Hi Uri.  8)

happy b-day man

I love ur songs!

i fell today and was gonna go to youtube to listen to some music. listened to your songs instead. thanks, uri...

I received special permission/request from the GYE rebbetzin to sign on for u letakain.
When she told me u fell i thought she was gonna start crying.
You girls are such a big part of her life,if you only knew...

I am not surprised that you fell.
You put up one of the most amazing fights I have ever seen.
More than once i commented to mom
"is this girl for real?!"
Trying to climb up the slippiest of mountains,
reaching for G-d the whole way through.
Crying out of a pure desire for holiness
for purity.
Your determination and courage have left me in awe.

But honestly,
you are about to get married,iy'h.
Stressful time,they say.
And finally getting a husband.
Intense stuff.
And don't forget.You just started with this therapist a short while ago.You didn't have the tools until recently.You just had a toy screwdriver.
But the amazing thing,my dear sister,is that you went 88 days with a toy screwdriver!!!!
You went above and beyond what I ever could have seen when u first came on.

We all go on streaks when we first join.
I went 18 days.Then I went crashing down.
I wished this journey could've been easier.
You were witness to much of my rollercoaster in the past few months.
But it's a pattern,sis.
A beautiful pattern.
It's hard to see when we're in the midst of it.
But it's true.
Ninety shminety!
You think 90 days is what it's all about?!
I am finally living a more lust-free life than i have lived in a long time.
And I am 1 day clean.
The therapy is where its at.
The DC calls
Reshaping your perspective on Hashem and life is where it's at.
Connecting with people is what it's about.
The whole ninety day thing is too stressful for me.
You're doing great

I dont know if u can read this as its in the mens section and i see that i havent been able to enter the womens section  ??? so if not guard please copy this to there.thanks.

All the best
From a very caring brother who has the utmost faith in his amazing sister
-uri

Beautiful Uri!

He's right.
Ignore 90 days.
We're all just 1 day clean like Uri.
Today.



Living Lust free!!

Thank you uri.

I received special permission/request from the GYE rebbetzin to sign on for u letakain.
When she told me u fell i thought she was gonna start crying.
You girls are such a big part of her life,if you only knew...

thanks mom. i feel horrible for dissapointing you...

I am not surprised that you fell.

me niether. it was building for such a long time...

You put up one of the most amazing fights I have ever seen.
More than once i commented to mom
"is this girl for real?!"
Trying to climb up the slippiest of mountains,
reaching for G-d the whole way through.
Crying out of a pure desire for holiness
for purity.
Your determination and courage have left me in awe.

thanks, thats really nice

But honestly,
you are about to get married,iy'h.
Stressful time,they say.
And finally getting a husband.
Intense stuff.
And don't forget.You just started with this therapist a short while ago.You didn't have the tools until recently.You just had a toy screwdriver.
But the amazing thing,my dear sister,is that you went 88 days with a toy screwdriver!!!!
You went above and beyond what I ever could have seen when u first came on.

We all go on streaks when we first join.
I went 18 days.Then I went crashing down.
I wished this journey could've been easier.
You were witness to much of my rollercoaster in the past few months.
But it's a pattern,sis.
A beautiful pattern.
It's hard to see when we're in the midst of it.
But it's true.
Ninety shminety!
You think 90 days is what it's all about?!
I am finally living a more lust-free life than i have lived in a long time.
And I am 1 day clean.
The therapy is where its at.
The DC calls
Reshaping your perspective on Hashem and life is where it's at.
Connecting with people is what it's about.
The whole ninety day thing is too stressful for me.
You're doing great

yeah, hving a time when i needed to make it till just put so much pressure on me.. not that i'm blaming it on that- i have only myself to blame

I dont know if u can read this as its in the mens section and i see that i havent been able to enter the womens section  ??? so if not guard please copy this to there.thanks.

