Easy one

"To heck with me. What can I do for you?"...

habib613 wrote on 02 Sep 2009 19:46:


Shucks! I was about to cash in on those points. 

I'm going to have to divide the 1000 points between Habib and Me3. Five hundred each. Do you know what you can do with 500 GYE points?

- "Eat as much as you can" at the Sushi Bar over on 7Up's thread
- Free truck ride to Landau's Shtible in Bardichev's trucking truck
- A mention in the daily Chizuk e-mails

For 1000 points, Uri will play a song for you.

guard chill with that.
songs are cannot something i can dish out on demand.
if i try when im not in thatplace,they often come out pretty weak.
but i love you anyway,rebbe.
-uri

hmm how many pink gevaldigggg's
can you trade iin for 500 points?

Ok the 90 days are starting here and now
its 1 in the morning here in israel so today is day one with hashems help
im doing this for you mom
Hashem please give me the strength to succeed
the will to keep pushing
the love to keep giving
the courage to persevere
the friendships that support
the hugs that keep me going
the bravery to fight
the power to say no
the energy to keep moving
the heart to express
the inspiration to give
the internet connection to stay on the forum
and so on....

Hashem may it be your will that,if nothing else,let the korban that I am going to attempt to give serve as a kapora for all the tzaddikim on this forum and for all of klal yisrael.
This battle is for them.
Some fight wars to defend their brothers physically.
And some fight wars to defend their brothers spiritually.
May our fight and my attempt at 90 knock out the yetzer hara once and for all.
Kain Yehi Ratzon
Wish me luck my beloved friends
-uri

It's 1:04 AM Israel time. Guard is at his post. A blinding flash lights up the night. Guard jumps. Oh, it must be Uri. Hi Uri. Was that you?

yea im flashing my headlights outside your window,guard.i want to go out for a long drive with you.
well pick up a beer maybe even a cigar,sit in gan sacher and shmooze about life.how does that sound?

I'm already humming the bars of Uri's next song.

Ok the 90 days are starting here and now.....

OY, URI!
Yehi HaShem Eloikeini imchu, v'shetatzliach b'chol asher tifneh!

GO URI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT LIGHT IS FLASHING ALL THE WAY TO NY!

Uri, I'm glad to see you're going for the big 90. I think you can do it, but don't let it get you down if you fall. Just pick yourself and try again. Don't forget, HaShem marks us by our efforts much more than our results (which is the direct opposite of how we are marked in this world).

Thank you very much guys.
The only way i can do this is if you guys hold me up and do not let go.I cannot do this by myself.

Last night i was laying in bed about to go to sleep.I have not davened in 3 days.Yes,ive spoken to hashem once or twice but short and to the point.
In bed at that moment i suddenly became acutely and clearly aware that there is no way i can do this 90 days thing without G-d.
So I said Shema.
And i asked myself:why is my relationship with Hashem so completely on and off??How can i feel so close to Him one second,and the next ignore Him?!

The answer to that question maybe lies in what i discussed with my therapist:
Something in our youth causes us to lose trust in our mother and our house.
Our relationship with the world is an extension of our relationship with our mother.
With no trust,the world is quite scary.
Therefore,we all MUST build some sort of defense system.
(our addiction comes from us wanting to feel comfortable and loved,and not always have to be on the defense 24/7.its quite tiring.)
My defense system is running.
I run away from uncomfortability.
I run away from pressure.
I run away from friends who see something in me that I'm ashamed of.
I run away from people who notice that I'm a runner.
And naturally,I run away from G-d.
I run away becaused I am ashamed.Because I know I let Him down.Because I am afraid to face Him.Because I feel uncomfortable talking to Him.Because I feel that He is very demanding.

This is a very hard confession for me to make.
I'm still not sure what I can do to reverse this.
Obviously I have my theapist,but thats only once a week.
Hopefully with Hashem's help this issue will be dealt with along the way.
I'm so habituated in this escape that it's so so hard for me to change it.
I await any suggestions or insights on this.

With my therapists understanding of our block on the world,"Let go and let G-d" makes so much sense.We nee to let go of our defenses and trust in G-d and then the world will suddenly be a much mroe beautiful place.

Shachris anyone?

-uri

bs"d

beautiful and inspiring post!

Thank you!

sorrry. Don't understand.

I get the part that since we lost our trust in people we tend to develop some kind of defense system. True. But what does it have with running from gd?