amazing dialoug

dov wrote on 27 Jul 2010 04:04:


Over 1500 might soon 

guardureyes wrote on 27 Jul 2010 21:24:


Guard..... ??? ??? ???

"8 – We will keep everything that anybody else says in the group private on the rest of the forum. And we will sell no T-shirts identifying ourselves as members of this fuzzy little group in other boards."

Yiddle2 wrote on 27 Jul 2010 21:40:

So long as no one knows where this is coming from.  I don't believe that putting it in the chizuk email is a problem.  Dov could have just as well posted the whole back on forth on the board in the first place, what's the issue?

True good point I agree. I appologize Guard. Been a rough day for me....

I was sober yesterday but had rough day and at home, I was bored and wanted to run to my office.  Fortunately, my office was full of people last night, so I didn't go.

"Fortunately, my office was full of people so I didn't go.". The are no coincidences. Hashem is sending you a message "Moshe I see you're trying, I'll help you along." Continued Hatzlacha for a Sober day.

Yiddle2 wrote on 27 Jul 2010 21:40:


Good point Yiddle, but I figured that "everything that anybody else says" means that people would know WHO said it. But if no one knows who said it, I didn't think there could be an issue.

Dov's group, are we all in agreement with that?

Not going to disagree here. My fault. As I said earlier in the week:
Yiddle2 wrote on 27 Jul 2010 21:48:


I withdraw my objection your honor.

Have a great Shabbos Guard.

OK, so how about we bite the bullet and call this thing Bnei Machshovah Tova...or anything other than "Dov's Group"?

Are bullets tasty?

Last two days have been bad, just lusting after everything and acting out a number of times. Funny how every time I do something for recovery I fall even further almost immidietly.  I got of the phone call on Sunday and had two terrible days.  The first time I went to a SA meeting I fell 3 times that day.

I think it may have to do with a subconcious fear of giving this thing up, so I act out to make sure I am still able to do it.

its funny i find that i have the same problem. whenever i feel like i am making any progress i fall harder than i did before my "progress." i think the best thing to do is just forget about whether we are making any progress or how many days clean we've done or how "recovered" we really are. i know, its easier said than done and even though i have told myself to stop gauging i find myself doing it too. 

I got a new computer today, I can't install a filter because the person that keeps my password is on vacation until tommorow.  I need that password to install K9  (i have the same passwod on 4 other computers).

In addition, my business partner is on vacation too so punkt today when my password keeper is away, my office is empty, Dell delveres a unfiltered computer to my door.  Couldn't be more bashert 

I really feel like hashem is begging me to act out.

MosheF wrote on 11 Aug 2010 18:18:


Just the opposite.  On Rosh Chodesh Elul Hashem is giving you the opportunity to do real teshuva.  To be in the situation you were previously and yet not act out.  Reb Matisyahu in his perush to Sharey Teshuva gives this exact moshul.  He says a person was mezanah with a woman in a far away place and changes around his life.  Years later he takes a flight it gets diverted to this far away place and the person that he was mezanah with is there and he is michshol again and he thinks to himself how could Hashem do this to me.  The answer says Reb Matisyahu is that Hashem was doing a chesed with you he wanted to give you the ability to do real teshuva (oso moken, etc.).  So take the message from Hashem he loves you and don't act out.  What a way to enter Elul.

More immediately if your house was burning down you would run out a try to save yourself.  If being in an office with an unfiltered computer is going to mean that your about to act out then your house uis buring down.  So just get out of there.

PS. The last few days have been horrible for me. My wife and I are feeling pretty far apart (though we talk about that freely together and commiserate); my sleep schedule is wacked-out and I am waking up late for shacharis which is rotten for a chiyuv to do (though I daven with some kavono when I do get there, and know that Hashem loves me and wants me in that shul badly still!); my eyeballs have been feeling chained to every pretty woman I notice (thank-G-d my eyes are still functioning so well!) and gently closing my eyes and turning the other way - which usually feels just fine - has been uncomfortable (I am not used to that. It's usually a passing "oy", a thought about or word to Hashem, and then serenity...); and I have been late for practically everything (but that's not the end of the world...at least I am not really 'late'! :). B'kitzur, I feel like I am in a blender.

OK. The pity party is over, there are some chips left and a bit of Woodford for y'all. Care to join me in a post-self-pity, pre-RH tanss? I could really use one now....

Well. It seems that the difference between my life before sobriety and now in recovery all boils down to the parentheses!