Uri-
Your post made me really happy. While following your difficult days over the past week, I knew that you were doing your job by keeping up the fight even if you weren't "feeling it". Hashem rewarded you by allowing you this oppportunity to inspire yourself and others. Do not think that this was a chance occurence. I often go through periods of feeling that I am getting nowhere in my avodas hashem. This leaves me feeling very depressed. However, if I persist, I can expect to come out of it on a higher level than before. I have learned that periods of feeling down are actually opportunities for growth in Avoda, although they feel like the opposite. You have strengthened me by sharing your story. Thank You!

With love,
hoping

Holy holy Uri, you outdid yourself this time. This is by far the greatest and  most powerful form of Teshuva and Tefila! The Gemoroh says that the king Menasheh was such a bad rashah that he really couldn't do Teshuva according to the normal rules. But when he did teshuva ANYWAY, Hashem "dug a tunnel" for him to return through. In other words this kind of attitude - that I don't care about anything; I want Hashem or BUST, has the power to create a new metzius that didn't exist before.

In fact R' Tzadok (Tzdkas Hatzadik 46) says that this is the avodah of our generations (the last ones before Moshiach). He says that this is the depper meaning of "חוצפה יסגי" - that even when Hashem pushes us away, we still insist on coming close. That's THE way to bring Moshiach. It's thoroughly amazing to see this happening in such a perfect way!!!

Dearest Uri, all those guys that are learning their heads off in Yeshiva, getting ready for Rosh Hashonah, they're great - Hashem loves them - they're doing wonderful things, kol hakovod to them. But it's people like YOU that Moshiach has been waiting for. PEOPLE WHO FIND HASHEM IN THE DARKEST OF tHE DARK; PEOPLE WHO AFTER BEING ROBBED OF ALL THEIR KEDUSHA AND THROWN IN TO THE VERY DEPTHS OF TUMAH UNTIL THAY CAN'T EVEN GET THEMSELVES TO PUT ON TEFILIN, THEY JUST WON'T GIVE UP! THEY JUST WON'T BUDGE! THEY SAY  "no matter how hard you push,I will keep reaching for You.You cant get rid of me,not the yetzer hara not the satan,noone.I will not stop reaching for you to hold me"

I'm so full of awe and emotion that I poshut can't think straight anymore. .............

TrYiNg wrote on 06 Sep 2009 11:01:

hey are you blaming me?!?!?!?! 

now- uri, if mom thinks it's better if you don't post on our threads, maybe it's better if i don't post on yours- unless mom or someone else older or wiser than me tells me it's ok.

so this is goodbye for now. BUT- i think that you are such an amazing person. it's like Hashem sends the YH to target you davka because He knows how great you can be.
and your kabbalas shabbos, and your tefilla at the kotel prove that.
and really- Hashem never ever pushes us away. He wants our tefilos.
so when you hear that voice inside that's telling you not to daven, you tell him off, and tell him that habib said that he's a lowlife and a scoundrel to try to stop uri from davening.

I'm not a talmid chacham, so i don't have a dvar torah up my sleeve (although i must say that the ones posted here in the past few hours are some of the most powerful ones on techuva i have ever seen)

i think that i'm basically reiterating what everyone says, but that's only because we all see what you can't.

you are a good boy
you fight your YH
so he wins some
he loses more
and the more you struggle
the more you grow
the more you let Hashem into your life
the more you'll see Him around

the YH is really crafty, and sometimes we don't even see him coming, until he's already upon us and eating our raw neshama-flesh, like a wolf. but Hashem does see him, and He helps us- when we let Him.

Hatzlacha rabba

FINALLY! the computer's free and noone's in the room! I want to say so much! First of all, i thought of you so much uri from the second shabbos started, uri uri shir dabeiri..., i davened when i felt weak for you and everyone to be strong to make me strong!

i could not believe the chazzan story! it was unbelievable that hashem sent that to you!

every time you get up you make me smile! any time you fell you made me cry and every time you davened you lifted me closer to my abba in shamayim!

Thanks!

I will post in a bit.im in the middle of a few stuff.
i will jsut say for my sisters that its completely cool for you to post on my thread.with such bright sisters,how could i turn down your advice?
i am not posting in your threads for a bit because i am a flirt by nature (i know what youre thinking uch! those are your sisters dude!just shows how far an addict could go )
but yea id like for u guys to keep posting onmy thread as long as we keep it serious for the time being.
im still not sure where i stand on the issue,but mom has decided and kibbud av vaim is one of the big ten.

URI I DONT KNOW IF THIS HELPS

BUT...

I THINK I KNOW WHY YOU ARE ON THE YH's WANTED LIST


YOU ARE ONE SHTIKK NESHAMA!!!

YOU CAN WRITE WHAT PEOPLE FEEL MAYBE ON YOM KIPPUR

MAYBE BY NEILLAH


URI

HOLD ON LET THE NESHAMA GLOW!!!!!





GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IN ALL 64 CRAYOLA COLORS

b

wait did mom say it was ok for us too post here? cuz i listen to mom.
or is it your opinion that we can stay more on-topic on your thread as opposed to mine?
just asking?

she said u could post here as long as its on topic
why dont u email her about it?i see youve been going back and forth also about it

K i have so much to say both in response to the replies and just in general but i am really tired and i am heading to bed iy'h.hopefullyill pass out right away.
night everyone
-uri

LAYLAA TOVV

WITH URI SLEEPING

WE NEED ANEW CHAZZAN FOR MINCHA!!

Where I come from, that's the only kind of chazan I can keep up with! ;D

LOL!! ;D ;D

I went to shacharis again
its been a little easier the last few days thank G-d
i have a mroe complete schedule set up
a very smart psychologist i had contact with told me that until i move out of my house im not gonna get anywhere.
but where can i live?
i have no job,no money,no experience.
maybe ill let them listen to my songs
a had a long discussion with a friend last night about life.
we were discussing lifes ups and downs and how they take up our full view.
people compare our pain to a surgery to remove a cancer or something and then afterwards it feels better.
but its not comparison!!!!!
first of all,emotional pain is much harder to bear sometimes.
second of all,how long does that last until u feel better?a month?two months?a year even?
our pain has been going on too too long and its hard to see an end to it in sight.
our pain fills up our vision.blurred by tears.
right now im feeling okay,but honestly how long can it possibly last?
how long do we have to stay on this crazy roller coaster for?
wishing everyone a good day
-uri

And where does depression fit into it all?
I suffer pretty strongly from frequent depression.
Are we depressed because of our emptiness or does our depression make us feel empty?
And what can we do about it,practically?
Cause at least for me personally,its my number one cause of falling.
Any ideas?
-uri

take a walk...
grab a beer...
sound familiar?
maybe get together with some friends...
maybe count your blessings...
maybe count mine... (re:dov's post to coby in im about to fall)