Shteeble wrote:

Shteebs - I'm still a relative newbie here, but I'd think maybe some targets may not work well in time of lust attack, eg red panic button - I wonder if it has helped anyone yet - it didn't for me

Shlomos ideas have helped him, and sound practical

The following is what I have posted on the Free Towing Assistance page
It's not final - Id like to add your gems there

markz wrote:


All the best!!!

markz wrote:


markz, thanks for replying.

You just found your first "red button" 'nik.

I haven't always found it to work.
But sometimes, it did the job of distracting me enough to move on to a better place.
The list in this thread is my own personal list.
Some tactics will work for many people, some for some people, and some for none.
These are what I have found thus far to work best for me in the prioritized order.
It's not enough though.
That's why I'm asking the oilam for more ideas.

I really appreciate your contribution, and I ask anyone who has ideas that work for them to please contribute.

Yasher Koach.

Thank you Shlomo for your reply.
I have some of that in my list too.

I don't have a lot to offer for your specific question because what works best for me is the ounce of prevention rather than the pound of cure. My issue is escapism, not lust per se, so I need to head off the beast by fighting it while it's still at the stage of escape before it turns into straight lust.
To accomplish that, I need to remember how important it is to me not to start slipping. I do that by browsing these forums. By keeping it in the forefront of my mind, it trains me so the knee jerk reaction to the escape urge is aversion. Every second I entertain the idea of escape makes it exponentially harder to regain that lost ground.
I also attend one of the phone conferences which is actively working on changing my mindset so I don't need to escape as much.

There are times when I am in a close range firefight to escape. When that happens, this is what works for me.

1. I setup my daily schedule to have no down time. If I'm lucky enough that the timing is right, when the mood hits I might have a shiur/chavrusa or some other activity that is already habitual that will get me out of myself.

2. Reaching out to GYE buddies, poor guys.

3. Music! I have a large collection of favorites, and have found music to be a great mood changer. Only Jewish music, the other stuff would work against me as it has hashpo'os of tumah and makes me despise myself. Some of the Jewish singers have the same nauseating effect as non-Jewish singers - just saying.

4. Lastly, let's say it's Shabbos, no music, no chatting with friends online, no shiur or chavrusa scheduled, I play through an imaginary conversation in my mind. (This would be more embarrassing if it wasn't anonymous). I talk through the situation exactly the way I would if I was sharing it with a friend. Sometimes I even imagine the response!
Years ago, when I was very close to the mashgiach in yeshiva, I often held imaginary conversations with him. I knew him well enough that I felt I could predict his response.

Hope this helps. In my experience, even the close range strategies work best if you invest time in them before they're put to the test.

eslaasos wrote:

eslaasos wrote:


Perhaps just say you will act out after you count to 4.

Hi Shteeble (that name seems to stick),
The thoughts percolating in my head earlier today seemed like they might be helpful to you.
I've been having interfering thoughts and temptations for the last few days. I've surrendered them privately and also with friends by email and chat which has helped but they keep coming back.

First, I was reminded of AlexEliezer's mantra of surrendering, and then surrendering again, and again, and again, as many times as necessary until you're out of the moment.
Then when I was getting frustrated that I'm seemingly stuck in the mud, I recalled the lessons of acceptance I learnt in therapy. I accept the fact that for this week (I can't think further ahead right now) this is who I am and where I'm at. I am not going to be finishing Shas, winning the lottery (to be able to give mammoth amounts of tzedakah of course) or solving the world's problems. I'm going to be just little me being mind-blasted by negative thoughts and tempted to escape in stupid ways. I'm going to be the best I can be at keeping my head above water.

Do I want to take the easy road to give in and end the struggle? Heck, yes.
Is it worth it? HELL, NO!
Will I? I hope not, and I have a small plan to keep me from it. Not perfect but so far still clean, thank G-d.

Hope this helps, and wishing us all hatzlacha.

eslaasos wrote:


I like the writin' style, the content and the thought process.

eslaasos wrote:

Before I even saw cordnoy's comment, I was going to say it's clear he's been makin' an impression on you.

Bigmoish wrote:


I'm not sure what specifically you're referring to but it was indeed he who recently reminded me of the AE line.

Thanks for being one of the aforementioned friends.

Bigmoish wrote:


Not sure that's a good thin'.

LOL

Shteeble wrote on Unknown:

Shteeble wrote on Unknown:

The goal here is to get out of isolation, so maybe take it to the next step. Head over to the nearest vibrant Beis Midrash or pizza store, whichever will be more helpful and get involved in conversation. If you don't have buddies available in a public setting, call the aforementioned friend but not from your couch or bed. Call him from a public place, even in your car in the middle of 13th Ave (or the Wichita equivalent).

May Hashem be mekabel your tefillos b'ratzon.

Shteeble wrote on 12 Feb 2016 13:54:

Hi Shteeble. How's the list going?