Thank you so much for the gracious conversation we had today. The sincere concern for my well being was felt across the many states that separate us. Thank you for sharing your story. It is truly inspirational. G-d Bless!

Wow.. what a story. I am new here and only on day 2 and I just found this website yesterday and reading your story was great inspiration for me. 

I would  like to add that I am reading this at work in the bathroom and before yesterday, I would be doing something totally different in here. Thank you !!

Wow this is truly inspiring!
It sounds like you send 2-3 hours everyday working on being in a good place so you are able to conquer your addiction? What happens if you aren't able to do that much? Also did you say the program comes before family etc?

Realestatemogul wrote on 22 Aug 2018 04:27:

You pose a good question and I'm sure you're not alone on that so I'd like to take this opportunity to address it publicly.
To that question I ask, where did all of you find the time to act out for so many hours for so many years.....?? 
I try to make my program of recovery measure for measure. If I went to all lengths in order to act out then I will do that for my recovery as well. 

Putting that sentiment aside, recovery is about slow and steady improvement. Recovery is not a quick weight-loss program, it's a lifestyle change of living more spiritual and healthy ODAAT and growing more and more over time.  As long as your program of recovery is improving steadily you're on the right path.

As far as putting recovery before family... just like on any given day I will not have energy to do my job and get through the day unless I have a healthy breakfast so too I can not be there emotionally for my family if my recovery is at risk. I get a 24hr reprieve from my addiction when I take my spiritual medicine and work my program ODAAT.  

May Hashem give you the strength to always put Him and recovery first.

Just came across this thread.

Amazing stuff.

So happy it's working for you. 

Perhaps we'll meet one day... as we trudge the road of happy destiny...

Hey Chevra,

I just wanted to share with everyone that miracle of miracles, b'chasdei Hashem I've reached 1,000 days of consecutive sobriety!!!! 

After acting out so intensely and trying to stop for so many years (you can read my story on the beginning of this thread) it was only a few years back that I had thought to myself that I would never live to see this day - I just didn't think it was possible.

I'm now 40 years old and I'm here to tell you friends there IS hope and IT CAN BE DONE!!

Today actually feels like any other day. My program of recovery doesn't change because I'm now in the "4 digits" of consecutive days in sobriety. The struggle, temptations and challenges are definitely way easier than they were two years ago or even one year ago and ODAAT I've learned to live a life of "surrender" and "service" so that I can live a life of happiness, serenity and having a close relationship to my Creator.

I've learned that I can't take even a sip of lust because it takes me away from my quality of life and signals that something is wrong inside me.
I've learned that naturally my addict brain will continue to veer towards lustful thoughts and when it does I simply need to "surrender" it to the One Above and sometimes pray for the person and then move on. Not only for lust but I also need to surrender all my negative emotions and deregulating or potentially triggering feelings. On many days I may only need to surrender once or twice throughout the day and then there are days when I need to surrender ten times in a day or more - but it works!
I've learned that isolation is my worst enemy. I need to share my embarrassing thoughts and actions with my recovery friends if I ever want to be free of them.
I've learned that instead of trying to control things, I need to let go and let Hashem run my life and the world - He does a much better job that me anyway.
I've learned that I still have much to learn and that following other people's direction is a strength, not a weakness.
I've learned that being resentful or judging others negatively only hurts me
and I need to surrender those thoughts and to use the steps to free myself of those resentments.
I've learned that I can not feel "ok" with myself if I owe someone an amends. As embarrassing, uncomfortable and "not right in principal" as it may be I need to ask for forgiveness right away without ever expecting an apology in return. I need to keep "my side of the street clean" at all times lest I want to get dirty from the "cars of life" driving by.
I've learned that I need to turn Hashem into a real "tangible being" that I can connect with. As much as  I always "believed" in Him and prayed to Him I never talked to Him on my level. I always viewed Him as an esoteric and scary G-d on high. I now talk to Him like I talk to any human being and as if he's "down here" instead of "up there". I even "take walks with Him" whenever I can. I now feel His love and we communicate openly and regularly - not just when I have a "major request".
And I've learned that the key to happiness is being grateful and always seeing everything in a positive light.

I don't post on the forum that often but I do read a lot of the posts here and get tremendous chizzuk from them. I also have made many GYE friends along the way and have had the opportunity of connecting with hundreds of GYE members by phone and via chat. I feel so privileged to be a part of this great community and I look forward to celebrating many of our milestones together BE"H!

With Many Blessings,

G4L

Thank you so much for sharing. A true chizzuk.