In continuation of our story, Yerachmiel in the midst of a discussion with the Rosh Yeshiva, trying to understand why he has trouble coping with lust more than other boys do. The Rosh yeshiva continues...
"Another example comes to mind: 'water'. There are many similarities between our natural strengths and water. Like water, our inner strengths can't stand still for even a moment. When there's a blocked pipe, water will immediately seek a crack or a weak place to burst forth to the outside. And the stronger the water pressure is, the stronger the water will gush forth - exactly like when our individual strengths feel blocked - they burst outwards through Lust.
"Now you can also understand why lust attacks you mainly when you are sad or depressed. When you feel closed up inside yourself, your inner strengths feel blocked and the only way they can burst out is through an uncontrollable sexual drive. But this is not the case when you are feeling happy and connected to the world around you, because then, your many good inner strengths and qualities find expression in a positive way and they don't need to find alternative outlets".
"That is so true", smiled Yerachmiel. "From when I started to manage the Otzer Hasefarim and became more involved in the goings-on in Yeshiva, the drive became significantly weaker."
"Today", he added, his face full of expression, "my eyes have been opened to understand the battles going on inside me in a totally different light than I used to view them. This helps me accept my difficulties in dealing with lust on a daily basis and understand it better. But I still didn't receive a complete answer from the Rav to my original question: Why do I, particularly, have such a difficult time coping with my sexual drives, while I see that other bochurim don't have it so hard? Why do my inner strengths find expression by experiencing an endless sexual drive, while others struggle with totally different tests, like cravings for food, money or anything else?"
My heart overflowed with love for this young Bochur. I put my hand on his shoulder and said to him with a bright countenance: "That's a wonderful point you bring up, Yerachmiel. I thought I wouldn't have to get into that and I hoped you would be satisfied with what we said until now; but I keep discovering anew what a deep thinker you are. No idea can pass you by until you understand it till the end!"
"The truth is, there is another factor that we haven't spoken about yet and it needs to be brought into the equation as well, at that is - each person's particular character traits. As you surely know, every person has a unique nature and character. For example, there are those who get angry easily and others that almost never get angry. There are dominant people and others who just 'go with the flow'. Some people are very outgoing, while others are more introverted, and so on and so forth. Our inner strengths find expression - whether positive or negative - through our character traits".
"Perhaps this is most noticeable when choosing a job. One person chooses to be a doctor, another a lawyer - and so on. This doesn't mean that one person has more strengths than another, only that his nature is more suited to the specific job he chooses. Outgoing people will want to be more involved with society and will choose a job that reflects that, while more introverted people will choose a job that requires less human interaction. The character traits that are common to people with strong sexual drives are, like you have; for example, high creativity, endless love for people, spiritual sensitivity, and so on".
"So I hope it is clearer now why your particular character strengths find expression through a strong sexual drive. And by the way, sexual lust doesn't express itself the same way with everyone. One person's sexual preferences may be completely different than another's. It's actually sometimes possible to size up a person's personality andpsychological makeup based on his sexual preferences".
"Now I feel that I finally got a complete answer to my question", said Yerachmiel, "and it's also clear that if I can channel my inner strengths in a positive and constructive way, the powerful sexual drive that I suffer from so much will become noticeably weaker. But again I have a question. How do I do this in a practical way?"
To be continued...