wow
thanks for that article

I always wondered, (but didn't care too much) why I have this problem.  Maybe that article answers some questions.

This article, which confirms what many of us have long known to be true, is a real breakthrough!  The secular world has long viewed pornography and masturbation as harmless.  They're not.  As the article states, they very much affect our ability to relate to others.

Sorry, but the last thing I have any interest in being is a crusader against porn and masturbation. I see it as my disease because I am an addict. I believe that normal people can tolerate porn for pleasure but have come to know that I cannot. I accept that it is not healthy, but neither is cigarettes - and I believe that there is nothing really wrong with enjoying an occasional cigarette, pipe, or cigar. Hashem has informed us that looking at porn is destructive to any yid. That is of course the truth. But the issue I am getting at is not whether it is good for the person, but whether it is TOLERABLE. We all do plenty stupid and even destructive things like being makpid, getting angry, lying, being irresponsible, or selfish - all destructive. Yet we can tolerate a certain amount of poison. I believe the same holds true with porn and lust. Being idiotic and using schmutz is not the end of the world for the average yid, or l'havdil - for the average goy.

But not for me. I am an addict and cannot tolerate it, at all.

If a good yid decides that because of his principles he refuses to tolerate any porn or lust, too, gezunterheit. I am happy for him, for I believe it will help him be more sane, be more sensitive to others, do Hashem's Will better in general, and be a happier person. These things are precious indeed. If a goy decides the same thing, then the same applies, as far as I am concerned. It seems to me that life for anyone will be much better without fantasy blurring it. It's like lying, to me.

So no crusading for shmiras einayim for me. If a person decides they are under the control of lust, I am with them shoulder to shoulder! But as long as they think they are doing it to be on a higher madreiga, then as far as I am concerned, they just don't 'get it'....if they are addicts.

Hope this is no chiddush to anyone.

:-*