Boruch Hashem, I didn't have any nisyonos shabbos afternoon, didn't have any falls over the off shabbos.

Had some urges in the past few days to m, didn't give on.

Hero!!!

Wow!!!
Kudos to you!!
What a kidush hashem you are making!!
Keep it up!!

I had a very strong urge yesterday, battled and stood strong for a while, but eventually give in and m'd,

I know this has been mentioned before but might be good to repeat.
HHM told me that a person came to the steipler struggling in kedusha. The Stiepler said he wants to kiss the hands of someone who held back even only sometimes. The fact that you were able to fight means a lot! Be proud of the fight you put up and take that encouragement to fight (and be"h win) the next battle!
Chazak V'amatz!

clean since then

As i've been learning recently about how many people struggle with these things and how normal it is, its begun to dawn on me...
that my struggles with kedusha might just be the most normal part of me.

Yesterday I was m'ing in the shower.
I felt like I really wanted to be doing it, and at the same time I wanted to stop, but it was too hard
iyh50 was on the phone with me, trying to be machazek me and help me stop. I was continuing the whole time he was talking, it felt too hard to stop, even though I knew everything he was saying was true, that it wasn't worth it & that I really didn't want to give in.
Then I told myself that even if I feel like I really want to give in and it feels too hard too fight back, I can pause for a minute, and continue afterwards if I feel like I still need to.
I stopped for a minute and didn't continue.
Boruch Hashem I didn't come to mz"'l.
Sat down to a seudas mitzvah afterwards.

Wow! Now that's a real win. I would tell you to celebrate but you did already.

Hatzlacha Raba and Keep Trucking!

stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 10 Dec 2024 23:16:

The heck with it. I say celebrate again!

I was in the bathroom today and started having a really strong urge to m.
It was a hard battle, I wanted to give in, but I stayed strong and didn't.

the warrior heroe of GYE

M'd in the shower for two hours.

All it took was that one fall a week and a half ago,and now the struggle is 100 times harder.

oy.......... do i feel for you, brother....

Here's a hug.........