;D Really happy for you! Keep it up!

KOT!!

super-gevaldig!

I'm proud of you. Gold star!

  Thanks everyone for the Chizuk I was clean since last friday so this is my 9th day (didn't finish the 9th yet). I'm so happy and excited about it! Not only is this awesome because I'm clean, it also seems to be getting my life on track. LETS KEEP ON TRUCKING

That's wonderful!

I'm also in the beginning of my journey, and I really feel that your posts are mechazek me.

Just look at the despair in your first posts -all caused by the S"M and Koichos HaTum'ah -and the Gevaldige positive energy (with all those smiley faces!) flowing from your posts as the clean days build up. As far as fear of falling? See Bard's - the barkeep/kickboxing instructor/Rebbe of Chassidim for help A.not to fall B.How to take a fall (CH"V).

Just stick around here and treat the shmutz that you didn't want to talk to your therapist about -and you won't be needing to see him for depression.

Oh, and save your money for some Woodford!


Ben Durdayah

ben durdayah wrote on 02 Jan 2011 22:23:

  I really feel the act of posting is mechazek me. Thats why I post. The fact that I get feedback and people follow my journey and give me chizuk etc like YOU are doing ben durdayah wrote on 02 Jan 2011 22:23:
IS WHAT KEEPS ME STRONG!
  Glenmorange 15 years kicks

My Tatte a"h used to practice 'Echoz bazeh -Umizeh Al Tanach Yadecha'

We were brought up on single malt scotch, small batch bourbon, and vodka from the freezer -at least I didn't turn out an alcoholic (we only drink on Shabbos, Yom Tov, and Simchos and never even got drunk Purim until we went away to yeshiva...)!

Keep up the good work.

Your first post was so full of utter despair... Sometimes that's what it takes. We hit bottom before we can start to climb again.

Keep the faith and take it one day at a time!

Thanks guard. I'm working on my 11th day now, and to think of how desperate I was and how far I've come is unbelievable! I hope it continues and TIZKU LIMITZVAS

love your signature. So true.

Trying to be real and stuff. Tonight i started falling a bit into chatting with someone online I didnt do anything "bad" per se but the fact that I chatted even though it wasnt about sex bothers me. I feel that if i trully realize the poisen i would've stayed further away. So you'll say "just stay away" but i feel like i wasnt able too. I feel like the question is why i dont realize how much i shouldnt get even close to doing something wrong. Im confused...

Think about what you just said, "I feel like I wasn't able to...". Repeat it a number of times until it really, really sinks in, and there you have it- Step #1.

The fact that it bothers you is also good, that means that you're starting to feel that your life has become unmanageable. You're doing great! If you listen to your inner voice, you'll come to see that that is the completion of step #1.

When you're done, we can move on to step #2.

With you in your struggle,

Ben Durdayah

good points Ben

just want to add that it is unrealistic to expect that you can just stop cold-turkey
it took many of years and years of searching out the garbage
it becomes a habit and an obsession
it will take time and effort to get out of it
a change in attitude
a feeling that you are giving a piece of yourself away

if you keep at it you will be'h succeed
you will slowly change for the better
you will see where it is that logic shuts off and obsession takes over
take steps to save yourself when that happens

you will see how much better it is to live a normal clean and happy life
might not be today or next week but it will come be'h
you have it in you
you have an unbeatable Partner, talk to Him, let Him help you