Hello Everyone,

I haven't been on the forums that much,  but I thought I owe a debt of gratitude to GYE site for helping me get to 90 days.

I also want to thank the people that have posted to the site.  I am certain their dialogue aided me to get to 90 days.

Its a bit anticlimatic that I have nothing remarkable to say, but thanks to Hashem for alleviating my YH.

May Hashem grant everyone else success in this area as well,
mekubal

amen!
and thank you for posting,
chag sameach!

Wow!
I am sure that you have learned a lot about how to cope. Let us hear about it!

I don't know really how to describe how I coped.  Each day a different strategy.  Sometimes each hour. 

Keeping myself preoccupied and the naturally inrease of stress of trying to survive in difficult circumstances helped.

But I will say one really odd thing happened. 

I've known I've had a problem for years and so I've been reading a Rebbe Nachman Shemiras Habris sefer.

About 1 year ago I lost the sefer. I took this to be a really bad sign. 

On day 90, I found the sefer.

mekubal.

Nu, at least one thing is obvious: you do not need that sefer to stay clean. Perhaps the Breslover derech is for others, and you are finding a different path with Hashem than theirs. Stranger things have happened, you know. In either case, you made it...and without that sefer. So I hope that if you do try again to use it, you find a way to use it in a different way than you did in the past when it was not working for you. Trouble can be hidden in the strangest places, v'hameivn yovin. Hatzlocha, my friend!! (and Mazel Tov on 90+days!)

True, I did not need the sefer.

However, many of the items that I remembered from the sefer I think recapitulated the list of tools on the guard your eyes toolkit: Get help, Don't look at the forbidden, study torah, be engaged in other mitzvohs, etc.

so what worked?

In truth, all I can say is that I feel certain that I recieved heavenly assistance. 

I've read other peoples posts and feel for them.  In fact, I was kept awake motze shabbos...
worried about Momo's situation.

mekubal.

mekubal wrote on 17 May 2010 18:13:


That is a VERY remarkable thing to say!

Reb Mekubal, you are GREAT! I love your style. Quietly, without much fanfare, inching along until you reach your goals.

May Hashem grant you His help in setting - and achieving - many more goals.

With your quite determination you will yet acquire great heights!!!

mekubal wrote on 24 May 2010 16:03:


That says it all. In fact, if I ever point to any other reason other than that one, I fear there's something deeply wrong with me. We try, work, follow directions and do for Hashem and His people, then we shrug our shoulders and smile when we see we are getting better. There's no better way to live, as far as I am concerned.