quiet wrote on 16 Dec 2016 14:41:

I forgot about my post midnight pledge. I slipped (thanks Shua) and listened to Madonna (living in a gashmiyusdike velt, Ich bin a gashmiyusdike maidele). I said the next time I am on YouTube after midnight, I will consider it a slip and post about it.

I know I wrote I will upgrade slip, but I already did that earlier today and will still consider this a slip in future

Edit: I am adding GYE as a slip to post midnight (unless to prevent or report post-fall). I know it sounds crazy. Shua says a good night's sleep helps nisyonos so this will BLN be my last post after midnight so Shua can be at peace knowing I won't be "crazy on the dance floor" at all hours

quiet wrote on 20 Dec 2016 19:51:

Yup, my youtube is a No-Mans-Land. So I don't know the song and will probably never know of it.

Um, guys, Yosef and to a certain extent quiet... 
Ever thought that the desire to watch videos and stuff is also an addiction? I don't think trying to overcome that is counterproductive to wanting to stop porn. actually, I feel not even considering it might be detrimental to the overall struggle.
Lust addiction is one thing. But if you don't attack the core, those addictive tendencies will always be there. It requires holistic analysis. Da'as Atzmo. First step in Avodas Hashem.
But it sounds addictive. You want to stream another 47 or so episodes? These women, the people there, become part of your life. Your friends. It's frightening.
I was once there. All I did was watch Simpsons, South Park and play video games. I was fat, had acne and no friends. It was an addiction all the same! Just I managed to break free, slowly, surely. By seeing how it added no value to my life. And it wasn't as alluring as unbridled lust (as we all know)
And now I'm on the other side. And my wife and I can indulge in a pixar movie, maybe, once every six months or so. And it's nice, a bonding experience more than a drug. Maybe I should see that struggle parallel to my even worse struggle.

Yosef: 
It sounds very white-knuckley. Cold Turkey, but sounds VERY reluctant. I think what will be most effective is working on the means to understand why it is in fact good. But that takes a lot of time. Practice. Self discovery. Hatzlocha on that. But don't see the abstinence as holding your breath. Because, well, you'll have to come up for air at some point....

shua73 wrote on 21 Dec 2016 01:49:

Sure. Sure.

#postcountfanboy

I'd NEVER post consecutively!!
!
..
..






Nah I would. Post count shoots up MUCH faster than the days of the chart. AND it's guaranteed NEVER to fall down again!
please don't kill me cordnoy 

quiet wrote on 21 Dec 2016 05:54:

It's also a segula for getting to a minyan.

OKAY this is my last post!

If people get angry, I call the African Defence Card: Were I awake and posting at the time of all the conversations, these 4 replies would have been dispersed and nobody would have batted an eyelid!

"Yosef and to a certain extent quiet... 
Ever thought that the desire to watch videos and stuff is also an addiction?
I don't think trying to overcome that is counterproductive to wanting to stop porn.
actually, I feel not even considering it might be detrimental to the overall struggle.
Lust addiction is one thing. But if you don't attack the core, those addictive tendencies
will always be there. It requires holistic analysis. Da'as Atzmo. First step in Avodas Hashem.
But it sounds addictive. You want to stream another 47 or so episodes?
These women, the people there, become part of your life. Your friends. It's frightening.
I was once there. All I did was watch Simpsons, South Park and play video games.
I was fat, had acne and no friends. It was an addiction all the same!
Just I managed to break free, slowly, surely. By seeing how it added no value to my life."
------------------------------
I am up early. The benefit of not staying up late on the computer!!
Dude, totally, I think that my major problem is the streaming videos. 
Episodes and movies, all available, all free, all calling out to me, never-ending. 
That is what my son said to me "once you would watch those 47 'stupids',
there will be 10 or 15 more!" He is one SMART kid! Boruch HaShem!
I've said this aspect of my struggle before on my forum thread - going towards 90-days.
Eventually, and perhaps inevitably, spending tons of time watching stupids/
streaming videos, leads to watching porn and masturbating and wasting seed.
But I know that MY personal problem is that I am WAY more strongly pulled to the former,
(to watch regular videos), than the latter (to watch explicit stuff and masturbate and waste seed).
I tried to express this in numbers on a scale from 1 to 10, but we are NOT going there again!

