What I mean is, words of chizuk won't help much for real addicts. They need more than just WORDS. They need ACTION. We need to ACT our way into a whole new way of thinking... Yes, some chizuk might keep you up for another few hours, maybe a day, but aren't you noticing a pattern? An addict needs either a good sex addiction therapist, like you have now, or a LIVE 12-Step group and a sponsor to work the steps into their life. And in many cases, an addict need BOTH of these. We can't break this addiction. It is far to strong. Will-power can't help addictions. Chizuk can't help either. Only Hashem can take it away, and He will do HIS part as soon as we do OURS.

CALL SHRAGA!!
CALL SA or SLAA in Israel and JOIN A LIVE GROUP.

What are you waiting for? For another thousand falls? For just the "right piece of chizuk"???

and tell him what?that i just mas**** four times?

Yes, YES and YESSSSS!!

What are you PAYING him for? To tell him you're all better now, or to show him how SICK you are?

We're dealing with an ILLNESS here. There's no room here for SHAME. Bring the disease out into the open with someone who can help you. Show him your TRUE self. Show him how CRAZY this addiction makes you act. He knows, he knows. Believe me, he knows.

Uri:Hello Rav Shlachter
Rav:SPeaking
Uri:Yea,so I just wanted to inform you that I spent the last day and night watching countless amounts of porn and masturbating
Rav:Very good.Uri.Thanks for sharing.
Uri:So what should I do now?
Rav:Well,we're meeting next monday so meanwhile stick in there.
Uri:K.
(Uri resumes porn and mas** marathon)
an hour later...
Uri:Yea hi Rav.I just wanted to let you that I can't stop.
Rav:Let go and let G-d.
Uri:K.
(Uri resumes porn and mas** marathon)
3 hours later...
Uri:So I think I just set an all time strak on **$@#.com for the most porn videos watched in one day.
Rav:Congratulations,Uri.I'll see you Monday.Now can you please stop calling me to inform me that you masturbated.I sort of am trying to work here.
Half hour later...
Uri:Rabbi I just can't stop looking at porn videos!
Rav:Uri.....
Uri:I've been living in one sexual fantasy after another for the past 15 hours!
Rav:Uri...
Uri:Why can't I stop masturbating!!!!
Rav:URI!
Uri:Yes?What?
Rav:I'm driving right now with my family.You're on speakerphone.
Pause....
Uri:How you doin Rebbetzin Shlachter?Pleased to meet you.Kids?Don't repeat anything I just said.Ever.

Uri wrote on 01 Sep 2009 09:09:


I'm laughing my head off! That's nuts! :D

LOL that's really funny. Maybe make a song out of that 

That's not how it would go in real life. Here is something more like it:

Uri:Hello Rav Shlachter
Rav:SPeaking
Uri:Yea,so I just wanted to inform you that I spent the last day and night watching countless amounts of porn and masturbating
Rav: Until we meet next, here is what I want you to do. 1) X 2) Y 3) Z
Uri: That makes sense. I'll do my best. You know, come to think of it, I think I'll go play a song on my guitar. Thank you!

Uri,
Listen to Guard. What have you got to lose? Worst comes to worst, you'll have this therapist rolling on the floor with tears of laughter coming from his eyes.

Just like me.

Its very healthy, you know, so I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

Just like me.

Uri, thanks for the hearty laugh. I usually have to wait till Dr. Bardichev wakes up, now that 7up is permanently behind the mechitza.

Very fondly yours,
Kutan

bs"d

Uri,

it broke my heart to read about your struggles. I hope you're doing better now. Maybe you can determine a course of action with your therapist what to do in a case like this. When online, reading people's threads always helps me.

May HaShem bless you to beat this!

OK
my thread has beomce wayy too depressing so i will share what happened to me last night.
i came home and immediately went to my room cause i didnt want to answer my mothers questions about why i wasnt in yeshiva.she had no idea that i was home.
after a bit,i got hungry,and i grabbed my pair of keys and took the car to get a bite to eat.
i returned a half hour later,satiated and with a smile on my face,only to see my brothers sitting on the couch looking really tense and scared.
they're eyes opened wide with shock when they saw me there.one went yelling "mommy!!"
i was like huh?
see,apparently my mother had went outside to take the car to the pharmacy and when she saw the car wasnt there,she was frightened.she was sure it was a theif that took the car.
so she called the cops.
and so it came to be that the entrance to my town was clogged up to who knows where because the cops were checking every car that went by.
we all had a good laugh afterwards though(after my mom had a drink).
anyway,that was my night last night(before the marathon started of course)
-uri

Uri, I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. Your pain comes across in your writing.

