If you discover - when you are really honest with yourself - that you are driving using a rear view mirror...and that no matter how hard you try to "not look back" that you are still looking back, then I suggest you try a completely different derech to do what you know. For your derech is totally focused on this cheit and that often makes sure that the cheit is on the mind: counting how good I am doing based on not sinning, counting how bad I am doing based on my sinning, and such.

But if not, if you have hatzlocha, then that's so good! And please do not forget to share with others here on GYE in detail what you are doing that is working for you so far.

Thanks,

Dov

thank you dov

what is the other derech?

i am lost,,, i feel like i have am a full time worker for my yetzer hora, yesterday i crosed out on my punch card to deduct 1 hour of work, today i am going to deduct 90 minutes. for the last 90 monutes i open a bad websites and theb gaurd your eays website and so on several times, this is no jokes it is really true, i am really strugling.

By the way are you the same dov that gives the shiurim on the phone?

i am actualy reducing 2 hr from my card
a ganev i dont want to be
i guess that yetzer hura is easyer

ha? i guess so

Yeah, I give the shiurim...but they are not shiurim, of course, because I am a powerless addict. All I do is share, not diagnose or 'treat' anyone. But see:

What kind of 'rosho' is this, who porns himself out at work looking at naked people like they are gods who have all the great schoira - and then deducts the hours from his timecard?! Do you see what's going on here? You may be a tzaddik - but with a sickness. Ah shtick meshigeh gevoiren, ober a giteh mentch. Sick because you keep doing something you would never do if you really had totally free choice. So there is a possibility that you are an addict.

If you think that may be you, then let's talk.

thank you for your shiurim it realy gives me motivation
i listen to the downlads for at least the last 6 month

you can call it addict u you want, when i sin i actualy know it is not good for me

gyegye2 wrote on 09 Nov 2012 15:04:
You have the wrong guy, the calls I participate with are not recorded. They are not shiurim. And I am clean...which no rabbonim can say they are, for they are not addicts, they do not admit their own personal lust problems in their shiurim, and they do not speak recovery.

Except for the rabbomin and mechanchim and chassidim and kolel guys who I personally know in sexaholics anonymous, going to SA meetings as I do for years and staying sober with G-d's help. Those people speak recovery, man do they speak recovery... And none of them talk about the "yetzer hora", kedushas habris, and other nonsense for addicts, boruch Hashem. That's a big part of why they are actually sober.

At least you see how it is not good for you...and that has nothing to do with not being good for Hashem or His Torah. You see how it is not good for you, yourself. And that is a great stride forward indeed! It will not stop you...but it will lead you to taking your cleaning up seriously, and to you doing some hard things you really need to do to get clean and stay clean, chaver.

THNKS DOV FOR YOUR REPLY

i was clean for 7 days yesterday i fell thru the internet.

i hered yesterday a shiur from Dovi
www.guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/windows-of-the-soul-group />which gave me great chizuk
"I didnt ask for the yetzer hura... hashem gave it to me" so all hashem wants is to do what you can to try to be sober
today in the norning i davened pone peice witha special "kavane" to give a punch back the yetzer... this is a battle
anyway my new geder is that since i was so desprate to do the aveira and couldndnt learn 5 minutes aboutr shmiras eineiem from now on if i will act out with out learning 5 min before i will walk for 45 minutes instead of 30 nimutes that i usualk do afte acting out

So far i have the following gedarim
i have a filter
i have a reporting system
every morning i give tzedaka fro reb meir bal hanes and ask hashem... please rescu me from the yetzer hara
if i fall beones or berutzen i give 25 cents for tzadaka and ask hashem that he should forgive me and that i shouldnt fall again
i listen to dovis downloads 1 a day www.guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/windows-of-the-soul-group />i have in aditin to my filter an additonal k9 filter to block a specific site
before i fall i will learn for 5 minutes about shmiras einiem (it can help)
if i fall without learning for 5 min before i walk for 45 min and if with learning 5 min before i wolk for 30 min

it used to bewhen i wanted to fall i said ... why not... now i think twice
after all i know that i can not fight with angel... hashem needs to help me... or actualy do it for me
I am going to post now in the filter forum if their is anyway that i can make that i should see no pictures on my browser

In all that you wrote, nowhere do I see anything that says you surrender the priveledge of using lust. Nothing like, "I agree to give up my right to use fantasy, lust, pornography, looking at or touching myself for pleasure, or using the images of pretty people today."

All you write about here is doing things to try to get yourself not to use lust, or punishing yourself if you do (apparently in an effort to try and make it distasteful).

But the right to use lust, the acceptance of the fact that tasting it is still a priveledge that you reserve the right to use, is still there.

The sad fact is that sincerely "wishing I would not use lust at all today" is a very far cry from giving it up...even just for today. It's not the same thing, at all. One is 'for Hashem' - a sacrifice to 'be good for Him' - and the other is for ourselves...so it may seem like a lower madreigah - but it is far more honest and real, so it works. And "Chosamo shel HKB"H is Emess" - not frumkeit.

Is this food for thought, chaver, or does it just sound like gibberish to you?

i was clean for 10 days, i had a fall.

my new geder is that:

bli neder if i fall within the next 35 days thru the internet i will rip 60$ in 1/2 and destroy it not to have the good feeling of giving it to charity

i had a gedr that of a fall thru ny cell i will need to buy a new cell with a diffrent screen and it worked well not to fsall that way, so i hope to hashem that my above new geder should work.

So far i have the following gedarim
i have a filter
i have a reporting system
every morning i give tzedaka fro reb meir bal hanes and ask hashem... please rescu me from the yetzer hara
if i fall beones or berutzen i give 25 cents for tzadaka and ask hashem that he should forgive me and that i shouldnt fall again
i listen to dovis downloads 1 a day www.guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/windows-of-the-soul-group />before i fall i will learn for 5 minutes about shmiras einiem (it can help)
if i fall without learning for 5 min before i walk for 45 min and if with learning 5 min before i wolk for 30 min
i get the GYE prevention emails and read it daily
i write my log on this form

gyegye2 wrote on 27 Nov 2012 18:14:


Why be oveir on baal tashchis? Give it to me and that will also not be charity. You may even feel worse, knowing that I'm benefitting from your downfall.

Hatzlacha

MT

MT, Once you get it, please give me the Maser!!!....

Not so poshut. I consider this a "matzil mizuto shel yam" (saving from what would have been a definite loss). So this is like taking from 'hefker', and hefker is potur from maaser.

MT

No! Just the opposite, When u find something or win something you have to take off for Maser a Fifth not a tenth!

Let's hope (and pray) that he doesn't fall. Otherwise, we will need to go to Din Torah.

MT