I think the answer is obvious. People 'fall' there frequently, just like anywhere else. Nothing special about it. The lightning that lands on a masturbater there is apparently no stonger than the lightning that has already hit you at home.

Have you had any strikes?

But what does he mean by that and what do you think might happen?

It's obvious that most people masturbate at one time or another, and that the overwhelming majority are not addicts.

But so what?

It is a valid question. But I think you have to realize that you are not the same person you were a year ago. I fell many times in Yeshiva, and know of many others who did as well. I remember thinking that Kedushat Eretz Yisroel would protect me, and than I fell and I couldn't believe I had fallen there. It is all nareshkeiten and you have to remember that. You were just saying how your depression is better even after a fall. Keep that attitude with you wherever you go, and you will be fine. The place is not important, it is the person.

MBJ is so right! I never 'fell' in EY during the 2 years I was in yeshiva there...but I saved it for a thousand times later in the states.

Your enemy has never been your penis, Elais, it has always and only ever been your brain. Thinking and working yourself all up about the 'meaning' and 'evilness' of your struggles and what they show and mean about you, is just playing into the hand of the old game, man.

Drop it.

some_guy wrote:
I still don't get the question. Nothing will happen. Nothing different than what happens if you fall today.

If I fall at the yeshiva, I would yell at myself 'How could I do something so terrible here! This is such a holy place and I do THIS here! If the holiness of the Yeshiva does not help, nothing ever will!' I know this is wrong. Being in a holy place does not eliminate the lust. If anything, the Yetzer Hara will attack me more. I just don't know what to tell myself when I start getting those thoughts. Thank you guys for all the help you are giving me. It really means a lot.

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu

If, if, if ...........

When I begin to worry about what will happen if, then I lose my sobriety today.

I heard one guy say: tomorrow I am going to fall! .......... but today with the help of HaShem I will stay sober.

One day at at a time.

May HaShem give us a sober and sane day.

Hi Chesky,

I like taking one day at a time, but I cannot. I need to know what to do if something happens to me at Yeshiva. In the past, I have had hard times away from home. Before, I went to a Yeshiva week program in New York. About half way through, for no reason, I just felt terrible. Like as if something was trying to suffocate me. It was during the morning servaces. I felt so bad I took my teffilin off and ran out of the building. Latter that day, I took a bus, then train, then car back home.

See. I cannot afford to not have a plan. If I become really depressed or anxious, what will I do? At home, I can talk to my mother, my rabbi, my therapist and in school I have 3 guidance concealers that I can go to if I ever need to. I will not have any of that at the Yeshiva. So, what can I do to prepare help if I need it at the Yeshiva?

Oh, and thanks for responding. It always makes me feel good to know that someone reads what I am typing and cares.

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu

I'm confused, you only need a plan for after you fall?

what do you do before you fall?

some_guy wrote:


Those sound like things that you do to avoid falling, so shouldn't your question be "what will I do to prevent myself from falling in Yeshivah?" (as opposed to "what will happen "when" I fall?")

If that is what you meant, then are you not able to talk to those people on the telephone? Is there anyone that you could talk to from yeshivah prior to going there so that you have something prepared?

Hi,

It has been a really long time since my last visit here. Or at least it feels that way. During this time, I did the most amazing thing every! I was at my computer, reading my email. I was going to come here afterwards. But while I was reading, bad thoughts and images flashed through my head. After the 3 or 4 time, I logged off! I feel so great. Before, I had difficulty stopping once the thoughts got like that. Now, I beat them! And It is just so great!



--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu

P.S. I have a plan worked out for when I go to the Yeshiva, so that problem is taken care of.

and more power to you that you didn't mention "what if I fall" in this last post of yours!

Onward man!

Hello Everyone!

I visited a yeshiva this weekend. It was amazing!!!!!!!!! Spending Shabbos with so many nice people, who are baal teshuvas like me. I cannot describe it. They even had a mikvah on campus. I went there before and after Shabbos. Then we went to New York for Hey Teves. I went to the mikvah again at the Ohel and then wrote a letter to the Rebbe. We then went to 770 to hear the story of Hey Teves from the Rebbe's Secretary! It was truly an amazing weekend. I think I am going to go there after High School.

I have been clean and joyful. I don't get depressed, even after a fall. Most of all, I have a feeling that everything is getting better. Thank you all for helping me get this far. If it was not for you, I would still be in my room crying thinking that I was no good. Bless you all and GYE for everything!

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu

The following is my personal plea and does not in any way speak for GYE, of course:

My G-d, do you folks realize how many of you here on GYE are chabadniks or are heavily hanging with chabadniks?! I have at least fifteen friends from the forum who are chabadniks - some mashpiim, some talmidim, some whatever. Wake up! You are so lucky you have a platform that can unify you all together in some other way. That is so precious. Use it!

Seriously, if you all would just open up to each other and see that here you are posting to each other behind fake names but are neighbors/chavrusas/went to the same yeshivas/are talmidim of or mashpiim of one another - you'd create a real, live, movement from within chabad. People are hurting, families are being destroyed, and lives are being ruined every day by this problem - and it's not the internet!

But who is the brave one?

Politics, politics...I know what's going on in chabad now regarding the 'Call of the Shofar'. Yes, it is likely that associating yourselves with a 12-step group will get you blacklisted. But look what's happening to your little family! Do something!

OK, I'm done.

G-d's Will, not mine. I do not know what will come of it. But something tells me that of hundreds of chabadnik (mashpiim, dayanim, mechanchim, etc) sexaholics had a connection in person, there would be enough to make a dent in the leadership to save the next generation from the fantasy that hiding this problem is the ikkar, and that there is help out there that will not 'de-chabad' a guy.

Right now, 12-steps groups days are numbered in chabad, I think. Soon they will be blacklisted just like call of the shofar is being...then where will all these guys (there are many!!) go? Back to their prostitutes and videos (between chittas readings)?

Other Jewish groups need this too - but they are hopelessly noncohesive...but on the other hand they also are more open-minded so far.

And also finally, for whatever reason, chabad has this disease pretty bad, friends.

Dov wrote:


Perhaps misplaced Ahavas Hashem.