newaction wrote on 28 Feb 2018 09:57:

So glad to hear from you. I especially appreciate your comments. Interesting approach on how we may believe that we are undeserving -a psychological angle.

Impressive amount of days of sobriety. Good for you!

Trying to get there myself ODAAT. 

Thanks  a lot ! 
Yes i have many clean days but many other maladies .
So let each one deal with his own pekaleh.
I am a certified co-dependent . That means many (unhealthy) things. 
So i discovered that i have very deep rooted low opinion of myself (not necessarily low self esteem but not excluded).  And it takes (me) a lot of daily affirmations to fight that back.
In short P. & M. was one of the symptoms , and i've  got many more.  
As you wrote , one daat. 
Hatzlacha !

newaction wrote on 04 Mar 2018 12:36:

So your honest. very humble. you work on your shortcomings and don't fool yourself.

You have accumulated many days of sobriety by this steadfast attitude that you practice daily.

There is a name for guys like you - "Winners"

Me a winner ??? 

You see i haven't ever thought of myself as a winner . 
Thank you very much anyways , I'll think about it.
Be well now lots of hatzlacha !

Suddenly had a few slips this past Erev shabbos.
Scared me.
I decided to make a taphsic - neder - and immediately felt a sense of relief

B"H still clean.
Right now I happen to have a major personal hurdle in my life. In the past, this sort of challenge brought with it slips. We all know where slips lead to. 
I have been davening more and have been extra focused to not do anything that could lead to a trigger.

yiraishamaim wrote on 09 May 2018 00:50:

Good for you. Also, may be useful to remember that your reacting a certain way in the past doesn't need to dictate what the future will look like. 

Lastly, slips suck, but they don't need to lead anywhere. Part of the machlah is saying "I blew it", and then because of that going the whole way.

Winners will take any victory when it is offered to them, they aren't choosy. 

Thinking of you in our prayers

Great way of thinking. Not falling after a slip is a win of sorts. 
Want to be a winner. Gotta be a winner.

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can... "     

newaction wrote on 09 May 2018 17:36:


Thank you.  It means a lot.

Just went through your thread.
Heart was going up and down a lot with certain updates, but good to see that you have been doing well for a while now. 
Not that I am having a luxurious life over here, but reading a thread like yours, I can't help feeling spoiled in my cocoon of three sederam a day with no life responsibilities besides trying to get my head on straight... I go out here and there, but I don't want to imagine where I would be if I was in the situations that you have to deal with. Probably won't be too pretty. 
I only hope that I have such strength and commitment when the time comes.
Waiting for the good news when your major hurtle passes. 
Don't forget that others are looking up to you. 
Thanks
 

shmirashachaim wrote on 14 May 2018 12:44:

That mindset never helped me. Actually hurt. Otherwise, nice post!  

shmirashachaim wrote on 14 May 2018 12:44:

Major hurdle still exists but it's in the works. B"H staying away from possible triggers.
Davening for divine intervention and learning more. 

shmirashachaim wrote on 14 May 2018 12:44:

Major hurdle still exists but it's in the works. B"H staying away from possible triggers.
Davening for divine intervention and learning more. 

May the forceHashem be with you!