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TOPIC: triggers 3160 Views

Re: triggers 08 Dec 2009 11:16 #33157

the.guard Current streak: 805 days OFFLINE Moderator Posts: 6438 Karma: 138	i thought of you too ovadia me2! :D
	Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest. Last Edit: by beautifull-shmily.

Re: triggers 08 Dec 2009 14:37 #33187

Eye.nonymous
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ovadia wrote on 08 Dec 2009 11:14:

The message of Ovadia Hanovi is " By resisting the external influences, we not only protect ourselves but we can rise to tremendous heights - in other words we rise inversely proportionately to our surroundings" Guys, as Dov said so well, HaShem wants us to maximise our own potential and it seems that we can really come close to Him, not despite but as a result of our situations.
My Tefila is "Please please HaShem, let us help each other come close to You"
BeAhava to you all.

Very nice!

--Eye.

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Re: triggers 10 Dec 2009 14:34 #33849

buzi
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Chevra, i am posting this mainly just to get everything out of my system. I know that you guys are listening and that really helps.

This morning during da'avening I felt it again. That feeling You know, its the end of a long week. There are so many decisions to be made all the time, and I feel tense and emotionally drained. I feel like a just want to relax, switch off a little. Now I know that this time PG I am not going to fall. I don’t want to give up (yet), but the feeling of wanting to switch off does include Ruchniyos as well. Ok I plod on, da’avening, learning. Shabbos etc but my body /soul just wants time out. So browsing the internet etc is a good way to relax !!!??

The thing which embarrasses me most about this post is that I know that what I really have to do is "just" calm down and somehow relax, but is it so easy? Anyway as I said, just posting this is therapeutic as well.

Thanks for giving me the oportunity to express myself

Last Edit: by moshe1015.

Re: triggers 10 Dec 2009 15:58 #33876

Eye.nonymous OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2696 Karma: 15	Sometimes the attitude is enough. But sometimes you've got to get up and just DO SOMETHING different. Get involved in something that will take your mind off it. But think that you are doing it because you want to, not because YOU'RE TRYING NOT TO LUST. I think that might help.
	Visit me at Eye.nonymous official countAnd also check out Additional Tools for recovery Last Edit: by china.

Re: triggers 10 Dec 2009 17:07 #33887

sci1977 Current streak: 438 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 895 Karma: 0	Between changing your attitude and finding things to do, it helps a ton. I have not had one second where I thought I could slip or fall just by doing those two things. Keep going!!!
	Last Edit: by catapult1!.

Re: triggers 13 Dec 2009 09:11 #34274

buzi OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 3 Karma: 0	Thanks guys. . B"H I am still going.
	Last Edit: by Yeshayahu 41:6.

Re: triggers 14 Dec 2009 17:10 #34614

Eye.nonymous OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2696 Karma: 15	Keep up the good work!
	Visit me at Eye.nonymous official countAnd also check out Additional Tools for recovery Last Edit: by mendy+live36.

Re: triggers 14 Dec 2009 22:30 #34713

Kollel Guy

ovadia wrote on 03 Dec 2009 13:48:

Today I suddenly got "the feeling" which I know is the beginning of a fall c"v. Since i joined the forum I am trying very hard not to just give up and give in, so I think a lot about what triggers off the "attacks". So I thought that if at the beginning I immedeatly identify what triggered it and I post that feeling here, then maybe someone will identify with it and help me out.
At that point I felt the feeling and I could hear that voice saying "What the...its just too complicated !" frustration ! and then I realized what happens: I lose focus. All the Chizuk emails, all the posting just begins to fade and I disorientate. You know the feeling when sometimes you stare at something and after a while you become glassy eyed - that is the feeling inside me - I lose touch with everything ...and then I let go.
Wel,l first of all just writing this has put me back in touch for the time being. And also I suppose that the stuggle is to keep the Seychel ahead of the Laiv, and this causes me to lose my head.
Does anyone out there know what I am talking about ?

