guardureyes wrote on 16 Sep 2009 20:18:


Man, R' G., you are really persistent.
I guess thats how you got this far....


Only for good things!

k

Uri, that post was mindblowing. Thanks for being us mechazek before RH. If only I can ever feel even a tiny bit of that....
Tzomo Lecho Nafshi...

are you feeling better?

Yea much better thanks habib...
Still have a bit of a headache but overall...
I slept the whole night straight without waking up once (crazy!)
I think it's cause i slept holding my tehillim (idk if that's mutar,but i guess ill find out).
im really happy cause it means that ill be able to go see my therapist tonight.i was so worried id have to wait till next week.
i owe u an apology habib for not writing songs lately..
im just very tired and uninspired most of the time.and sick.
iy'h when the time is right...

i had an insight yesterday when davening mincha that id like to share.
i was having trouble concentrating(story of my life)
but i didnt beat myself up as i usually do
my relationship with Hashem is changing
it is now so very clear to me that He doesnt leave me for who ill be in 10 years or 5 or even in a month.
What kind of love is that?
He loves me for who I am now.
Me,with all my chesronos;add,lust addict,rebbelious,lazy,etc...(i could go onall day )
He doesn't want me to daven all of shmone esrei with crazy kavanah!!!!
Cause im not there yet!!!!!
That would be someone else's tefilla!
And He wants mine!
Mine,with my space in,space out,space in,space out....
Mine with my eyes drifting every once in a bit while i run to catch them...
Me with my laziness...
If I was perfect....
I wouldn't be me
And He wants me!!!!
DO you guys hears what im saying??!!!!!
This idea is earthshattering!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im bugginout here!!!
becomes crazier by the moment!!!
ON rosh hashana we dont tell Hashem "ok this year im gonna be perfect"
He doesnt want to hear that!!!!
He wants us to say "ok Hashem this is where im holding.and since i love You so so very much i am gonna do my best with what i got to give You my best"
How simple is this idea?!
And how beautiful!
Hashem!
I love you so much!!!!!

And i know You love me even more

-uri(flaky as ever)

URI! i'm so happy you're feeling better!
and i LOVE when your flaky- it's inspiring! and keeps me strong!

I want to just clarify...
I am very far from where i want to be....
In fact,I am not really anywhere.
I still seek out comforts when im needy...
I even did yesterday....
But the comforts are much more shallow now (they were always shallow,of course.but now i see their shallowness much clearer)
And I have a taste of what life with Hashem and reality and people can actually be.
But i have a long long way to go.
And there will be falls.
But it is worth it.
So I'm in.

So in man, so in...

Boker Tov!!

You're words are absolutely beautiful and full of emes.
I feel it!! All the way from wherever you are to wherever I am...

And you're last couple of posts put a huge smile on my face (ok, ok, and a little teary-eyed...)

How do I make a huge smiley here?!!

you rule, uri!

uh oh its just the 4 of us  with no parental supervision....
daddy and mommy went out to a wedding...
lets order burgers bar and make popcorn!!!!
and invite all our friends and watch scary movies...
(shiver...)
i hate scary movies...
hold me sturggle....

LOL!!

I'm tired... I think I'm gonna go back to sleep...

u cant.
itll be yichud i think.
come back sturggle...

I'm in too.  ;D

and Uri, your attitude counts so much in this struggle. so falling yesterday, as long as you pick yourself up today, is fine. and wanting to feel really close to Hashem is superfine- it's GRRRRRRRRRRREAT!
thanks for inspiring me all over again  ;D

and also- no apologies for not writing songs. write whenever you feel like writing. I'm happy with the songs i have 8)

Uri wrote on 17 Sep 2009 05:09:

it would be yichud just the four of us also.
and being alone with our computers is already semi-yichud  :D

sheesh u guys really know how to kill a party!

and this is exactly why i dont go on the girls threads anymore
guard please delete these posts when u come on...

Hey, was there a party without me ? :o :o I think I'm gonna bust it. Whats moms cell num, again?

_{Actually I'm just dying to join... We can always put up a mechitza habib  :D}