All the best
From a very caring brother who has the utmost faith in his amazing sister
-uri
thanks for posting uri. i'm going to have to come back and read it some more later. i'm just numb now...
thanks so much. i know you really meant every word
letakain

i hear your pain letakain
i really do
mom wasn't crying because you fell
fell shmell
mom was crying because she knew how bad you must be feeling right now
everyone here could care less if u did 5 days or 90 days or 3 million days
we want you to be happy
with yourself
with life
that's all that matters to us
we are here holding your hand letakain
no matter what you do
no matter how many days
be well
-uri

btw-now is the best time to write a poem,if u feel that u can

p.s. 2 posts in one day.wow.
p.p.s. guard,is this your day of a practical joke?cause for some reason im blocked from the ezras nashim
shver.

Uri wrote on 05 Nov 2009 20:57:


Uri - great to hear from you.  Tell your shver not to give you any more trouble!   ;D

thanks uri.
it's means so much that you're all holding on to me and pulling me up, up, up.

letakain21 wrote on 05 Nov 2009 20:01:


You're not to blame.
Aren't you on the Duvid Chaim calls?
"We are not sinners!"
Hashem has given us an illness.
Simple as that.
You were handed today's fall.
He gave us this sickness because if we approach it correctly,it can lead us to the greates heights!!
Through the sickness!!!
From the sickness!
You're not a bad person.
Chas veshalom!
In fact,I can't imagine calling anyone on this forum "bad"
Struggling souls.
Yidden with such courage to face their deepest secrets and insecurities.
Bad?
The HOLIEST!!!!
OF THE HOLIEST!!
G-d is not angry at you for falling.
I can pretty much promise you that.
He's obssessed with you!!
The only person who's gonna be angry here is Rav Shlachter when he finds out about my little slip in our deal.
Shver.

Okay I also just realized i only have one star
i see how it is

anyway...
youve unleashed the monster mom.
once i start posting you know i cant stop

I wanted to add something.

I think the real turning point for me in not getting tortured by my falls was that i realized that my fall had become about falling or not falling.
And rav shlachter said STOP
Since when did life become about surviving?
Another day making it without acting out or going crazy?
I was always worried about one or the other
I was surviving
And life SUCKED
Because i wasn't able to just live life with all my heart and soul and everything i had
I wasnt able to relax
It's like i was always drowning and trying to keep my head above the water
But everyone knows that when u struggle ur much more prone to die.
The way to not drown is to just let go.
Let yourself sink.
And you'll naturally float back up.
By struggling,you're just wasting all of your energy.
And at that moment,I firmly decided(not resolved)that from then on,I would start living.
And the past week or so has been beautiful.
I can breathe in the air freely.
I spent half the afternoon rolling down hills. (cracked,I know)
A freedom I never thought I would have.
I have just started living.
Not surviving.
Living.
And it's beautiful.
Now when I act out (which incidentally is much less) I just go "ok now ill just have to work a little harder to connect to life again."
I don't have to go crazy.
My life is not dependant on acting out or not.
I'm just...
living

Man, remember the good ol days
when I didn't have to read Uri's 100 line posts.


JUST KIDDING!

Welcome back.

Good to see you're doing well.

Now about that song you owe us...........

Really, sweet Uri, I hope you are putting your recovery first, and keeping all of us second. I hope you'd hope the same for me, too. It helps me stay useful.  ;D
Sorry if I should have PM'd this, but it might help someone else, too, (besides me) so there!
(...so, I am putting the your recovery and the recovery of someone else ahead of your feelings and both after my feelings all for the sake of everybody else's recovery. I am not really sure if that made any sense, but it was fun to write!)
Stay  8),
Dov

Uri wrote on 05 Nov 2009 21:34:


I thought the number of stars had to do with the number of posts.  Shver!

Hi Uri, sorry about the 1 star and the blocking from the EN, it was a glitch in the program... You should be back to normal now...

P.S. You know how they talk about how "it's not the last drink, but the first sip" that pulls us back into the addiction? Well, that was clear here today with your first post to Letakein  ;D ... Hope you get stuck here on the forum again!