If a person is an addict, he needs the drug whenever. If you were trying to recover from caffeine addiction and "fell" on Rosh Hashana by drinking coffee, you wouldn't feel bad because it's not also an aveira.

Your approach vis-a-vis the addiction on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur (and Shabbos, etc.) should be the same as your approach on any other day: one day at a time. You're right. It's nothing to do with teshuva. So maybe you fell because you mistook the teshuva of R"H for recovery for a day. Recovery is recovery. Teshuva is teshuva. Get sober and into recovery. That's real teshuva -- returning to life and to the Source of Life.

So don't worry about Yom Kippur. It's too far off. One day at a time.

Heh. I fell this morning. I was plagued by major strong lust all Rosh Hashonah, and I didn't fall because (even though I felt silly doing so) I asked Hashem to help me stay sober ON ROSH HASHONAH!! I mean, it felt so stupid to me. I don't have enough motivation to stay sober then?!? But I said it anyway.
This morning, I didn't say it. And here I am, one fall more...

That's not silly to daven on Rosh Hashonoh for sobriety, I wished I had done it.

Ah, the Yomim Noraim blues.

Chaim, maybe I am weird but no matter how many times you fall I am always going to like you. Same with E-Tek.

Wow, thanks!
And that's the bottom line at GYE.
Hashem, are You watching? We need Mashiach.

I love you too, Nederman. Even though sometimes (or usually) you get my blood boiling.

I'm an addict. The definition of an addict I think is someone that can't think himself out of his addiction, cause if he can he won't be an addict.

Therefore I try not to think how I'm gonna get sober and recover, but rather I try for this minute to avoid lust, because I know that when confronted head on I'm powerless so I don't really have any specific tactic that'll save me. And I need lots of help, cause there are countless things that can trigger me big time every time I walk in the street.

Recovery seems to be "positive sobriety", that's a bit of and oxymoron, but the idea seems to be to actively live the real life that Hashem is giving me this present moment to the fullest extent I can. And when I feel like I want look or fantasize, to daven right away for help. Nothing else I can do. But this is plenty.

Gut voch.

I was lying in bed the other night and my thoughts were wondering, after a few seconds I realized that I was getting aroused after quite a while of being clean, Without a second of hesitation I closed my eyes and did as I read on this forum, begged H' to help and look after me and told him that I was to weak to fight this "Teyva" and he should fight it for me... and what a wonderful CLEAN nights sleep did I have

Yes, surrender works, because you finally accept the unthinkable, namely that you do have these desires that make you worthless. It's called a paradoxical technique, because instead of running away from the danger you head straight for it.

hope613 wrote on 24 Sep 2012 10:33:


Nice. It's those types of moments that stand before Hashem on Yom Kippur and beg Him to remember us for good.

OK. On Erev Yom kippur I downloaded Joe and Charlie's big book discussion and listened to the first track. I must do more positive work for my recovery, the GYE calls don't work for technichal reasons, I'm trying this instead to learn the 12 steps and work them with the help of the guys I speak to. I may need even more than this, but one step and day at a time.

I really like the wit and charm they use when giving over the stuff, it makes it come alive, which is I guess the point. They said that addiction is an physical allergy - once I start I crave for more and more with no end, together with a mental obsession - can't simply drop it, my mind will for sure fool me sometime that it's all right to lust just a bit. From there it's simple arithmetic: Allergy (body can't have it)+ Obssesion (mind needs it) = Powerless.

Gut Yar, everyone.

Any hard evidence for these claims, or they just make you feel good?

No, it just makes me feel good. That means, it helps me and tens of millions of others from falling each and every day. I don't understand it cognitivley or any other way for that matter, but I don't really care.

I figured.

Chevra,

Just wanted to say Gut Yom Tov to everyone. I think I'm gonna take a break from the forum for a while, I feel that it's holding back my recovery a bit. Don't know exactly how, but I find that I fall more after days of intense posting. Gotta chill. Live life simple. One day at a time. Something like that. I hope to be back sometime.

Love all of you guys,

Chaim