cordnoy wrote on 27 Apr 2017 01:37:

HA HA, I hope to post tomorrow in the proper group. Hey, I want Hashem to hear my prayers don't I????

So my boss gave me this young woman - not the most tziniyus - to assist me on an important project. Like I really needed this nisayon. 
Surviving and not allowing my mind to go where it has no business going.
Not perfect  now - but surviving

Good Shabbos to all.

yiraishamaim wrote on 28 Apr 2017 21:13:

The Boss gave it to you

Im sure you've read the book - "all for the  Boss"

Well said.

A misnomer.

The Boss actually did give this "nisayon" to me. I'll keep trying.

Solid Shabbos and Sunday'

Assistant was not as challenging so far today.

Today is Yom Hazikaron.  Reminds me of the thousands of young people who lost their lives in their prime.

G-d has been profoundly kind to me by giving me life. I dare not eventually return  my soul to him sullied in lust. 

My thoughts.

B"H sailing along on relatively smooth waters.

​I attribute this to: Hashem having rachmanus on me because:  
1) I daven a lot for assistance.
2) reading on the subject for good advice and chizuk
3) working at not looking at women and dismissing from my mind asap any and all triggering thoughts.
On # 3 an interesting challenge has risen. Once in a while I remember a happy memory from earlier in my life. After all while living in the past might not be a good idea, reminiscing here and there is fine,. Perhaps we can say normal and even healthy.
However, I realize it can also be a way to get to inappropriate thoughts. It starts off fine, after all, it's under the file of the mind titled sentimental feelings not the file called lust.
One thing can easily lead to the other and then - yikes!

            

Oh, forgot to share that which is really truly exciting.
I started to learn more.
Two new chavrusas. One, I approached him. The second ,he approached me. I guess mitzva goreres mitzva, right?
Both are serious about their learning and are great guys. Gives my mind an opportunity to focus on loftier things.

Good Shabbos to all

yiraishamaim wrote on 05 May 2017 18:00:

Hatzlacha! On the up and up iyh!

I have come to realize that the turning point of my lust game - meaning the point when I get a zombie rush of desire, does not just happen out of the blue anymore.{At one time it did - when I first joined GYE]
RATHER, Now this happens after allowing thoughts to be in my head after I was aware of them creeping in/ not looking away after my eye catches something interesting on the street/watching things on the web which are kosher of themselves but slowly or not so slowly lead me to the forbidden -like news  and youtube videos.
If I continue to be a good chess player, and always think a few moves ahead, meaning my present activities could lead to - I can nip it in the bud.
Needless to say this is my Hishtadlus. I always daven to Hashem for divine assistance, as hishtadlus alone is much too lame. 

B"H I have reached 18 days of legitimate clean wholesome sobriety.
Perfect? No. But 18 days where lustful thoughts were almost immediately pushed aside as they entered the mind. I have trained myself that when I push the thought away,I picture it being put in a wrapped package on the mizbayach being sacrificed to Hashem. By now this takes a split second. It may sound weird but it works for me. Instead of having the sinful joy of the lustful thought I have the joy of using it in a positive way in avodas Hashem.
Looking on the street was at most within the 3 second rule. 
Didn't go to sites on the web that seem OK but I know from past experience eventually lead to slips which lead to ... This is huge.
I have had long periods of sobriety in the past. NOW -I have made more gedarim. 
I want this run to be, 1 day at a time - every single blessed day!
May G-d help make this a reality.

HOOOOOOOOORRAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY

Keep up the good work especially like the mind trick....

KOMTNMW

yiraishamaim wrote on 07 May 2017 19:05:

As long as it ain't 3-second chess ;-)

KOMT!!!

B"H I am 26 days and doing well.
Now Markz already pointing out on this very thread that the real "Boss" is the one that is meant in the book "All for The Boss." 
So just like "Hamelech" in the Megillah, "boss" here has two meanings. On a simple level it means my direct superior at work. On a deeper level it means the one and only Hashem. 
OK -Markz. WHEW!
 My boss informed me that I will be needed to go to various business locations during the summer months. That  raises some concerns. In my environment at work only a limited amount of challenges seem to present themselves. However, driving through the streets and visiting different locations is another story.
I have found in the past when I davened before I left and made a conscious effort to do well it was helpful.

My journey has been great until...
I slipped on motzei Shabbos. That "sobered" me up real fast. 
So our main home computer was left on and unattended. It's filter is not sufficient.
I went on for a moment. things were ok and then when not, I caught my self quickly.
This lapse showed that I need to be more vigilant. 
Have I been as true to the changes I put into place? The answer is clearly no. I have not - for the past number of days-  I have not kept up with my readings. They have shown to be very helpful.
Motzei shabbos was a close call but I learned my lesson.
I HOPE!

yiraishamaim wrote on 22 May 2017 11:12:

please get a filter, so that will be one step ahead, keep it going, stay strong.
yes! you can!