT BEING ANSWERED
NO PROBLEM-IV'E ROUGHED IT OUT BEFORE
I'M A REAL BOY SCOUT
I KNOW HOW TO TIE KNOTS IN ELEVEN WAYS AND NOT GET OFF MY SHOE ON SHABBOS

I HAVE IN REAL LIFE SLEPT ON A BENCH IN THE COLD, DOWN IN A KKYL PARK IN MITPE RIMON
MY STOMACH ACIDS FROZE BUT IM STILL HERE TO TELL THE TALE

i was looking for at least a little support, but i see everyone is to busy brushing their teeth or tai-boxing

so i'll have to just simulate a short convo and then sign off:

TZADDIK90 "i'm frying out here, for some reason i was doing real great when all of a sudden the anxiety jumped me suddenly and started spooning out my spleen with an icecream scooper?"

FELLOW GYE "don't worry kid, youv'e made it till now, you'll survive this one too. You are the one who gets all hyped up about going in a blaze of glory-so here you are-
a simple jew, just doing this college degree bec. rabbanim told you to, and doing oyur hishtadlus for your final exam-so lif'um tza'arah agrah

and tov echad bitz'ar mimeah shelo bitza'ar-kot-got gets so much nachas from you, esp. when you feel like
your brain is being carved into teracotta souflette and you are still looking to hashem, and not acting out"

Wow, I just barely missed getting my noodles knocked out of me by that thai...

All I had to do is mention that Tzaddik90 is looking for people on his thread, and he ran for his life.

Thanks Tzaddik!

E

ANOTHER FAN SAYS "oh tzaddik, you are doing so great! you just dont realize it
do you remember how much Hashem loves you?
he loves you to pieces
and he Loooooooooves bnei torah, and people who are trying to do his will
and you ARE trying to be besimcha, and to act nice to your wife and kids
Wow, just when it's toughest, Hashem is so proud of you most
your'e under so much pressure and yet your'e trying to defuse it with emunah and chaverim and tefillos and its so special!

dont you think Hashem is so proud of you that you are trying so hard to KOT? everybody here loves you, but Hashem most. YOu can do it! make us proud, you are a true hero!"

Are you OK with that?

Or it just doesn't hit home at this moment?

E

PS G-d loves you tzaddik

durdayeee, is this the cavalry?

durdaya, why r u walking alone at night?
i told you it is not safe

the tzavah of the rebbe of pillypark

Not really, I'm just falling off my rocker from sheer exhaustion -but I keep on hearing a faint cry over the Harei Yehudah...

Haloooooooooooooo!

Haloooooooooooooo!

And I can't decide if it's coyotes or Tzaddik90 or a Breslover doing Chatzos...

So I'm just making sure that you're okay before I finally turn in.

E

chef durdee, its okay to turn in

the aliens have already ate my brain

life will no longer be the same

i have been programmed to tell you that we are taking over your world
please evacuate it within 24 hours thank you
__________
seriously, durdde, i was just looking for someone to recognize my plight
thank you mr. bodet
your beard is longer
and if u reaarange the letters ugh then that is what you owe me still
love
the austere chabad listener of the green caboodle

Ugh!

I recognize your plight.

I live some similar stuff too.

But we gotta go to sleep man... it's almost HALT time!

E

PS Do you really want a "ghu" for Mishloach Manos? That's what I get when I rearrange "ugh"

sorry I missed the fun! what ails you yungon?