The highlight of these groups are the private groups feature - special private spaces where you can connect with other members similar to you (based on marital status, age, and type of struggle), who are actively working on reaching freedom. 

It’s our hope that this platform will help members work on recovery, get chizuk, share ideas, get feedback, and have meaningful discussions. Also, by keeping each group small, it will be easier for you to get to know the chevrah and find a support partner from someone in the group.

Here are some features and benefits of this new platform:

• A beautifully designed modern interface
• Password protected with no public access
• Each group will have dedicated moderators & mentors
• Private messaging and groups chats
• Creating a long-lasting, close-knit Chevra with individuals in the struggle like yourself
• Special “spaces” to discuss Flight to Freedom topics (each lesson has its own space)
• Separate groups for working the 12 steps & teens.

If you're interested in joining on of these online groups, please email me at chaim@guardyoureyes.org
with replies to the questions below:
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Which group would you like to join?

• Singles 18-21
• Singles 22-26
• Married (all ages)
• 12-steps

Which behaviors do you struggle with?

• I don't struggle, I'm just curious
• Shmiras Einayim Only
• Masturbation (zera levatala) but not Pornography
• Pornography & Masturbation (and/or phone lines)
• More than just P&M
• Other ___________________

How long are you struggling?

• Less than 1 year
• 1-2 years
• 3-5 years
• 6-10 years
• 10+ years

At what age did you start struggling? 
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Looking forward to your replies chaim@guardyoureyes.org

Thank you

I was thinkin' of disbandin' my Cord's "No Strings Attached" group, for although it is pretty active, and it's full of triggerin' material, cussin' language and the real hard-core (pervert!) truth from some, I was receivin' some messages that it's waterin' down the forum, as there is a predominance of "I'm about to have a nefilah," "have you tried net-spark/nanny with a bios MAC metadata with no access to the tomato router firmware with an option of UEFI support?," or "You're a hero! Celebrate in Temishvar! The malachim are singin' shirah." [Those are all good, positive, productive stuff.]

But now that the forum will have 3.063 people per space, as of the 46 options above, unless you checked off "all of the above" (which I was thinkin' of doin'), you will be in a space together with 2 other folks, plus a percentage of a third (I'm actually surprised that there wasn't a section for identifyin' genders), I think I will keep the Strings intact for the moment, for there, all of you are welcome.

Public disclaimer: It is my responsibility to moderate the forum, I don't make universal site decisions; there are many folk who are much smarter and more experienced than I who do that for a livin'. I am not pokin' fun at their announcement; I am simply postin' in order to illicit response and to get people talkin'.

cordnoy wrote on 14 Mar 2022 16:56:

One of the benefits of the "No Strings Attached" group is that only people that know what they're getting into have access to it and it's hidden from the mainstream. 
These new groups are an experiment with many great benefits that the current forum does not have. We need to keep on trying new and better things and not stay stuck (in recovery as well :-) ).

cordnoy wrote on 14 Mar 2022 16:56:

People

If you don't get Cord's points, you're really missing something.

Cord - I only log in here to see if you or Trouble have posted. You make me want to actually be a better Jew and he makes me laugh. Sometimes, you both do the other one :-)

I have not been on the Strings blog for 2 weeks or so, but I really don’t see the need for it. Why can it not be on the Married Mens section?

So what that people are more open?? Great, let’s bare it all, so simply make a “Trigger BB section” because I can assure you there’s many good guys that deserve access there without specifically requesting and many others that would gain from it. Probably at least half the married men…

Gye used to have Group Threads on the forum. It did not get the outcome that all of us would have wished… They would often take off with grand fanfare and then come crashing down dismally after a week or 2 months. Check them out (if they still exist)

Why making it private would be beneficial? Beats me. I don’t think it is very important to have. I do understand that they can definitely be place for 1 or 2 private blogs, but on the whole, no. 

One big part of recovery is the realization that we are normal, and the more people we have on a tread, the more it helps the guye. Take for example YeshivaGuy’s thread. Where would he be if he’d be on a private yacht and only receive 20% support?

Markz wrote on 14 Mar 2022 19:02:

I will probably get stoned, but personally, I think he'd be better off.

[Please remember that I am a nobody; I have just been here way too long so they give me some jobs.]