Anyway, I am not addicted to either. It's a very bad habit that I am breaking free from, 
and though I wanted to work on it differently, cutting down on the "stupids" slowly over time,
I have been "boxed in" as a support buddy called it, to do it faster with the Cold Turkey method.
I was VERY reluctant to try a 3rd helping of Cold Turkey. First of all, it sucks. Second of all, 
I tried it twice already and both times it lasted less than a week!
But, I am coming to terms with it. And this time, I feel a lot less alone.
My whole family is involved, you guys are involved, my forum friends are involved, 
and my Rov is involved! AND I don't have the easy ability to just change it, since 
I no longer have the whole password!! 

Hi yosef 

Seems your doing good on your new venture! i agree with the Psak i got from quiet about the comment i made on your Rov, i under-estimated your power of will:peace:!

I am amazed by your strength:punch:

LOH (Lots Of Hatzlocho)

Singularity wrote on 21 Dec 2016 08:13:

I had an addiction more to wild crime action movies, i was hooked on it, even when i managed to keep off porn, it was always after watching a movie i found myself back into it!!!

B''h i manged to get hold of myself a bit, didnt watch a movie since im clean !!!

I improved myself so much, in work, personal life - family, Rochniyes - Torah & Tefillah.

Thought i'm still addicted this time to GYE, but its for sure better then of the other things i was, and here i keep on gettin Chizuk to fight the other addiction.

Hey Friends

21 Days = 3 Weeks, some sort of Chazoko:joy:.

But wont joy let distract me, going on strong.

BTW got a new line in my SignatureLike?

Mazel Tov to our passing 2000 Views:peace:

Singularity wrote on 21 Dec 2016 08:13:

I agree 100% if that means anything. My personal experience is a little different (so far just passed two weeks which isn't that much in the grand scheme of things). For me, learning that there is an actual physical difference in my brain that can be actually seen by a doctor (such as how the different hemispheres of my brain and it's cells interact with one another) was something that really struck me. It became more similar in my mind to alcohol, smoking, or drug addiction. Although I knew many different things about myself and what about it was addictive and alle gute zachin vechulu, that knowledge helped push me to want to stop. I need good grades and if this is holding me back, not necessarily bc of the time it takes away but more so bc of how it rewires my brain to not have the same capacity as it used to, then it's more important for me to stop than just bc it's wrong.

When I am struggling, it's generally bc I feel lonely or upset or something similar (also, being tired greatly exacerbates those potential triggers). Those feelings cause me to retreat inward and focus selfishly on myself and ask myself what do I want now or what's in my immediate personal self interest. Since I feel hurt, I want to give myself something to make me feel better. However, now that I have a greater understanding of how it's in my own self interest to stop, the landscape of struggle is now different. I am now choosing between two self interested choices. 
 Although it is always in my own self interest to stop even when it's bc I understand how it's isolating me, isolation is indirectly a personal harm. It is not the same as actually hurting myself. Even more so, when I struggle, I feel isolated already. Therefore, telling myself that I shouldn't give in bc I'll isolate myself and so on, requires me to balance my short term desires against a long term goal of the same character, which will generally lead me to choose the one that's right now instead of choosing the one for later.
However, now I am comparing different goals and benefits. The choice now encompasses different benefits and different harms. This makes it easier for me to weigh them against each other as there are more differences between them ...

To lighten up the mood, here's a joke.

what does a JAP make for supper?

Hi everyone. I been reading the posts but not writing. Now at shua's suggestion I'm posting! I just completed my 7th day. That's a complete cycle. I also just made a siyum today. I always find it a little incongruous when these things overlap. As if to say they don't belong together. I guess they don't... but in reality it's not that they don't belong TOGETHER it's just that the one doesn't belong at all...
i often feel like I'm still a little child. I'm not though... I'm in my mid thirties. That's right me! Anytime we get through one struggle another one comes with a bite. I guess that's life though, right. I have more clean dates than I can guess. I hope this is my last one!
I appreciate all the messages everyone jazz been writing and I look forward to continued posting

I slipped once today and once yesterday so I'm thinking of the taphsic method. I'm at 15 days so I can't fall now. I figured out the first part - exercise for fifteen minutes. Probably push-ups or some other exercise that I can barely do to save my life. I'm just not sure about the knas parts.

Hola hopeful. What do you mean by I have more clean dates than I can guess? I just don't get what that means. Sorry