Thank you for your thoughts on the article.

I don't know if I'll have time to read those pages you posted... although I'd like to.

Here's my view of "powerlessness" and "addiction". It's pretty much based on what I learned from Dov, and you're free to disagree.

It's very simple. A "powerless addict" as defined by AA standards is someone who (1) knows he must stop (2) but he can't.

So... someone who knows he must stop and he does stop, is not an addict.

And... someone who doesn't feel he must stop and he indeed continues acting out, is also not an addict.

Only someone who knows he must stop or he's finished - and yet he can't stop no matter what he tries, such a person is a "powerless addict" and he is ready for step 1 of the 12 steps.

Somehow, the 12-Step program seems to work best for such people.

If you were able to stop when you decided you must, then you were never an addict in the first place.

So why did you compare it to "cancer survivors?"

By the way, read this PDF. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it.

Page 242 quotes the Rambam while comparing the 12-Step "disease" view with the Torah approach.

YMG wrote on 02 Aug 2011 16:16:


ur-a-jew wrote on 02 Aug 2011 16:44:

This topic has been moved to the married men's forum over here: www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4177.0

(Only accessible to married men)

Gevura ShebYesod wrote on 01 Aug 2011 04:11:


YES!! MY DREAM-PROJECTION MACHINE WORKS!!!

1) The fact that we are powerless in ALL things is 100% true. However, real "truth" is easy to say but hard to truly feel. That's why most Yidden unfortunately don't learn to depend on Hashem with complete bitachon, even though they "say" with their mouths that "Hashem controls everything". However, when it comes to lust, an addict truly FEELS his powerlessness, and therefore when he says it, you can believe that he is speaking the "truth" in his heart. And when he gets desperate, he knows he has no choice but to let Hashem do miracles for him in THIS area... And the beauty of that is, that as he grows in his dependency and connection to Hashem in THIS area, he starts to feel it in all other areas as well... Slowly, he comes to truly "feel" what you said, that we are really powerless in ALL areas and that Hashem can do ANYTHING. And that is how the addiction can be a blessing in disguise.

2) The fact that Hashem can do anything is also 100% true. However, as much as Hashem CAN cure diabetes, cancer, broken legs, allergies, etc.. unfortunately for reasons known only to Him, He doesn't always do it. So as much as we may ask him to completely cure our addiction, He may or may not agree. If He does, as you claim He did in your case, that is a truly wonderful miracle! If He doesn't, as in the case of many others, He may still choose to HELP the sick person stay sober. That is ALSO a miracle. And in most cases of addiction, this is the more "common" miracle. And just as Hashem makes a miracle for a diabetic that takes his insulin, so too Hashem helps an addict that takes HIS medicine. What is his medicine? It's largely about learning how to LET HASHEM HELP US and LEARNING TO TRUST IN HIM to help usm. When we do actions to reinforce this emunah and start to live closer to Hashem, we open ourselves up to the miracle of sobriety...

"2b healed or not 2b healed?" That is the question. And in each case, Hashem decides

1) This week was the 4th Birthday of GYE and on 22 Tamuz we launched the following features on our new website: guardyoureyes.com/live/breakingfree
• The phone conference page, guardyoureyes.com/live/tools/calls
• All the detail pages of the phone-groups as well (here's 1 example: guardyoureyes.com/live/component/zoo/item/windows-of-the-soul-group)
• Our therapist referral system: guardyoureyes.com/live/therapists
• The Kosher Isle system: guardyoureyes.com/live/kosher-isle
• The e-books download page: guardyoureyes.com/live/ebooks

2) We also polished up and launched a thin version of the Hebrew website and the Yiddish website.

3) We got two new filter-gabai-volunteers who are willing to go down to people's houses and help them install filters. They are also willing to take phone-calls on our special "Filter Hotline" coming up soon. One of the volunteers lives in Kensington (between Boro-Park and Flatbush) and the other one lives in Monsey. They are both computer technicians with a lot of filter-knowledge, B"H. (This is just a start, we hope to have volunteers one day in every Jewish community!)

4) We finished editing the videos with Hebrew sub-titles and uploaded it to an intro page on the Hebrew website over here: guardyoureyes.com/live/intro/
(This is for PR to help us spread the word about the Hebrew network, which is slowly starting to grow and take root.)

5) We designed sets of new animated banners in many different sizes for Vosizneias.com, Arutz Sheva and YideoTube. We now have ads running on:

• YeshivaWorld


• Vosizneias


• Arutz Sheva


• Yideotube

6) The new registration system was finally completed (after a few weeks of work and bugs) and it was uploaded to the live-website.
It can be seen here: guardyoureyes.com/live/component/gyeuser/register

7) A lot of progress was made on the Hebrew translations of the handbook. It is almost half way completed.

