Marriage in 2025:

23 year old chaim marries 21 year old Malky who knows how to cook and bake on her own, she knows how to care for a house laundry shopping and children etc. she doesn’t need any pampering anymore she has her friends and full social life set up already for the past 8 years she knows exactly what she does or doesn’t want, what she does or doesn’t like, what she does or doesn’t appreciate, she has her own phone since 7 years ago, and her friend from school {which there’s a very wide range of nowadays, from all types and backgrounds} whose father had an unfiltered smart phone and she learnt on her own what s*x is all about nicely educated Malky when she was just 8 years old exactly what it’s all about.

Although Chaim has learnt about the five love languages, it’s still too hard for him to figure out which one his dear wife relates to because she herself doesn’t really know, there is such easy access to anything and everything that nothing and everything talks to her, what Chaim should clean the dishes? The cleaning lady is here for that, he should buy her a diamond ring? Social media apps will prove that it’s a lab grown diamond even though he spent $7000 for it, etc.

And so Chaim comes home during shana rishonah and tells his wife “I love you” he buys her presents, he hugs and kisses her he tries to sit nexto her on the couch as often as he can, trying desperately to figure out how to break the ice between them…

But little does he know, Malky is sitting there and thinking to herself, I’m sooo excited with this diamond ring he bought me, but it’s just a nice present, it doesn’t define “love”, he has yet to prove to me that he really loves me, he’s just saying so and hugging and kissing me because he wants me to get undressed for him, he wants to use me, etc…

So the next night instead of sitting on the couch she just calls her friend and schmoozes with her for 2 hours and twenty six minutes… all while Chaim is sitting there with a big and encouraging smile on his face but anger bubbling deep inside him, finally she hangs up and makes a huge yawn as if to say sorry dear no s*x tonight I’m just waaayyyy tooooo tired, now Chaim feels rejected and let down…

Now this is not to say that this how it’ll stay forever, obviously a wise man would give her the space and time she needs to fully adjust to married life, the space and time it’ll take him to really figure out which one of the five love languages his wife really relates to and once he has it figured out and puts it into action, she’ll start really feeling “loved” not befriended for s*x, just “loved” then obviously there’ll be changes big changes coming from her side as well, she’ll suddenly care to try and figure out what love language her husband relates to, it’ll cease to be a friendship for s*x, instead it’ll become a real intimate couple life relationship.

But the point is that nowadays things are different very different, and true love takes time and in many cases a lot of time, we try, we fail, until we learn, then we see changes.

Inspired by talking with many people who feel / felt rejected by wifes actions...