some_guy wrote on 06 Apr 2016 01:45:

Heck; I think I have all of them.

I have 10

11

some_guy wrote on 06 Apr 2016 01:45:


Congratulations, Elias. So you are an addict. Mazel Tov.

That does nothing for you, as long as you keep obsessing about the issue.

How about growing up? It may not seem glamorous enough for you, and there many be others who like massaging your ego and 'being nice'...but if you are an addict after all then how about listening to what the addicts tell us in the literature:

We are King Baby and need to grow up a lot.

Instead of focusing on your 'clean time', how about focusing on growing up and all that it entails?

Last Tuesday I was walking home from the bus stop and evil thoughts kept attacking me. I took a math test that I did not know about; I forgot how do solve some of the problems and had to leave those answers blank. Usually, when something like that happens to me, I would look at P and M as soon as I got home. Eventually, I did both of those things. However, I see Tuesday as a major win. The reason is that I resisted falling until 7:00 or 8:00, I forget which. That's 4-5 hours of me defeating the Yetzer Hara when he was at his strongest!

My personal, inner battle was like a reenactment of the Battle of Bunker Hill, which was an early battle fought during the American Revolution. Overnight the Americans sneaked up the hill and quickly set up the best fort they could. When morning came, the British realized what the Americans were doing and attacked. Even though they had less men, worse weapons and inexperienced leaders, the Americans managed to kill a very large amount of the invading British. Eventually, the Americans had to retreat and give up Bunker Hill to the British.

Similarly, I had built up my defenses subtly. When the Yetzer Hara realized that I was not falling anymore because of my defenses, he launched a full scale attack. If every time I fell I created klipah and every time I suppressed my desires I created angles, then I am completely, positively sure that me and my angles were outnumbered. I do not need to explain to any of you how powerful the weapons of the Yetzer Hara are; the fact that anyone has ever beaten him is nothing short of a miracle. I have not had a clean streak as long as that one for a very long time (maybe never), so I did not have much experience fighting battles of that type. Despite all of this, my angles and me held of the Yetzer Hara for a very long time. Even though we won that battle, he is now in a worse position in the war because I have so much more self-confidence and less depression that before.

-some_guy/ Elias/ Eliyahu

P.S. This is why I count hours. If I was counting days or not counting anything, then I would not have realized how much I have grown.

Counting hours till the next sexcapade?

That sounds cool
But does that really make much sense?

Masturbate every 45 minutes, and you may find yourself by a Dr of sorts

Masturbate after 5 hours, I'm sorry bro - you're the loser, not the YH

Hes wiser than you, so he puts in your head the thought that you defeated him, but currently you're in a win win situation

KOM

Keep on doing what is working for you eliyahu. And don't mind the harshness of Mark, he means well.

Shlomo 
FYI KOM can mean
Kick Out Mark

post of the year please

I think you are a wonderful person Mark. 

Shlomo24 wrote:

Read it again, I did NOT say kiss out mark

Shlomo24 wrote on 19 Apr 2016 06:02:

see mark, i told you these kiss smileys had a use on the men's forums.
hell, i basically even predicted by who and for what.

peloni almoni wrote on 20 Apr 2016 04:48:

Where did you predict it?

KUTGA???
I have no idea. Could someone please tell me what this means?
I am going to add this to the Glossary, but I need a meaning first.
TYKOT

Shmulyz18 AKA Betterman AKA Shmulyz19 AKA Shmuly.

Keep
Up
The
Good
Attitude!

 

I have been doing bad. I have honestly been considering giving up on this fight; just surrendering and let the Yetzer Hara win. Sometimes when I am on the bus or I am at home, a thought keeps running through my head as if it were a scratched record. "It hurts." I am not even sure what it means. It will repeat dozens of times. I just want the pain to stop. I do not care if that means that I cannot grow and improve, or that I have failed the mission Hashem has given me. I just want the pain to stop.