The Library

Just sharing my current matzav with my dear Friends. I am in a really bad cycle now, it's been weeks since I have been sober. But what is different now, since I joined GYE? Firstly, the awareness I have gotten that all this negative behavior is NOT THE WAY NORMAL PE...

It's been hard recently. My wife and I have been "off" for about six weeks due to a change in medication, and it's been hard. I stumbled with computer stuff once or twice but I picked myself up and started again. I find it's about keeping to my own rules. If I am meikel,...

I have been a member of GYE for about 5.5 years. For the first two years, I was not able to get or stay sober. ( I even got once about 4.5 months but went back and couldn't stop). After hitting a new low, I spoke with Dov, and I decided to join SA and, through working th...

First, I want to thank you for this wonderful site. I have no words for you how this site saved my life. B'chasdei hashem, I am sober since I started the 90 days, which is almost a year and a half ago. This is a great miracle, and I am very grateful to Hashem for this si...

GYE was indeed very useful in helping me realise, over a period of time, that I was actually an addict, rather than simply having issues with shemiras einayim. I have therefore now joined a local SA group. I tried the 90 day challenge, and when I repeatedly failed to ac...

A wife wrote a letter to GYE: Your site was exactly what I needed when I signed up. I was a newlywed who had just found out about my husband's struggle and didn't know where to turn. Shocked, hurt, overwhelmed and frightened, I came across your site and found the sectio...

I came to GYE website about 10 years ago, because I was looking at porn once a week on my phone. I was learning in yeshivah at the time. I wasn't a huge consumer of porn, but I always felt terrible about it. I think I tried every one of the tools on the site at one point...

After being sober for almost a year and just falling recently again, I want to share what I think the main point in our struggle is. I have no doubt that one of the main reasons I fell is because I got comfortable in this struggle. Not only did I get comfortable, I WAN...

To all those that say there are no physical side effects/danger to p&m addiction (as opposed to hard drugs), here is my story. I've been going through a hard time lately and acting out more frequently then in the past. After one such incident, I began to have physi...

As my wedding day approaches, I feel it as an obligation to tell you a bit of my story, and how GYE came to the rescue and brought me to where I am now. I was born and raised in a very frum community in Brooklyn, where I lived in a very abusive home. My parents have been ...

I am known as a very good bachur and I learned in all the top yeshivas. I have struggled with these issues for years and years, which ruined my geshmak in learning and davening. I have tried many times to stop and was never able to do it. Eventually, I gave up and assumed...

Around a year ago, I was preparing my wife's leichter on Friday morning after she left to go to work, when something hit me. Had this been a few months earlier, I would have been in the bathroom watching porn instead of preparing the leichter. My sobriety gave me the op...

I want to tell you guys that since I've been here last, in the past 3 months my life has been changed completely thanks to Gd, to this program of 12 steps of recovery and the Big Book. My relationship with my wife has changed, my relationship with my kids has changed, my ...

I'm a teenager. I was out of hope. I couldn't stop; it was painful to stop and the desires kept coming. So I decided to learn about wasting seed in general, and when I found out that what I'm doing is a severe sin every time I would be tempted I would speak to Hashem, my ...

From 9:30 last night until 2 o'clock in the morning, my wife and I were building a new large closet. For the first hour and a half our children were helping. But then, obviously, it was bedtime... I am very tense about various things in my life: making money; how I fit i...

Something happened a few minutes ago that I thought was amazing: I was about to fall. It was after a long day of temptation, at about 11:15PM, and as I was about to start acting out, I heard someone try the handle of my front door! I immediately ran upstairs to tell my ...

I remember once when I was a child I had a very close relationship with Hashem. Then over the years I only checked in once in a while. By my twenties I knew He was here, but I wasn't about to be another "true believer". I needed proof. So I told Him, "I'm not goin...

Two members recently signed up as sponsors for our partner/sponsor program and wrote as follows: Before I began recovery I had built up about 25 years or so of addictive behaviors and attitudes neatly intertwined with depression, resentment, and bitterness. Toda...