I'm also sorry I just read this now after you told me about it in the new songs thread. I've been really busy with work and haven't had time to read most of the posts.

Anyway, first, your last post of dialogue with the therapist is really funny. Laughter is healthy.

Second, if you binged, don't get depressed about it, that just leads you in a downward spiral. Tell the Y"H, "OK, I gave you the korban that you needed, but from now I'm giving myself to HaShem."

After the binge, when you're tired out and feeling sick and sorry for yourself, remind yourself that your falls when you worked on yourself were no where near this last fall. Use the binge to motivate you to battle against the Y"H because you reminded yourself how bad the alternative is (when you give up the battle just for a day or two). Realize that even when you act out when trying not to, you are doing better than you were doing before you found GYE or when you give up from fighting it completely. This should prove to you that trying and falling is better objectively and in HaShem's eyes than not trying at all. I know this from personal experience. I know what I'm saying.

You are right, you aren't "normal", but none of us at GYE are either. We are members of a "special" club, the club of addicts. We have an allergy to lust, and must try to get better, if that means calling in to Duvid Chaim, a therapist, or going to an SA meeting. Whatever it takes.

(By the way, what is a normal Yeshiva guy? You have no idea what your friends are doing in their private spaces. Don't they think you're "normal"? It's sad to think this, but maybe you're more the norm than you think and the lust-healthy Yeshiva guy is a rare breed.)

Uri, read this next part carefully. NO matter what you do, or see, or act out, or fall, we (your GYE family) will always be here for you, love you, and think you're a very special guy. You are no longer alone. I think all of us not only understand, but also identify first hand with what you're feeling, done, and written (I certainly do).

Your friend,
Momo

momo-i really love you man.youre a good guy

I called rav shlachter (sex addict therapist) and he gave me the following peice of advice.
He said i am probably really drained.I said yes.
He said so take a break.
Take a break and do something that you feel is very worthwhile.
Then when I finish,i can go back to whatever i was doing.
I said fine but how about one last time?
He said go for it.
He basically was saying that we cant think about not looking at porn ever again.We cant fight it head on.We just have to start leading more fulfilling lives as we are fighting the inside battle.
Every time in the past 16 hours or so that i told myself that i have to stop,i started getting really anxious.and i couldnt stop.but i think his point was very good.
So here I go.Im gonna try translating some parts of his book that have not yet been translated on the site.Well see how i am holding after.until i finish what im setting out to do,no porn and no mas***!!
-uri

btw guard he told me that i should only call him during his hotline hours or email him or wait till the meeting.i felt stupid and there was an awkward silence for a second,and then i was like "guard told me to!"Hes like oh.

I was rolling while reading your imaginary dialogue with the therapist.

I just wanted to say that we have been dealing with this adddiction for years. The recovery is bound to take more than a few weeks (Dov taught me that ). Lust is the symptom. Forget about how bad you are at fighting the symptom and follow the steps toward recovery.

With lots of love,

hopind

Uri, thanks for sharing the good news that at least his kids didn't hear anything  ;D...

When I told you to call him I assumed he had given you his hotline number and I wasn't sure what the times were, sorry. But you can use that FREE hotline to call him even every day, if you need to!

Stick with him, you'll go far fast, G-d willing. His approach may be hard to swallow for some, but he knows what he is doing and he understands you far better than you understand yourself (at this point).

Keep sharing your phone calls and meetings with him. I myself learn a lot from them!!

And please do share the translations you do too. (You remind me a lot of Yerachmiel from  the story).

uri, how is it that every time you post you make me laugh and cry at the same time?

a marathon? You must have needed a lot of comfort. you're in my tefillos.
and please don't come to college in america. even the frummest college would be a major lust trigger for many guys. believe me, please
hatzlacha!

oh, and too bad if you're curious about me. can't say cuz if i did there may be a chance someone would put two and two together and figure out who i am. and i cannot risk that. sorry. but don't worry. it wasn't all that bad, and Hashem knew what He was doing when He gave me that nisayon.

psst...
shhh...
im messing with the y'h big time...
i dont want him to overhear...
i made a deal with him that ill do a short project and then go right back to the porn
but i told him that were not going back till we finish
he forgot one thing..
im lazy as hell
and im gonna keep pushing this project off
90 days here i come!
just kidding
but really