JIP, you made so much progress, and be'h you will keep growing and becoming closer to the RBSO. He took you this far. He will continue to carry you.

what's going on? lust? money? something else?
everyone here is itching to help you (i am pretty sure)
what is getting to you?

Thanks zemmy, its lust, money, identity & many other things in between & beyond, don't think u guys can really help besides for giving me a stage were to vent, hashem took me till here! Yes, but what did I gain if the same things from 15 years ago, still bother me same way 2day, why is hashem taking me on such a long ride

why ARE the same things that bothered u 15 yrs ago bothering u now?

sometimes we get irritated because of a lack of oxygen. we need to close our eyes and take a bunch of deep breaths.

the world isn't ending. a few positive choices, a little progress, a smile, a better attitude.

the world is sparkling for you jippy, take the sunglasses off.

No matter what you think of yourself you are a beautifull person. We all love you. Hashem is so proud of you just stop carriying your package alone. Let hashem do the work.
Hatzlacha

Teddy, that's the same exact question I'm asking, why are this things still bothering me, I was told than that all this stupid minor things will evaporate with the years, but now I'm coming to realize that even though I passed the 30th year mark, I'm still back there in the same old place and with all the other responsibilities its just too much and nothing I can do about it,
Sunglasses are by now built into my brain very tuff to take them off,thanks guys for ur chizak, dono anymore what's gana be I just freak out of what's gana be in 5 or 10 years from now, I shudder to think that all this problem are still gana be here and than what?????
That's why I just rather give up now,
Take care buddies

middos and attitudes don't change by us leaving them be.

you can start by instead of getting upset by little things, focus on ENJOYING the little things. drink a cup of cold water - it's so good thank you HaShem! my son got a good mark on his parsha quiz - THANK YOU HASHEM. look how pretty the snow is today - THANK YOU HASHEM

we cannot expect anything to happen if we don't initiate a change. which is hard, but if we open a small little hole, i forget the hebrew words but it's something like 'open for me an opening of a needlehole and i will open for you the entranceway to a ballroom' the ribono shel olom takes the little effort we made and multiplies it for us
all that's needed is some effort on our parts.
you definately want it enough because it is bothering you, and you are special enough to be bothered by it. so why not make a teeny tiny change? why give up and rather let urself live a sadder life when u could be so much happier just by working a little harder?

Teddy, thanks for ur time & effort, but listen to me i did change quite a bit over the last year & i did change my prospective too, i am just tired of hearing this same old again & again, u gota try a little harder, hang in there, things will improve, ive been hearing this now for years , so yes i thank hashem for all the good he did to me, but still i was picked for a task i can’t stand by & i just want him to take away all the pain, there is enough people on the world were to distribute the pain, i got my fair share i think, so why its me for so long, I am just too down to keep on trucking

47 weeks clean!!!!! isnt that called changed my ways??????

from the time i was born i never had a 'chance' to breathe.

my father was extremely physically and verbally abusive, as well skirting into the sexual department.
my mother was loving but neglectful and didn't take care of me.
i had no money or normal clothes or even proper food growing up.
three of my siblings are hearing impaired, and one of my siblings has severe ADHD
i have another sibling who is very sickly and delicate i am always worrying.
another of my siblings is anorexic.
two of my siblings died as babies, one when i was fifteen another two years ago.
my mother has been sick for a long time, in and out of hospitals.
the one person who ever told me they loved me in the world, my grandmother, passed away last year.
i no longer live at home, wander from home to home, crashing here for two weeks somewhere else for another month, somewhere else for a week....
i am a broke college student with a low-paying hard job.

if we are having a contest of who has pain in their lives. yes when i list it out like that i what a miserable existance.
but i am usually ok, i am usually happy.

i can scream out MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE
i can be weak
i can say i am tired of fighting, i am tired of all this.
sometimes i do.

we are allowed to feel.

feel what you are feeling. i just want you to know, as long as you have the thought "i am weak now but it will get better and i will feel better' you will be ok.
so get angry. get frustrated
gezunte heit, no sense ignoring feelings that are already there.

sometimes, as corny as this sounds, a good cry does wonders.
a nice tefila straight from the heart.
just screaming and howling in a locked room...

this is a moment of weakness. you will feel better.

jewinprogress wrote on 19 Dec 2010 19:51:


yes. be proud of yourself- that is UNBELIEVABLE GOOD FOR YOU

let yourself feel happy about this accomplish, about how amazing you are!!!

this sadness prevents you from feeling good about what you have done- perhaps this is intentional.

feel good about yourself. feel good.

Thanks teddy

Only hashem can understand the depth of your pain.

there is a guy on the forum named bardichev

he was 51 weeks clean

and bammmmmmo!!!!

what did he do?

cry?

yell??

stay down??

no he got up

visht zich dee nooz  dee hoizin

and kept on trucking!!!!!!!!!

(oh thats me)

What r u trying to say rebba

קיפ אן טראקקינג