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I need help, please
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: I need help, please 51554 Views

Re: I need help, please 22 Apr 2013 02:06 #205709

  • Dov
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Well, if u masturbated yourself yesterday, at least today you didn't then, no? That's somthing to be grateful for!

A question for you, chaver, free of charge:

Who loves you in your life? I mean really, really loves you.
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: I need help, please 24 Apr 2013 23:59 #205915

  • some_guy
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Sorry it took so long for me to respond. I was having computer trouble.

Anyway, to answer Dov's question; my mother, my father, my rabbi, my brother (though he is good at hiding it), and my sister.

Looking at this list makes me a little depressed. I have always been shy, but I never thought of it being such a problem before. I could only think of one person outside my family. It looks like I may be anti-social. I will tell my therapist about this.
My Rabbi always gives me the same advice. "Be happy. The world is good. Just be happy."

Re: I need help, please 27 Apr 2013 00:09 #206068

  • some_guy
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Looking back I have had a pretty good week or two. It may be this site or the new medicine or the therapy. Whatever it is, I have not felt this light-hearted for a long time. Its like I had a 20 lbs weight strapped to my chest for years and just took it off. All my problems are still there in full force, but I feel better anyway.

--some_guy/Elias/Elihayu
My Rabbi always gives me the same advice. "Be happy. The world is good. Just be happy."

Re: I need help, please 28 Apr 2013 16:00 #206117

  • Eye.nonymous
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Thanks for posting.

--Elyah

Re: I need help, please 30 Apr 2013 04:32 #206208

  • some_guy
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I have not had such a good last few days. I fell at my rabbi's house on Shabbot and at home Sunday and today. But I won't get held back by this. I am going to move on to tomorrow.
My Rabbi always gives me the same advice. "Be happy. The world is good. Just be happy."

Re: I need help, please 30 Apr 2013 09:38 #206222

  • Eye.nonymous
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some_guy wrote:
I am going to move on to tomorrow.


Good luck.

--Elyah

Re: I need help, please 02 May 2013 04:22 #206417

  • some_guy
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I am going to try to go the next month without looking at P. Every time I do, I must give $20 to my Shul. If I M without looking at P, then I don't have to pay anything. I am trying to slowly "wean" myself away from lust.
My Rabbi always gives me the same advice. "Be happy. The world is good. Just be happy."

Re: I need help, please 03 May 2013 02:47 #206521

Hatzlacha - whatever works for you. For me, stopping cold-turkey is the only thing that works. Drinking only beer and avoiding shnapps & wine will not work.

MT

Re: I need help, please 06 May 2013 09:27 #206692

  • Eye.nonymous
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some_guy wrote:
I am going to try to go the next month without looking at P. Every time I do, I must give $20 to my Shul. If I M without looking at P, then I don't have to pay anything. I am trying to slowly "wean" myself away from lust.


I did not make much progress until I realized the problem isn't that I just have to stop m*sturbating in the shower, but maybe in bed it's okay because I'm so hot and uncomfortable and restless trying to fall asleep that I can't fight that battle yet. Or maybe looking at really vulgar pornography is bad, but looking at sweet innocent women in sweet innocent poses in some nature reserve is okay because, after all, I really appreciate nature and beauty and I can't help myself there and so maybe it's not all that bad.

It's not one battle looking at p*rn, or looking at one type of p*rn, and another one ejaculating into the toilet.

It's the same force driving all my acting out--LUST. And, if I merely block off one route, it will double it's effort in another way. It's not until I recognized and surrendered LUST in all it's cunning and baffling forms until I started to recover.

Just a few words from my experience, whatever it's worth.

Good luck to you,

Elyah
Last Edit: 06 May 2013 09:28 by Eye.nonymous.

Re: I need help, please 09 May 2013 00:39 #206887

  • some_guy
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Hi everybody,
I feel great! I have been clean for about 2 weeks! I have not looked at P once this month. I still get urges, usually flashes of the P I would look at, but I hold them off. I feel like the Yetzer Hara is running out of images to through into my head. I know its just waiting for me to let my guard down. I will be sure to be prepared for the next time it attacks.

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu
My Rabbi always gives me the same advice. "Be happy. The world is good. Just be happy."

Re: I need help, please 09 May 2013 23:56 #206976

  • some_guy
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Unfortunately, I fell this morning . I M in my bed twice . On a brighter note, I still have not looked at P.

Recently, I've started to read a few articles every time I am here. I think the ones under Torah help me the most. I am not really sure why. Whatever the reason, I have been having longer clean streaks and less "lust attacks".

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu
My Rabbi always gives me the same advice. "Be happy. The world is good. Just be happy."

Re: I need help, please 10 May 2013 00:01 #206978

  • zvi
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Keep going! Never give up! You're doing amazing!
Life’s a mountain. You just gotta keep climbing…

Re: I need help, please 10 May 2013 00:09 #206980

  • Pidaini
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KOT!! It's great to hear that you feel you are making progress!!

keep us posted
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: I need help, please 10 May 2013 00:39 #206984

some_guy wrote:
...I have been having longer clean streaks and less "lust attacks".

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu


Way to go! "Progress, not perfection".

Hatzlacha

MT

Re: I need help, please 10 May 2013 01:41 #206993

  • gevura shebyesod
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Sorry you fell. But as you said, things are improving and you're headed in the right direction.

KOMT!!!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


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