Well, this Wednesday was 30 weeks clean. I have just about no urge to do anything which I should not. On the other hand, the further I get from my starting point, the more I can "feel" spiritually and emotionally. People tell me that I look happier and I act nicer. I am also starting to feel a void because I'm not married. However, this is not the kind of void I would have felt before (a need to feed my lust), but rather I feel like I need someone to have an emotional connection with. I certainly don't look at women the way I did before. I can talk to them when I need to without feeling disgusting and having disgusting ideas and images going through my head. I do realize that for many people here the damage is deeper and cannot be fully undone. This has nothing to do with your strength. If you were addicted for a much longer period of time, you may never be able to see a woman without being overwhelmed by lust. Again, this has nothing to do with willpower. Hashem was kind to me and let me get out of this early, and for that I'm very thankful. But each person here must do what can be done to avoid things which are triggering. If that means never speaking with women, that is what must be done, and I have much more respect and admiration for those people who fell to that level and have still broken the addiction than I do for myself and others like me.
EDIT:
I'm spending so much time on this forum because I feel obligated to read every single new post. As the forum continues to grow, I don't know how I'm going to keep up. I hope to see this "problem" continue to grow.
