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i fell and need to begin

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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

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TOPIC: i fell and need to begin 3555 Views

Re: i fell and need to begin 28 Aug 2011 19:58 #116645

obormottel
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Yossi.L. wrote on 28 Aug 2011 19:31:

Of course you do not know what to do; and of course its very hard for you. That's what all of us are here for. There's no easy way out. There's no quick solution. It's the fight of your life. You've taken step 1: that is to realize that you have an addiction. You've even had the courage to reach out for help. Now have the courage to accept the help, and follow it even though your desires are overwhelming.

If you knew what to do, you wouldn't be asking. So that's a given. If it was easy, none of us would need this website or anything else. So that's a given too. But I think Yossi is on to something: it seems, maybe, you think that someone here will just give you a magic spell or mantra and it will cure you in one minute.
It is a fight for your life, and you will only know whether you won or lost after 120 years. So get up, my brother, and get back to work. Filter, emails, forum. Wash, rinse, repeat. Maybe therapy, too. But start taking action NOW, while you still feel bad about what happened. Oh, and stop being sorry for what happened: it was so long ago already.
Stay strong, sababa. Keep on posting your struggles. You give us chizuk, too, because we sometimes forget how tough the battle is and can stop being vigilant.

Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.

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Re: i fell and need to begin 29 Aug 2011 08:43 #116694

sababa	Thank you my brothers I want to fall again and now I don't want It is very hard but we try Without you I couldn't have more! Thanks brothers
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Re: i fell and need to begin 29 Aug 2011 09:44 #116695

mechazek OFFLINE Gold Boarder men darf alla mohl mechazek zein Posts: 268 Karma: 0	sababa tishma tov mah shheim omrim lechah.when you fall it is koeiv to you so now think how did my yetzer harah get me what happened.I just think about ladies and then i fall or there or things that I use to help me be aroused and horny?write it out its hard but you have been so brave untill now take the next step it is matim lach.
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Re: i fell and need to begin 29 Aug 2011 10:29 #116696

sababa	I am see now a lot porn!. I can't,I'm going to fall!
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Re: i fell and need to begin 29 Aug 2011 11:59 #116701

mechazek OFFLINE Gold Boarder men darf alla mohl mechazek zein Posts: 268 Karma: 0	where are you?can you call one person?try to do something to get you away from computer.
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Re: i fell and need to begin 29 Aug 2011 13:09 #116707

sababa	I looked and I fell! Two days have fallen! I'm desperate
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Re: i fell and need to begin 29 Aug 2011 13:40 #116713

mechazek OFFLINE Gold Boarder men darf alla mohl mechazek zein Posts: 268 Karma: 0	Falling is an oppurtunity to change.how do you feel now?
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Re: i fell and need to begin 29 Aug 2011 16:55 #116742

sababa	I don't know I'm a little confused .. I think about women and I also want to stop .. And I think I'm worse I hope succeed!
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Re: i fell and need to begin 29 Aug 2011 17:07 #116746

mechazek OFFLINE Gold Boarder men darf alla mohl mechazek zein Posts: 268 Karma: 0	do you have a computer that you use to watch porn?
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Re: i fell and need to begin 29 Aug 2011 21:02 #116794

Yossi.L. Current streak: 2 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 339 Karma: 0	It is quite evident that you desperately want help. It's also quite evident that this conversation is not doing much for you. Maybe it's because of the language barrier, or because of the lack of connecting through writing. Maybe someone who speaks hebrew can offer their number to Sababa for him to call??
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Re: i fell and need to begin 30 Aug 2011 11:23 #116855

sababa	Language - is no problem I understand what you say. But because of the things I see I'm falling mechazek I saw in the Phone..
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Re: i fell and need to begin 30 Aug 2011 11:37 #116857

mechazek OFFLINE Gold Boarder men darf alla mohl mechazek zein Posts: 268 Karma: 0	would it help to drop your phone at my someone else for the day or even at my house for the day?
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Re: i fell and need to begin 30 Aug 2011 12:53 #116861

mechazek
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men darf alla mohl mechazek zein
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you have this malach outside of you that is called the yetzer harah it is not you that wants to look at those pictures I know because you keep coming here to tell us that you dont want to do it.HE DOES NOT CARE WHAT YOU WANT HIS JOb IS TO HAVE YOU LOOK AT THOSE PICTURES TO THINK AbOUT WOMAN ALL THE TIME AND THEN WHEN YOU DO IT ALOT THEN YOU WANT TO DO IT MORE AND WATCH EVEN MORE KINDS OF SEX AND THEN YOU WANT TO ACTUALLY DO IT AND THEN YOU START TOUCHING PEOPLE FOR SEXUAL REASONS YOU ARE ALLWAYS THINKING AbOUT SEXUAL THINGS AND THEN YOU START HAVING TO HIDE WHAT YOU ARE DOING FROM YOUR FREINDS AND FAMILY AND YESHIVAH AND THEN YOU START LYING......I CAN GO ON AND ON my point is he wants to destroy your life and you have to do battle it is real milchamah,so we got to get some intelligence on how he keeps on getting you and then we will start taking away his kochot.So if he keeps on getting you to look at girls on the phone we have to stop the phone you will then be able to think a little.It is alot of fun but you have to very serious about this war.ARE YOU READY?

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Re: i fell and need to begin 30 Aug 2011 13:55 #116866

hubabuba OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 423 Karma: 0	Sababa, what are you doing to make sure you don't fall, besides for complaining about all your falls? Do you have a filter on all your computers and phones? Are you on the 90 day chart? Are you doing (not just reading) the 12 steps? Do you have a partner or sponsor? Are you trying to be shomer einayim?
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Re: i fell and need to begin 31 Aug 2011 00:08 #117048

laughingman
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hmm i feel your problem sababa

i have had a problem too in the past and technically a filter is pointless to me cause i have the knowhow to get around them all

i have found personally that a more ......as the israeli saying goes "little by little" approach works sometimes ....but you must personally commit to a set of workable rules and not change them .....ever

i used to have much more severe mas............ problems but now Thank G-d im down to only rare problems with that and looking at things i shouldnt

you need to make a deal like every time you look or etc you will give tzedakah to counter it (and make it a sum that matters) and for every thing you trip up you must give this will ultimately make it to difficult and costly to continue and the tzedakah may help counter the negative effects

i myself had a fall but what i call a fall now wouldnt even be considered a fall to me 2 years ago see if this gives you any ideas

G-d help us all combat these problems and the problems that trigger them

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