Oh dear, TrYiNg.  I used to have those too when I was your age.

Do you like coffee?

Dov, I just discovered your post... its on the previous screen, but I wanted to find out why everyone was tzadikim, so I went back.
Funny, I think that your message is that an addict needs to view themselves as one, and considering themselves to be otherwise is for the spiritual detriment... but then you dish out tzadik semichas at the end!!! I guess you REALLY have a lev tov!
I see your point completely. Like one person said about R' Avigdor Miller, I don't agree with ___(whatever the issue was, I don't know)  but its hard to argue with someone who finishes shas every year....  so, its hard to argue with someone who is 11 + years sober!!!
Still, I'd like to speak it over with a 'gitte yid', as Rabeinu Bardichev calls them.

In any case, like you say, there are 70 ways. Each person has his own way. For people who ride the teshuva nefila roller coaster, there may be one way, and for a  temimisdeke yeshiva boy who may be nichshal from time to time, perhaps a different way.

One thing is for sure... EVERYONE benefits from learning how to stop lusting.  Question is how to go about it...

Dov, thank you again for your post. I cherish each and every one of them!

kutan.

kutan shel hachabura wrote on 13 Aug 2009 13:22:


ur kidding? I LIVE on it

Uri (JA) wrote on 13 Aug 2009 09:10:


Nu, what's so bad about a chassidishe yid having some ecstasy once in a while? Am I missing something?



( ;D just kidding ;D)

rebberebber=dov

chassidus IS ecstacy

yes many confuse it with kugel driving big Denalis wearing "sheefa tashen"

no no no this is just some of the side shows

chassidud IS ecstacy

It catapults a person to a level higher than the mundane

at that poin he or she is not pulled down by gravity!!

chassidus gives one the good feeling in accomplishing one role in life

that feeling can hit the YH further than #44 ever hit a kniedel

and there is no need to wait till October

see the tifers shloma in the EN

V.atta right now

hairpin turn at 75MPH!!!

b

Bardichev,
I am getting chest pains from laughter.  You gotta stop.  ;D

ykv talk about chest pains!!!

I have to get in shape It is almost simchas Torah and all those hakafos!!

I am the REAL MR.OCTOBER!!!

i'm loling while rolling on the floor right now :D :D :D

but seriously, Uri, i don't know what to tell you.
did you try deleting her number from your phone, deleting her email address from your computer, telling your family not to talk about her?
i know that the pull is really strong, but once you have no way of contacting her would that help at all?

or what if you just said that you would never be beyichud. make that your kabbala, and then you wont be able to do anything, right?

whatever you do- Hatzlacha rabba, and may Hashem give you the clarity to do what is right.

Mr. B, You definitely had your coffees today.

i MUST find a way to log onto GYE during the weekends in the country.

k

graddeh i went straight for my doctor peppr (sorry 7up)

i will soon have toe-ah -meh- hooo  (or HUH)


same thing hoo is with kishke

Dear Reb b:

A groisen dahnk tzu dier, rebbe. Tzu dier, in Fahr Vus? Mahne vahb ut gezogt tzu mier, ohz iz a gresser geshmack tzu leiben mit ehyer mahn (meer ), yeider yohr.
Whew! that was tough! What I was trying to say is that I owe you and GYE a lot, for something it never occurred to me would happen:
My wife told me a few days ago that life with me has become more pleasant over the past few months, especially. She said that I am not so darn serious all the time! Imaging that! Me serious! Haha ha. Anyhow, I obviously tend to the overserious side and I believe you more that anyone else here has helped me chill.
May the MeKorr of all Simcha (and appropriate chilling!) bless you in every way, rebbe!
NNSAMD!

Dov,

I must say I admire you greatly.and what I wanted you ask you for a long time was this question.All of us here,including myself try to be honest with ourselves and stare at our faults without flinching and do what we can to improve.

But you are the most brutally person here.You may not feel this way but to me, your courage is absolutely amazing.How most of us would try to block out the dark areas of our lives and try to flee from it or bury it or not deal with it head on and yet you bravely talk about all your struggles in a very open way and help alot of people with your brutally honest assessment of yourself.How do you do this?

I know I strive to see myself as I really am,with all the ugly things included,yet I am very far from having those pure clear lenses that have no rosy or colored tint to it at all,the ones you have, Dov, are crystal clear.I sometime fail both by underestimating or overestimating myself at different times  causing myself alot of grief

Dov,this honesty that you have is something that you should feel good about.You have earned it.It is your privilege.It is a badge of honor that you could carry and it will not harm you.and that is one most important thing I can learn from you.I try very hard to do this but very often I fall short  

Uri (JA) wrote on 13 Aug 2009 13:00:


Uri,

Was that meant for me?  ???

I don't know why no one has mentioned this but why not Marry the Girl?

If your in Love & she's Frum then why not?

It wont be the first or the last.

Ben Shmonei Esrei L'Chupah! you are Ripe, ready & may I say mature enough to get married.

E.L.

E. L.,
I wonder if you'd get shadchanus...
K

All money from shadchonus goes directly to GYE.

E.L.

Efshar Letaken wrote on 13 Aug 2009 18:10:

I was thinking the same thing. I just didn't have the guts to say so. I was afraid of being criticized.  Thanks E.L. for opening this up.
Even if you are not ready to get married now, but believe she is the girl for you, be careful not to burn your bridges.