1daat, that's a great story, thanks for sharing!
and thanks for checking in


this may not be a great revelation but to me it is important.
Who is my final authority?
Who decides what is best?
me. (i think that is the truth. not pretty but true.)

love>trust>loyalty=obedience
no love>no trust>disloyal=disobedience

the new idea to me is that i am often convinced that what is good for me is actually not. there are flawed mechanisms in my mind. addictive thinking which masquerades as healthy thinking.

(the mishna at the end of Peyah says that a dayan who takes shochad will eventually become blind (8:9, Tosfos Yom Tov). this may be more than just a punishment or midah kneged midah, it is a direct outcome of his tampering with his thought-processes, he blinded himself to the truth so his mind's eye becomes blinded by the force of habit.)

like a child who kicks and screams when his parent takes away the power tool he is playing with, i do the same. the danger is clear but it is beyond my comprehension and/or appreciation.

i need to learn to override my own calculations at times. to trust.

i had 3 oranges and 3 hamantashen for lunch

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 20 Mar 2012 19:21:

Hmmmm, 3 circles and 3 triangles. Doesn't sound like one of the 3 squares though.... :D

And what kind of shape will you be in, eating like that?

gevura, that was very serendipitous
i have a shtickel purim torah and your post reminded me that i did not inflict it on the general gye populace

ואם תאמר
What is the difference between hamantashen and donuts? both are filled with jelly.

ויש לומר
A donut is round. it can be rolled here and there. Chanuka - when we eat donuts - is a time when we celebrate the miracles and the prevalence of the neshama over the Greek culture and its detrimental effects. Every persons level of identification and engagement with his neshama is different, some spend all day with their neshama, some only nights and weekends, and some only do once a year milu'im on the High Holy Days...

On Purim we celebrate the salvation of the guf. Haman wanted to destroy the Jewish people regardless of who they were and their spiritual level. In his eyes the Jews were equal. If you had Jewish blood you were on his list. So the Jewish body was the great equalizer.

Hamantashen are triangular, and they cannot roll (like the chocks put under wheels of cars and airplanes to keep them from rolling). They are stationary.

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 21 Jun 2010 16:11:


Lechaim!

shalom-bayis stress-test of the year: pesach

wife wants to eat in the dinette shabbos before pesach
wife does not want to use store-bought items on pesach, of course besides for wine and matza and soda and chocolate and oil and potato starch and more. (i dont understand how this idea is defined, either make everything yourself or buy everything...)
wife wants to do spring cleaning, air blankets, clean the AC filters, etc.

husband (me) wants to do what needs to be done, spring cleaning can be done for shavuos
eat store-bought stuff. i back it up with the adage that the wife follows the husbands minhag, wife counters that i dont have any minhagim (which can be true, depending on what a minhag is)
eat in dining room where there is room and it feels like shabbos

there is the lust angle as well, cause if the wife is knocking herself out and staying up late it means that she wont have time/strength for you-know-what

my better sense tells me to keep my mouth shut and try to make the wife happy. i imagine you would advise the same?

Wow, are our wives sisters? I had the same discussion last week with my wife.  Me:  Pesach is erev shabbos so of course we can eat in the dining room the week before.  Wife:  No that just means we only have to eat one week in the kitchen.  More recently in response to my wife's comment that she was so behind in pesach cleaning.  I remarked jokingly that if that was the case we are going to have to do the minimal pesach cleaning since we wanted to make sure we finished spring cleaning on time.

At the end of the day. Ask yourself this.  Which do you think pleases Hashem more?  A shabbos meal that is eaten in the kitchen but at which the wife is calm since she knows that kids are not running all over her dining room with chometz, or one eaten in the dining room at which the wife is a nervous wreck and resentful that her husband doesn't care about her.

Similalry, you are not going to change the spring cleaning mentality.  Just remember, a home is a woman's castle.  So long as she also makes sure the chometz is out (which is really your job so be grateful to her that she is doing it) let her run her castle anyway she wants.

And if its you-know-what that you want.  I assure you that your chances increase when you are both on the same page and not when she feels you are working against her.  Picking up the mop, broom and vacuum don't hurt either.

Good luck and know that you are not alone.

Hi ZS, I wish I had the good sense to listen to my "better sense" more often.

Hatzlacha!

P.S. Why don't you just take a Pesach cruise or something?  You can throw all the chometz in the water .  I wouldn't advise burning it on the ship though :o.

gibbor120 wrote on 21 Mar 2012 20:20:

me too,
that's why i enlisted UAJ,
good sense + UAJ vs. my bad sense makes it clear that it's outnumbered...

gibbor120 wrote on 21 Mar 2012 20:20:
aye aye cap'n!

Ben Durdayah sends his best regards to all gye-people

my thoughts today

i'm scared. i'm scared to give up my security blanket (of lust). i am scared i'll be left without any comfort. without pleasure. without any me-time. without indulgence.

not trusting, not giving it up, not surrendering, not feeling secure.

feeling like a drowning swimmer who thrashes at his rescuer, not seeing that by thrashing and squeezing he is hindering the rescue.

where am i wrong?

my life, my pleasure, my me-time, does not come from my addictive behavior. the lust is not the channel through which my life flows.
it is my desperate measure of survival, not the true pipeline of life.

there is so much good in my life. who gave it? who provided? who kept me? who protected me? and yes, there are hardships too. who put them there? why?
the why's are usually elusive but the who is clear.

stop fighting, stop controlling, stop being Boss.
that is a tall order. and it's not going to happen today.
but it is a goal.

thinking about it and realizing it is but the beginning.
acting the right way is the only way to concretize it.

food for thought:
koecadlsww

Keep On Eating Coleslaw And Delicious Lasagna Salad With Woodford?

Shteeble wrote on 22 Mar 2012 17:50:


Kohanim order "emunah cake" and devour little slivers with wafers.

I thought it was Catholics that devour little slivers of wafers...

cholent?