1) English web development:
• The home-page was updated with nicer graphics: guardyoureyes.com/live/breakingfree
• The 12-Step Program section was added in: gye.mediamaxgroup.com/live/12-step-program
• The Kosher-Isle is nearly done: guardyoureyes.com/live/kosher-isle
• The donation page is fully functional now, with recurring credit card donation options: guardyoureyes.com/live/donate
• The "Phone conference page" gye.mediamaxgroup.com/live/tools/calls was completed (the conferences just need to be added in).
• The inside pages of the phone conferences are complete. Here’s an example of one of them: guardyoureyes.com/live/component/zoo/item/the-finding-happiness-group
• The new registration system was worked on heavily and bugs are being ironed out.
• We worked on the “Welcome Letters” for people who write to us for help, and for “wives of addicts”, as well as an anonymous “chain letter” e-mail about our work that we send when someone wants to help someone anonymously.
• We edited the videos that we have from last year's parlor meeting and narrowed them down to the most important parts.
• We edited and uploaded Rabbi Twerski’s talk in Yiddish at the recent dinner in Monroe over here: www.yideotube.com/users/GYE#2050

2) Hebrew Web Development: guardyoureyes.com/heb/
• We edited new translated articles
• We translated the videos from the parlor and put Hebrew subtitles onto the video and uploaded it. See www.yideotube.com/#2055

3) We also had a meeting with experts in "Search Engine Optimization" this week (on how to build the website in the best way for search engines to find us). Turns out though that they are not the right people for us, but they will try and help us find the right people for the job.

1) English web development:
- The Prevention home page is up (not fully ready): guardyoureyes.com/live/
- The Treatment home-page is starting to take shape (nicer graphics): guardyoureyes.com/live/breakingfree
- The Kosher-Isle is almost ready: guardyoureyes.com/live/kosher-isle
- There were lots of delays and bugs with the donation page, but 95% was fixed: gye.mediamaxgroup.com/live/donate (feel free to test it  ;D)
- The "Phone conference page" guardyoureyes.com/live/tools/12-step-phone-conference will hopefully be finished by tomorrow
- The registration system is nearly complete

2) Hebrew Web Development: guardyoureyes.com/heb/
- Many Hebrew articles were edited
- 4 new categories of the Hebrew website are well under way: (Q&A, Wives of Addicts, General, and 12-Steps)
- We added sign-up to Hebrew (and Yiddish) websites

3) We also consulted with the CEO of a "Search Engine Optimization" on how to build the website in the best way for search engines to find us. And we scheduled a phone confernece next week with our development team and these experts.

4) We also updated our handbook again this week, and we made a professional looking hard-copy available for purchase at this link for under $8. It can be shipped anywhere in the world, and you can even order up to 15 copies at a time to Israel for only $8.35 in shipping and handling costs!

5) We started an ad campaign on Arutz 7 for the whole year.
We have banners also running now on YeshivaWorld and Vosizneias.
Our traffic hit an all-time high today, at 645 hits (normal used to be 250/day).
Yasher Koach to all the sponsors who helped pay for the ad campaigns.
They are helping us save lives!

1) On the new English website:
  - The home pages of both Prevention & Treatment are almost finished
  - We designed the new content category web-pages and sent them for implementation
  - We did extensive testing of the new Chizuk e-mail system and found many issues which are being fixed/adjusted
  - Now that our handbook was redone, we set it up as a book that people can purchase hard copies at this link.
  - The new donation page underwent a lot of work this week and many revisions, it should be ready by mid-next week. It will include credit-card and phone donation options and will generate receipts automatically.

2) Advertising:
  - We got a great banner deal with Arutz Sheva (50% off). We found a sponsor to cover 6 months of the year ($1500).
  - Vosizneias.com is giving us a free banner.

3) Hebrew website:
  - We made serious progress with the Hebrew website. You can see it at guardyoureyes.com/heb/
  - We added Testimonials, Haskamos, GYE in a Nutshell, Links, Hotline, Forum - all in Hebrew!
  - We found someone who is willing to lead a phone-conference in Hebrew.
  - We reviewed the translations that are underway from the handbook (they are B"H very professional).

4) We also had a strategic meeting with members of SA in Israel to coordinate our efforts to help people in these areas. (They called us because many English speaking people are coming to their groups through GYE.)