Part of me is worrying - where is my kedusha/tahara? especially right before RH! I ruined myself !

 And then i realize it's not about me right now, it's about needing Hashem's help 24/7 to stay clean. and by focusing more, reading more of the GYE material, looking into SA, etc. I am trying my best. Humility is something we need in this struggle...

I really relate. I needed to get sober, but not because it was an aveirah, because my life was going to shambles. It took me a while to realize that, I was in SA for a decent amount of time before I came to realize that.

As part of my recovery, IYH, I will try to write something here everyday....

I cannot change the past. I can only move forward. I can ask Hashem for help. I can try to learn more. I can try to get to SA. I can try to put my phone away at night. I can try to post on GYE and read more material.

Hashem Ozer Lanu.

strugglingguy wrote on 28 Sep 2016 15:07:

but we may not stand in his way  

Ok. Agreed. 

  I just saw from the Chidushei HaR"IM that Teshuva obviously has to contain charata but not an overdose of it. Too much charata and not enough positive looking forward can demoralize and freeze a person.

  Now, I don't really need self-coddling I do need to be hard on myself and think about how to let Hashem help me. Still, I relate the the above message in the sense that - especially before Yom Kippur - if I dwell too much on the avera, I miss the point of positively moving forward. These are things I will think about this Yom Tov.

Hope everyone had an enjoyable RH.

May this AYT be one of solid commitments moving forward in our journeys. 

Another clean day so far, Bli Ayin Hara. Thank Gd.

   hope everyone has a good day

I m"d once last week, but since then have been ok. 
Have a great rest of Yom Tov. 
May Hashem remove our illicit desires and bad temptations. 

strugglingguy wrote on 23 Oct 2016 17:08:

He might, but I doubt it.

For first time in couple weeks, I had a fall. 

Bad news 

Good news is you made a few weeks 

I'd like to suggest a Taphsic

Every time you fall, it's a page out of the book of your life, so you should promise to read 1 page in the GYE handbook

So for the last 3 falls read 3 pages. 
I hope you never have to read further, but if it happens that your Taphsic obligates you in future then do it

Deal?

Hi - Ok, yes I can do that. Currently I am reading R' Twerski's book, Teshuva and Recovery; does that count for now?

I had a fall tonight with my phone. I pushed it off for a little while but eventually fell. Went to play basketball afterwards.

I need to do a few things to help myself:

a) Keep phone away from me
b) Give App store password to wife
c) SA meetings - I actually left a message with my local SA to see where a meeting is.
d) Make more consistent calls to GYE people - I actually spoke to a guy tonight for 40 minutes. 

Rabbi Twersky is awesome!!!

Your progress is likewise!!