Loynata, addiction is an illness, and the medicine required for recovery is working the tools of recovery, as written in the Handbooks.  Personally for me my illness had progressed to such a level that I needed to take a strong dose of medicine to get recovery.  I have heard mentioned at meetings how much does a person need to put into their program to get well, and was told to gauge it by my acting out.  I should put in as much time and effort into my recovery as I did into my acting out, and for me I put hours and hours of time and effort into my addiction, so consequently the first 15 tools were not enough to get me well on their own, I have to attend meetings and do therapy.  Even therapy on its own was not enough.  At the begining it can be hard to find the level that you require but if a person is honest with themselves and has the desire to get recovery they will start working the tools and increasing the dose till they acheive recovery.  As it so famously says in the AA Big Book:

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.

There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest".

To end, since I have started posting on the forum, my recovery has undergone a major overhaul, as I now practice the tools that I write about, I am so grateful that there is a forum where I can connect to recovery and help me in my Avodas Hashem.

Keep coming back .
Hatzlocho
London

London, your post brought tears to my eyes. You are one of the first people on this forum who actually refer to the handbooks that I prepared, in a serious and proffesional manner!

And your advice to Loynata is priceless. You clarified so beautifully exactly "how hard do we have to try?"

Thank you for posting here your amazing experience. (And I am delighted that it is helping you too!!)

Hello my fellow Yidden.

I am sorry that I have been absent on this holy forum for a little while, I have simply been busy.( I know that's a weak excuse!)

However, I am never too busyto help a fellow Yid in need. If I can be of any help to you LH, please contact me any time.

Chazak V'Ematz!

I haven't chat since Monday. I miss it terrible what can i do quickly? I'm afraid that i can fail soon. Anyone who can help me?

Feel free to contact me, and I am ready and willing to help you through this.

Chazak V'Ematz!

Make a neder for a week that before you chat inappropriately, you will first take a 10 minute walk, post on the forum, read 10 Chizuk e-mails from the archives and give $10 to Tzedaka. Then you may chat...

P.S. Get in touch with mevakesh, I believe he can help you better than most people!

i agree with guard! get in touch with mevakesh! do it soon! dont delay anymore! speak to him on the phone! please, please.he is the one who can help you.

BH nothing happened bad yet .i did not go into chats. I see all your ideas Guard but what are you saying that will help me? I once made a neder i will give tzeddukah like $150-200 if im doing things wrong but i owed alot of money there sorry to say.
I see it helped me by posting it here Bh and be a part of a group responsiblity that can help iy"h. I feel its working now better . I hope so.

NOT after, BEFORE doing it...

See the GYE handbook, tool #3.

Its says if you fall then give Tzedukah . Isn't after you fell already. I  find i'm waisting alot of time here. I know its better then waisting it C'v in bad sites but i have to work also. If i hang out here too much . I'm feeling not accomplished. I got to make a living.

1) yes, the tzedaka part is mentioned indeed "after" in the booklet, but there are other ideas there and in the links provided that mention the idea of "BEFORE" as well. Tzedaka might be used before also.

2) Yes, please DO go make a living. Just remember, as much time as we spent on our addiction - we have to be willing to spend on recovery.

Efshar Litaken writes to Barditchev on the forum: 

As I read up more about your story, on April 20 you write "Is this normal? Is it normal that I keep on checking GUE all day?" I have to tell you that I have lost or not made lots of money so far this week because I can't get off GYE. and because my work is based on hourly fee, I didnt get more then a total of 4 hrs. of work done this week. but its ok because,

A. I have spent just as much time in the past loosing money to worthless dirt & garbage stuck on or "In" the Yetser Horas "WEB" or "NET". So I hope Its a way of Teshuvas Hamishkol spending time on just the opposite. like Reb Shlomo would say. Holy of Holy, Sweet of the Sweet, Deeper then Deep! And,

B. Its Hashem that gives parnoseh not work. (as long as your for real) so we have to focus first on what we will be taking with us in the world to come & only after that can we bother with the short time we are down here.

Ashrecho Yisroel

Is the tzedukah before a reason not to go foward cause its costing us money? So it an incentive to keep back? Very good idea if we keep it . I made up to say tehilim if i go bad but this is all the next day after i go to mikva so i feel clean and start the struggle again.

It is not because it is costing us money. It is because we are doing a mitzvah and therefore we are forming an eternal bond with Melech Malchei hamelachim. The same is with learning Torah and saying Tehilim BEFORE. One is tapping into itarusa d'letata, itarusa d'leila i.e. an awakening from below will cause an awakening from Above).

As another member once wrote in the forum, you are not wasting time in this site. Just ask the Y'H if he wants you to be reading this forum or the rest of what this Tahor site has to offer. We are dealing here with TRUE AND LITERAL PIKUACH NEFESH.
YOUR nefesh, mine, and those of all of us here now and of any future members. 

sometimes I feel i hang out here too much

why did i never ask myself this question when iwas feeding my TAAVAS??? hmmm

ELLA MAI ? (MIT DE GRUBBER FINGER) VER FREGT DI KASHYA VER ? DE YETZER HARA ALAYN!!!

(sorry for the yiddish me and Reb LOYNATA farshtayin zich)

mit anivis in freilichkite
bardichev

bardichev wrote on 04 Jun 2009 23:34:



Bardichev,
Di Binst di besteh.
Be'emes.
k