Yasher Koach to those who responded so brilliantly and encouragingly.Im going through a very trying time here,even though im only at 11 days.not 90.not 200.ELEVEN.what will day 90 be like??but i know what all will say.one day at a time.i just cant help but feel nervous.on the other hand,as someone so nicely told me:there are around 900000 seconds that i said no to the yetzer hara.900000!!if those were dollars i could retire .but we all know that dollars fall very short in comparison to nachas ruach of our creator.people die for much smaller,much more insignificant reason.let us live for the ultimate of reasons!!so my advice to all is:think of all the battles won.we are warriors!paint your faces!go out on the street and shout indian war cries.explain to your mother that u have not lost your mind,yet.officialy,at least.throw yourself an imaginary party and award ceremony.i know i am,as soon as this war is over.and then im going to take a vacation.a long vacation.an eternal vacation.to paradise.all expenses paid by G-d.people die for much smaller,much more insignificant reason.let us live for the ultimate of reasons.please join me my beloved friends-Uri

Uri,

You are the bestest! And that is a term I reserve only for Guard generally!!!!! I feel like a proud Mommy wantng to give you a big Mommy hug right now. :D

You are going through such a hard time on a personal level, yet still find the koach to encourage others with your battle cry!
Guys, oy-va-voy if we let this holy Uri fall!

And do not fear - day 11 is MUCH MUCH harder than day 20 or 30 or 40....it really does get easier if you have the patience to hold on.

WOW URI. you're light is really starting to SHINE!

aww you guys  :-[
mom!ur embarassing me  :-[  :D

bs"d

:D

Now you know you're a real son - my kids accuse me of the same all the time!!!!!

did i just get adopted without anyone telling me??
well i guess its good to have a virtual mom.my real mother doesnt know how to turn on the computer even (isnt she lucky)

im in serious need of chizuk pple!ive found books containing illicit material in my sisters room and im itching to read them.help!

Don't itch... it makes those mosquito bites worse!

Seriously, Uri, what exactly is the rush?
I'm in business, and one of the tactics business people use is to try to create a rush into activity... "on sale today only"... "limited time rebate" etc where the goal is to make people act fast, so that they don't think too much (and buy something they really don't need ...)
The YH is a great salesman, and he somehow convinces us that we need to act and fast... but its a bluff!
Push it off 'till tomorrow. It probably will still be there, and if not, there is plenty more where those came from (sigh!).

Love you!

kutan

kutan,
u are saving my life  :'( (tears of happiness and appreciation).thank you

Uri (JA) wrote on 27 Jul 2009 19:04:


Uri,
We are swimming together! YOU are saving MINE.
humbly,
kutan

bs"d

Hi Uri,

holy brother!

Yesterday i was reading a book (secular) which was completely tzanua - until i reached page 249 (or something like that). Just at that moment my wife came into the room, and i flicked to the end of the chapter without reading it. Baruch HaShem - saved by the bell!!! Now today... i got back to my book; and i was itching to read the stupid scene. Wife's not around. But i still didn't read it. HaShem helped me again.
I could go ahead right now and read it. But i won't b"H  . It's not worth it. It's not worth the blink of an eye. It's a distortion of the holy relationship that HaSHem meant for husband and wife to enjoy. It's against His will, against what He wanted sexuality to be. I'm not gonna encourage this distortion by reading this garbage.

I hope HaShem blesses you with strength to withstand and hold on. You must be a really holy neshomole for the y"h to give you such a hard time. You're already giving so much chizuk, gevalt what will it be when you will be like one of the veteran warriors here. 7up already uses terms for you that she had reserved for R'Guard! (I only get to do the dishes  )

Uri, we're all rooting for you!

chl wrote on 27 Jul 2009 19:15:


Chl, your point is great, and is another thing that keeps me going...
Their world is a total and complete
FAKE.
Delusion.
MIRAGE.

thats why people who have special neshamos CONNECT to GUI, almost like a magnet. Its like a breath of fresh air, of reality, of purpose.

7Up, I can relate to your post on the High upon finding GUI, and the inevitable drop. Happened to me too. For 2 months I could not stop smiling around the house.
My wife was concerned I was on drugs or seeing a psychiatrist and not telling here. Really. Its just the total ahavas yisroel and idealism here, and to boot a solution to my nagging clinging yh who I've never been able to shake off for too long WOW was I on a high.
And then it crashed for a while, and i was back to normal and back was my good old companion the yh. But even then, it wasn't like before. The steam was out of him (or is it a her). and bH I'm getting back up again, with the encouragement of people like Uri , but this time it is a much more stable high.
Internal peace and acceptance.

Whew. That said, I'd like to tell you 7 Up that you're a tremendous asset to us, and I'm sure glad Chl is able to do dishes so that you have more time to post.

Me... I just buy paper and send the bill to Him. its Shalom Bayis money.
k

Wow,when i go on this site i feel normal lol.here i am sitting checking the forum endlessly,acutely aware of the fact that my addiction has changed from lust to "guardureyes".im wondering what is wrong with me and that im hopeless.then i see these posts and i realize that i am indeed hopeless.but alone i am not  :D .just kidding.i think kutan the great had it right:its the ahavas yisrael and concern for ones fellow on this site that makes pple happy and succeed in overcoming their tayvas.no mussar.just loving encouragement.if this site doesnt bring the moshiach i dont know what will!

On another note,day 11 is drawing to an end and i feel great.tiny dangerous close call but the streak continues!every day is a story ontu itself.boy am i drama queen!just shows ive watched too many movies.oy!im not sure what did it.i was in an awful mood.but after some positive correspondence and a shower (i feel bad cause its the 9 days.but i went in really cause i was gross,then i ended up relaxing in the hot water).then i headed off to minyan (for the first time today  :-[).so now im feeling very good.regarding that book i mentioned,following some good advice from someone in a pm,i took the book to the edge of my town and set it on fire.first i ripped out all the dirty pages(i unfortunately knew exactly where they were),and i burnt them,followed by the rest of the book.i had an image of biur chametz over 3 years ago when i decided to shape up my ways and burn all my "chametz" along with my chametz.i thought at that moment that i was gonna be pure forever.now i am older and im aware that my y'h is my personal amalek.it keeps coming back for more.and i will keeping beating the chreft out of it!!-uri