Not the physical parts, like the glassy-eyed or dizzy thing, but the thought process does sound familiar. I think the first thing you should do is read the handbook from cover to cover and find out where you are and what you need. 2nd I found that if you pinpoint the times which it's most likely to happen (unless your an 'every-day'er), you can be prepared, and not let the triggers surprise you.
But the solution is not to outsmart the triggers by avoiding them. You can run but you can't hide. Ultimately you will experience a trigger and will have to learn to deal with it. These techniques are just in the meantime. You have to make a well structured plan for yourself if you want to really beat this thing. Remember, even if you manage to escape for now, you don't want it to pop up again c"v when your 32 with a bunch of kids.

Last Edit: 15 Dec 2009 21:58 by yakov12751.

Re: triggers 15 Dec 2009 20:06 #35009

Eye.nonymous OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2696 Karma: 15	How are you doing Ovadia?
	Visit me at Eye.nonymous official countAnd also check out Additional Tools for recovery Last Edit: by anymsmss.

Re: triggers 17 Dec 2009 07:40 #35368

buzi
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Eye. Thanks for your concern. I am hanging on. So far so good.

I read what you wrote in todays Chizuk email, and I identified with it a lot.

"I don't have such a big problem. I just have a lot of trouble controlling my eyes on the street. But po** and mast** I just slip up on once in while, and it's really not my fault because I'm trying so hard to overcome it."

I've discovered, first of all, that the po** and mast** was actually more frequent than I realized, and that there were some major underlying issues fueling these two behaviors. I feel like I'm in a much healthier place now. I have uncovered frustration, worries, tension, depressing thoughts, and I'm doing fairly well at warding them off. I'm trying to focus on positive thinking and on LIVING more and more."

Sometimes (my Y"H tells me) I feel that this whole thing is just blown up. After all I never stayed stayed up late at night watching movies etc !!! Just a little bit of m.. !! Just a shame that I could not control myself when I wanted to. Right !! Especially now that I have been clean for three weeks and it the problem seems even smaller.

Only a very tiny voice tells me that if it is no big deal, then why did I fall every time that I had a chance to and I know that if not for the constant contact wih GYE then I would not stand a chance.

By the way I would appreciate if you would give me some tips on how you ward off tension and frustration. Thanks

Last Edit: by gitty6897.

Re: triggers 17 Dec 2009 09:45 #35391

the.guard Current streak: 805 days OFFLINE Moderator Posts: 6438 Karma: 138	ovadia wrote on 17 Dec 2009 07:40: By the way I would appreciate if you would give me some tips on how you ward off tension and frustration. Thanks Read through Chizuk e-mail #478 on this page - called "Dealing with Stress"
	Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest. Last Edit: by yossi goldstein.

Re: triggers 17 Dec 2009 13:29 #35429

Eye.nonymous
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ovadia wrote on 17 Dec 2009 07:40:

By the way I would appreciate if you would give me some tips on how you ward off tension and frustration. Thanks

I think part of it is...

When you realize that the depressing or frustrating thoughts don't really have any substance to them--it's usually just the yeitzer hara trying to get you all worked up--then it's easier to ignore them.

Not always EASY, but generally much easier.

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Last Edit: by person1111.

Re: triggers 17 Dec 2009 13:34 #35433

imtrying25
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My way of dealing with tension or fusttration is; i tell myself noone ever in the history of the world ever gained from getting frustrated or nervous. Although its not so conventional it seems to usually work for me. Actually i just had a story last night. Crazy one at that. And i started to feel the tension rising and the nervousness but i kept onn repeating to myself, What will i gain out of getting nervous. Noone ever gained from it. SO i just kept come and enjoyed the ride.

Last Edit: by a***t**.

Re: triggers 17 Dec 2009 20:08 #35532

the.guard
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imtrying25 wrote on 17 Dec 2009 13:34:

Actually i just had a story last night. Crazy one at that. And i started to feel the tension rising and the nervousness but i kept onn repeating to myself, What will i gain out of getting nervous. Noone ever gained from it. SO i just kept come and enjoyed the ride.

Oh, was that you who got on the wrong bus and whose wife was making a fuss? I thought I saw someone who looked like Imtrying25!

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.

Last Edit: by mamme.

Re: triggers 18 Dec 2009 01:18 #35650

imtrying25 Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3010 Karma: 2	Very Funny Guard. GUARD IS THE MAN, GUARD IS THE MAN GUARD IS THE MAN BUT 90 DAYS............... :D ;D
	Last Edit: by 123tzvi.