Hi everyone,
I am very new to the family, and I just started the 90 days yesterday. Today I suddenly got "the feeling" which I know is the beginning of a fall c"v. Since i joined the forum I am trying very hard not to just give up and give in, so I think a lot about what triggers off the "attacks". So I thought that if at the beginning I immedeatly identify what triggered it and I post that feeling here, then maybe someone will identify with it and help me out.
I also hope that this will be benificial to anyone else who is trying to pinpoint the triggers.
Now what happened just before, is that for some reason (Satan!) after I opened my 90 days account I did not receive the email confirming it, and when I logged in I got the message that there had been an error. After trying clicking here and there I emailed Guard who replied but I still wasn't able to.
At that point I felt the feeling   and I could hear that voice saying "What the...its just too complicated !" frustration ! and then I realized what happens: I lose focus. All the Chizuk emails, all the posting just begins to fade and I disorientate. You know the feeling when sometimes you stare at something and after a while you become glassy eyed - that is the feeling inside me - I lose touch with everything ...and then I let go.
Wel,l first of all just writing this has put me back in touch for the time being. And also I suppose that the stuggle is to keep the Seychel ahead of the Laiv, and this causes me to lose my head.
Does anyone out there know what I am talking about ?

Not really.
The struggle is to keep the head from controlling the heart.
Also,there are no such things as triggers.
WE are the triggers.

Uri, your words are deep and beautiful, but a little too profound for a newcomer. Can you elaborate on these truths please (for me too)?

Ya im not sure what you mean by that. Sounds too deep for my heart and head to understand....

-Yiddle

Head is the round ball shaped thing on top of your body
Heart is somewhere in middle of the chest.
Trigger is that curved thingy on a gun that when you pull back it makes the bullet come out.

There. That should clear up all the confusion.

OVADIA TZADDIK

THE FIRST MONTH YOU WILL BE LITERALLY CLIBING A STRAIGHT WALL

RAED THE FORUM

POST AWAY

READ BARDICHEVS BATTLE

THERE IS ALOT ABOUT TRIGGERS THERE


USE TACTICS

IF YOU SEE A TRIGGER BIGHT YOUR TOUNGE HARD CURL YOUR TOES

IF YOU ARE EXPECTING ATRIGGER 9SHOPPING ,BANK.CO-WORKER) SMUDGE YOUR GLASSES

I KNOW IT SOUNDS CORNY

BUT IT WORKS

HELLO THIS IS "HARD WORK" AND TIME CONSUMING

IF IT WERE EASY WE WOULD HAVE NOT BECOME ADDICTED TO SHMUTS IN THE FIRST PLACE

LAST BUT MOST IMPORTANT

LEARN HOW TO NOT REACT TO TRIGGERS

MEANING YOU TELL YOURSELF YES SHE IS A TRIGGER YES SHE IS PRETTY ETC, BUT BUT..

"I WILL NOT ACT ON IT'

I CALL THAT "KEEP ON TRUCKIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHAZAK VE-EMATZ

WE ARE FIGHTING ALONG WITH YOU

WE ARE ALL IN THE SAME BATTLE SAME BRIGADE

IM THE GUY WITH THE 3-D GLASSES HOLDING A BOTTLE OF WOODFORD(VERY YUMMY SCHNAPPS)

bardichev

Ovadia (and everyone else),

I apologize for my depth.I am a very deep person and often get lost in my own wisdom.

First thing we absolutely must know:
Our addiction does not come from a "higher than average" sex drive.
That's garbage.
Our need for sex and lust is just that.A deeper need.
When we are tempted to act out,we must understand that this is a reflection and a revelation of what is going on in our hearts.A need for security.For love.For freedom from loneliness.To feel alive.
Therefore,the drive for lust is a symptom.A symptom of deeper unsettledness.
Many find it very helpful to touch this spot and bring it to light in therapy.
I would definately suggest a therapist to 95% of the people I know.
It's just hard to understand what's going on inside of us on our own.
Our hearts desperately want to fully connect to life and people.
But we are afraid.
So our brain goes in what's known as "fight-or-flight mode".You got to defense mode.A safe place.
Sex.
THe answer is of course to connect to our heart and these fears and insecurities and learn how not to run and hide.But to trust.

p.s. this might've been my deepest post yet.

Guys, soak up Uri's wisdom now, he'll be charging $200/hour pretty soon.

Reb Trigger:
I am closing in on day 44 (almost at the half way marker). There were times that I was blind and dizzy almost frenzy like with the urge and passion to give in. Up until I joined the chabura I always gave in my brain would just power off, not even sleep mode. Just keep on fighting the more you fight the easier it gets and with each win more and more simcha and kedusha will enter into your heart.  Just be on the lookout for new tricks, he doest give up EZ.

Keep on posting the Koach Harabim will protect you.

Our need for sex and lust is just that.A deeper need.
When we are tempted to act out,we must understand that this is a reflection and a revelation of what is going on in our hearts.A need for security.For love.For freedom from loneliness.To feel alive.

Our hearts desperately want to fully connect to life and people.
But we are afraid.
So our brain goes in what's known as "fight-or-flight mode".You got to defense mode.A safe place.
Sex.
THe answer is of course to connect to our heart and these fears and insecurities and learn how not to run and hide.But to trust.

p.s. this might've been my deepest post yet.
[/quote]

Dear everone (and Uri)
Thank you all for your care and concern and most of all your love. I am sure it will make you all happy to know, that yesterday was Sunday which is my hardest day, as I am usually alone in the office. Well, yesterday by the time I had finished with the Chizuk email and reading through all your replies I could not even THINK of looking at anything inappropriate.
Uri, I am impressed with your depth, but even more impressed that you were able to express it so well. I printed it out and I “learnt” it on the way home from work yesterday. I didn’t have much to add to it, until this morning when I listened to a Shiur about Chanuka from Rabbi Akiva Tatz.  www.simpletoremember.com/media/a/chanukah-oil-wick-n-flamed/
I quote from the Shiur :
Darkness brings a natural fear. Not the fear of being attacked but the fear of being alone. One who is spiritually developed does not fear being alone. On the contrary he feels a tremendous thrill in being alone. The Greeks extinguished that. Western culture is afraid to be alone. The Jewish idea of meditation is not to switch off and relax but to switch on the real mind and connect. We are supposed to do this at least three times a day.
Which made me think: Why do I/we find daavening so hard? It is because we are so uncomfortable being alone.

Thanks for the post, Ovadia.

OVADIA

I THOUGHT OF YOU THIS SHABBOS WHILE I WAS READING THE HAFTORAH (OK NOT READING SAYING THE HAFTORAH ,I DAVEN IN A CHASSIDSHE SHUL0


b

bardichev wrote on 07 Dec 2009 16:13:


i thought of you  too ovadia, and you helped me pay more attention to the words.

thanks!!!

You guys are just the best. I am very honoured. I specially asked the gabba in Shul if I could have Maftir, which I read. I am thrilled that you thought of me, but I say this mainly for myself and for everyone else. The message of Ovadia Hanovi is " By resisting the external influences, we not only protect ourselves but we can rise to tremendous heights - in other words we rise inversely proportionately to our surroundings" Guys, as Dov said so well, HaShem wants us to maximise our own potential and it seems that we can really come close to Him, not despite but as a result of our situations.
My Tefila is "Please please HaShem, let us help each other come close to You"
BeAhava to you all.

ovadia wrote on 08 Dec 2009 11:14:

Beautiful! Thanks for sharing.