Markz wrote on 14 Mar 2022 19:02:

Regardin' your main point, I respect your opinion and honestly don't know if it's beneficial or not to the folk who post there, and whether it's detrimental or not to those who are here, but what I do know is the facts on the ground, and that is that there are many on that site that have been on GYE for a long time and some a short time, and they are postin' stuff there that they were not comfortable postin' here. Is it because it's more private/confidential? Is it because it's more cool for one reason or another? I don't know, but those are the facts. I have always been about lettin' folks speak their minds, even those (like me) whose minds need mechitzos surroundin' them, so if there is now a place where they can bant and rant, I'm all for it! Can they do it here in the B"B forum? They could, but many aren't.

cordnoy wrote on 14 Mar 2022 19:37:

Do you mind elaborating? I'd be interested to hear why you say that

Lot of dumb replies make lots of guys stop posting. 

Lots of guys who came here around the same time as me will still show up and still chat/email but don't post. They still struggle, but they just don't find it helpful because many of the guys who hang out here just don't get it. 

Yes, lots of stuff in "the strings" could be here, and some of it indeed made it but those conversations would have never began here on the forum. In the group, guys are more comfortable sharing more personal things and feel safer being honest. 

The various groups serve this same purpose, to find and group together people who understand each other because they are in a similar stage, On the forum you have a thirty year old guy who is married with kids posting about his struggle with all it's components and he gets a reply from a twenty year old bachur who has an unfiltered iphone and nebach, is tempted to watch porn. You just lose interest in posting after a while.

Just my thoughts.

I definitely was able to talk about certain things on the closed forums that I would never post over here. I do wish that there would be a little bit more activity though.

wilnevergiveup wrote on 15 Mar 2022 00:34:

You make a great point, and I;m sure that's much of the reason that people don't post honest and vulnerable stuff - because they don't want to get the "wrong" responses. We all know we have different kind of conversations when we're surrounded by people who "get us" vs. when we're not. I agree it's a problem - but I don't think the solution is to make private groups - except as a last resort. I think that would result in clearing all the great real, genuine content that's posted much more limited - resulting in the forum becoming a deadzone of sorts where all posts are nice, neat and pc. That's a great disservice to any newcomer who could benefit from you and all who are similar. We need those who challenge, the contrarians, those who cut through the %&$# and say it like it is. That's necessary to keep this forum as powerful as it is. I wouldn't be here today if all I saw here was nice temimusdik talk (though that helps too)

Anyone have a better solution?

Avrohom wrote on 15 Mar 2022 03:50:

@wngu - Do you think it would help you (and all of you who might feel the same - @sapy @vehkam @bego - sorry for calling out the innocent - just trying to break through some of my naturally overly pc self)
If there was a forum or thread devoted to being more real - where it was ok to call people out for being too out there - and dishonest?

Throwing in my two cents for what it's worth, I agree very much with Avrohom. I'm definitely someone who leans towards "temimusdik talk" when it comes to my own life, that's just based on my personality type and how I'm comfortable expressing myself. Nonetheless in the year or so that I've been reading these forums I have gained tremendously from those who are very in touch with themselves and are able to/have the courage to express themselves in a real and straight up way. Maybe I haven't been around long enough to really grasp the dynamics of what's going on here, but I've found the recent posts suggesting that the GYE forum is coddled/fake/off the mark to be deflating and a bit disheartened. We as a community rely on the veterans of this site who have a high degree of self knowledge and true ability to express themselves, it's a shame to see that go underground

Avrohom wrote on 15 Mar 2022 04:01:

I don't think anyone is running away. You are mixing two things here, helping others, and helping ourselves. I am not recommending anyone to stop posting on the forums, that I think is something we owe to GYE to continue doing. What I think is fine is for guys like me to have a place to get help for ourselves. You can trust me that I need as much help as anyone here, but I have not posed about my struggles in who knows how long. Right or wrong I don't know, but that's the reality. 

Why should a guy like @Trouble or @Vekam post about their struggles if the response they would get is someone asking them which filter they have? That doesn't mean they shouldn't post anymore.

This is not a social event, at least not for guys who are serious in their recovery. Cordnoy's group for example ranges from one end of the spectrum to the other. The one thing in common I think is that they are mostly guys who are serious about their recovery. They don't just spray hot pepper juice on their hands and take off their glasses when watching porn. They are guys who are working on their marriages, middos and every other aspect of their lives. These are guy who are actually trying to change themselves as people instead of hoping to stop "cold turkey" and everything will just "fall into place".  

Can someone put me right side up please?

What is Cordnoy's group?

What are these new private online groups?

Are these two things one and the same?

Can someone please post some cliff notes on the subject?

I think I read all the public posts on these two threads, but I'm still confused. Maybe because I read everything backwards (as in most recent posts).