This is a difficult letter to write, but it is even harder to stay silent. I am a bochur in a typical, mainstream yeshiva, and I believe there is a significant crisis quietly affecting many young men like me. The challenges in kedusha that we face daily are overwhelming, yet they remain largely undiscussed and, as a result, unmanaged. Many of us feel alone in this struggle, wondering if we’re the only ones facing these difficulties. I am certain I’m not alone in thinking that something urgently needs to change.

As it is, most yeshivos only have a handful of sefarim on the topic of kedusha, and they often lack the openness and guidance needed to address the real struggles contemporary bochurim face. Simply having sefarim and books available isn’t enough. Many young men feel ashamed or isolated, questioning whether they are somehow flawed for experiencing these challenges. Without proper education or someone to talk to, curiosity can drive boys to seek out information from sources that do more harm than good. Without guidance, some might feel lost, powerless, and unsure of where to turn.

Speaking as a bochur struggling along with countless others, I believe it is time for yeshivos to take a more active role in addressing these challenges openly and maturely. It’s not enough to hope that we will “figure it out” or to provide general advice without clear, practical guidance. Rebbeim or educators should talk to students about kedusha struggles in a way that acknowledges the normalcy of the struggle while also encouraging responsible and Torah-aligned ways to cope. If rebbeim feel uncomfortable or unprepared for this, perhaps the answer is to bring in professionals who specialize in this area and who can discuss it with sensitivity and understanding.

Imagine the impact if bochurim knew that they are not alone, that their struggles are normal, and that there is a healthy, Torah-based way to approach these challenges. Such an approach would empower us to deal with our struggles, reduce the crushing feelings of shame and isolation, and encourage us to build our lives on a foundation of kedusha, confidence, and resilience.

This might not be an easy conversation to have, but it is necessary. It’s time for yeshivos to act and acknowledge this pressing issue rather than ignoring it or expecting students to “just manage.” My generation is facing challenges unlike any before, with pressures that are amplified and access to information that can lead in dangerous directions.

With hope and encouragement for change,

A Concerned Yeshiva Bochur