Hi everyone. I was not forum first.I manstrubated for a short time period when I was 15 and I also saw so much pornography for a long time from when I was 13 years old . When I was 16 we moved to america. Barukh Hashem we became forum. I started to go Yeshiva. I am yeshiva for nine years. I struggle d with lust and bad thought s for long time . Those pornography ruined my brain. I tried in past two years to get married. But unfortunately it didn't work out. I am now passed shidukhim age. There are diffrent reason why I couldn't get married. But I will not discuss it now. I always in past 9 years struggle with desire to my opposite sex. But I hold back myself and tried to not even see a bad picture. I spent all of my time in yeshiva and some nights in college. After I got older those bad thought still bothered me. I really liked to get married and be save from this desires. But it didn't work. My desire got worse and worse. Recetly in past 2 months ago I started to manstrubate to take away my desire to girls and also to take off from stress. Few times I looked for prostitude , but I held myself back. I am masturbating more and more. I also started to see again pornography. I am really embarrassed from myself to be a bakhur yeshiva and doing this. But my desire to girls is inevitable. I feel better after manstrubating, but I am getting addicted to it and I know of course it is big avera. I am sure if someone doesn't help me I will forced to do sex with a prostitude. Plz help me
